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Fed up with partner choosing the gym

156 replies

unsurerightno · 09/02/2023 15:46

NC for post. Been with partner 4 years. Love together for two. Trying to get the spare room decorated and furniture built. The last month partner has been to the gym 4/5 times a week and as I now WFH i'm obviously doing a lot more than I used when I was in office. Washing everyday, cleaning, built the wardrobes that arrived, cleared our bedroom out etc. every night I've been having dinner on my own as partner doesn't get back till 7:30 and I can't wait that long. I've asked him to give up golf next weekend to do a tip run and asked him to sort his draws etc out as they're full of crap he doesn't need. We've had a huge argument about this as I'm fed up of almost being second best and waiting around for him to be free.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 09/02/2023 18:59

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:56

@ShirleyPhallus so do you work out at home in the morning? I don't find that half as fun as a class.

Yeah, I do weight training at home 4x a week then do a spin class at the weekend

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:58

@ShirleyPhallus I assume you're not working with a baby though?

HundredMilesAnHour · 09/02/2023 18:57

SlashBeef · 09/02/2023 17:16

What?! Yes they do! Some people are in the gym every day!

Exactly!! Some people go TWICE a day actually. Most of my friends and I go 4-5 times a week but I've actually cut down as I used to go 13 days out of every 14.

Can't believe someone thinks this means he must be having an affair. Utter mad paranoia!

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:56

@ShirleyPhallus so do you work out at home in the morning? I don't find that half as fun as a class.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/02/2023 18:54

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:50

@ShirleyPhallus don't you ever crave a lie in? I assume no dc? 😆

We have 2 young children - toddler and baby. Tbh, I find that I’m a better mother / partner / life admin person when I’ve worked out so I prioritise that in my day. My mood gets a bit low if I have a few days of lazing around / not exercising, even if that’s just a long dog walk. If I leave it until later in the day then I don’t do it as life takes over so getting up early is worth it.

my husband says that for him, exercise isn’t self care or a treat or down time or anything, it should be essential in our day if we want to do it. So we make time.

have a lie in at the weekend and that works just fine for me!

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:54

Sounds like he's having an affair if he is spending that much time away from you. NO ONE, not even gym junkies go that many times

Tbf I went regularly on may leave & surprisingly some people spend all day in the gym, everyday!

Yarrawonga · 09/02/2023 18:52

Sounds like he's having an affair if he is spending that much time away from you. NO ONE, not even gym junkies go that many times

No one?

I do.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 09/02/2023 18:50

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/02/2023 17:14

I’ve never eaten at 7:30. It’s always done and dusted by 6:30.

I’d be pissed off if l were you. What’s the point being in a relationship if you don’t see much of each other?

You’ve never gone out for dinner and eaten later than 6.30? Been to a friends for supper and it got served at 7 or 7.30?! Gosh.

OP, I never get home from work / finish WFH before 7 and it’s often much later. I too go to the gym every week day and again at the weekend.

Some flexibility required from you, I think.

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:50

@ShirleyPhallus don't you ever crave a lie in? I assume no dc? 😆

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:48

This has become a thread full of posters just dying to say they go to the gym 15 times a week have 18 other hobbies and work 2 jobs

🤣

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:48

I go 6 days a week most of the time (sometimes everyday) and then do extra sports / active activities at weekends during the day. And work full time.

How do you fit it all in? Are you dc older? Does your partner spend the same time on hobbies? I would like to go more & work p/t but family & friends takes up a lot of my time.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/02/2023 18:47

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:43

This is what I don't understand about people who say they go to the gym/hobby 5+ times a week. if your partner does the same how do you have time together & with friends.

We both get up early and work out at the same time / sometimes together

Then we have evenings free for other stuff

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:45

I've already done spin and weight training today and I'm just about to go do crossfit.

But I wouldn't say it's normal to do a spin class, weigh training & crossfit in one day?

puppacup · 09/02/2023 18:43

This is what I don't understand about people who say they go to the gym/hobby 5+ times a week. if your partner does the same how do you have time together & with friends.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 09/02/2023 18:39

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 09/02/2023 18:17

Well I don't know anyone who goes that often, the people I know who go to the gym go about once a week or twice a week.

So because you don't know them, they don't exist and anyone who says otherwise is having an affair? Grin

Wishimaywishimight · 09/02/2023 18:39

OP, I too would be annoyed if he's never home before 7.30. Who makes dinner every night? If he cooks when he gets home it could be 8.30 before you eat. I'm sure lots of people ate fine with this but I don't like eating late.

Wishimaywishimight · 09/02/2023 18:36

This has become a thread full of posters just dying to say they go to the gym 15 times a week have 18 other hobbies and work 2 jobs 😁

ShandaLear · 09/02/2023 18:22

I would find someone telling me I can’t go to the gym because I have to clean out my drawers very odd. Are you his mum? Maybe he likes his crap in his drawers.

Missedvocation · 09/02/2023 18:20

All these people saying ‘don’t have kids with this person’ - I agree. Because he’ll end up with a possessive mother for a partner!
what on earth is wrong with going to the gym? Who on earth eats before 1930? You are adults right??

Eyerollcentral · 09/02/2023 18:19

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 09/02/2023 18:17

Well I don't know anyone who goes that often, the people I know who go to the gym go about once a week or twice a week.

Most people I know who go to the gym go every work day before, at lunch or after. It’s extremely common

ShirleyPhallus · 09/02/2023 18:19

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 09/02/2023 18:17

Well I don't know anyone who goes that often, the people I know who go to the gym go about once a week or twice a week.

I workout 5 times a week. What’s the point in going once? What a waste of money!

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 09/02/2023 18:17

Well I don't know anyone who goes that often, the people I know who go to the gym go about once a week or twice a week.

jtaeapa · 09/02/2023 18:12

Either he is having an affair or he is quite simply obsessed with himself and his pursuits. Nothing in it for you either way - I would get rid now before you have kids.

fluffi · 09/02/2023 18:08

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 09/02/2023 16:55

Sounds like he's having an affair if he is spending that much time away from you. NO ONE, not even gym junkies go that many times. Plus weekend of golf? I'd be asking who she is.

😂😂😂
4-5 times a week is nothing!

I go 6 days a week most of the time (sometimes everyday) and then do extra sports / active activities at weekends during the day. And work full time.

Most of my gym buddies are similar to me, 5 days is the minimum / easy week of training and they work and have families, it’s very doable! 💪

ComfortablyDazed · 09/02/2023 18:05

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