Friend wants to stay on our couch for 3/4 weeks

They asked our friend group for lifts to the hospital and I’ve said I can only do it on weekends (their appointments will be on weekdays most likely) but to let me know if they need any help at all on evenings and weekends.

Given his (& his g/f's!) response to you over the party friend's nastiness, how was it that you were STILL, 2 months later, pandering to this selfish tosser? Especially when they have been ignoring you since the party?

Do you know the nasty friend's name? If so - message back saying "I'm not going to accommodate this as you are being too sensitive, but I'm sure your good friend Kevin can help you."

If you can't manage that "We're not close enough friends to offer this, you haven't responded to my messages since your friend insulted me 2 months ago."

You don't have a friend problem, because this man is not your friend.
You have an assertiveness problem. You did well standing up for yourself about not wanting to encounter party friend again, but when user friend told you he was not going to respect your boundary - THAT was the time to realise how little value he puts on you, or your feelings, & stop chasing him for replies that didn't come.
So tell him NO, then order this -
www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Your-Own-Right-Communication/dp/0715654543

@Feliciacat Please say no - it won't just be him freeloading it will be the girlfriend too and it will probably turn into longer than the 3-4 weeks as he will have his own personal butler.

Had he offered any contribution i.e. paying rent, for food, gas or electricity or did he expect you to subsidise him to.

He is not a friend you are just there when it is for his convenience.

Hes a massive CF. The type of person who will take take take and give nothing back, ever.

I broke my ankle and had a cast on for 7 weeks. I shuffled upstairs on my backside, and shuffled back down again. Simple. I didn't need to camp on anyone's couch. Block him and walk away

Well done, OP. Don't let him guilt trip you into changing your mind.

From personal experience, I can tell you that the first 'No' when you'd usually say 'Yes' is the hardest one, but it does get easier!

So a user AND manipulative?

TBH, I thought 'no' just reading the title of your thread, by the time I'd read just half of your OP it was 'fuck ,no!'.

"I felt so under pressure as they kind of portray themselves as really unfortunate people so I feel terrible saying no."
You're half-way there. You realise at some level that it is a portrayal, an exaggeration, a play for sympathy (which they then use to manipulate good people like yourself).

"He does have a family that he doesn’t get on with and his girlfriend’s family that they do get on with. Hopefully they can help."
Good chance that his family said no to ridiculous requests and he's in a huff. His girlfriend's family will learn to say no too, in time . But they're not your responsibility, just like he isn't.

Well done for saying no to him. With luck they'll go in a huff with you and you'll never have to deal with this selfish self-absorbed pair of chancers ever again.

Well done on that message you sent! This is the first step to better self esteem…if he ghosts you, although that can be hurtful for you, you know the rubbish took itself out!

This guy said he was my family and that he’d always be there for me. So I feel like I’m ditching a family member.

He’s a manipulative arse and sounds like someone who is really quite unpleasant and happy to take whatever he can get from others.

Having a disability doesn’t give him license to use people.

But he wasn’t there for you was he? When his friend was nasty to you, and that was nasty, he wouldn’t call him out in his behaviour, wouldn’t keep you apart and his GF compared you to a bitchy school girl!

I would reply No you can’t use our sofa, that wouldn’t work for us. And then block him. You don’t need people like him in your life, he doesn’t bring anything to the table, he uses you and he doesn’t have your back. Get rid of him.

I was going to say yes, let him stay, until I read the backstory. They do sound like users. Let his partner help him out.

You sound like a lovely person and you deserve friends who appreciate that and treat you with the same kindness. Remember that going forward. I’m really glad you have found the courage to say no and if that is the end of the friendship, so be it. A true friend, well they wouldn’t ask in the first place but still, accepts a “no” with good grace. They don’t try and manipulate you or bulldoze you into getting what they want.

Or watch her wise up and realise what a l(user) he is.

OP

Please say strong; this person obviously has no shame; anyone else would find a way to manage.

Tell him no way and take great delight in his girlfriend having to empty his commode.

OP why are you friends with this person? Just ewwww

Yanbu to say no. It’s better for him to get a commode and stay in his own flat. His partner can look after him. Tbh from what you’ve said I don’t think this friend is much of a friend and maybe this is a good time to start creating distance?

So glad you said no!

He wasn’t just looking for a couch to sleep on, he wanted you to wait on him hand and foot for a month.

And I bet his girlfriend would have wanted to stay over too, on weekends etc

Well done.

Enjoy that sense of relief you will have today :)

😂

Let his girlfriend help him, he can buy a commode. Delete and block his number and find a better friend, he sounds like a horrible person.

I'm so glad you are saying no and staying strong. He's not someone you need in your life. There are options for him through occupational therapy etc that will assist him with adaptations for his home. He's just a lazy shit who wants you to wipe his arse and be a maid. Know your worth ✨️ and keep strong 💪 x

You being scared of what his response is likely to be says everything about this friendship, which validates your reasons for saying no.

You sound lovely OP, I want to stay on your sofa! Those comments you had about having kids, I had that in the past, and it’s really hurtful 😢 YADNBU

He said that because it suits him.
If he has a disability, claims a disability benefit, his GP can refer to an Occupational Therapist who’ll visit and provide equipment needed to help him.

Fuck no.

Anyone that claims to be your family, particularly when you don’t feel overly close to them, are waving massive boundary crossing red flags. People that aren’t family who claim to be are usually trying to force an obligation on someone, so you feel obliged to care for him despite having very few ties to him. Do not let him stay, your life will be miserable and it’s likely he’ll find excuse after excuse to prolong his stay.

Well done with the message