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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex taking the kids away

66 replies

Starsandsky23 · 13/01/2023 22:53

so my ex sees the kids once a week. 5 and 3 year old.
That’s 52 times a year. Add on 15-20 days for when he’s taking them more.

So I’m obviously the full time parent. I’ve tried my absolute hardest for him to have the kids more to no avail.

he’s a good dad ‘when’ he has them.
he’s in another relationship (just over a year) I like the new girlfriend. She’s good with my kids that’s all I want.
anyway my ex has asked to take the kids to Lapland. I’ve said no. I want to be the one to experience it with the children first.
If he had the children more and didn’t just play ‘fun dad’ for 24 hours then I wouldn’t mind. Why should he have that glory?! AIBU

OP posts:
atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 11:17

Wiluli · 14/01/2023 11:12

You are being selfish imo because unless you have now booked Lapland the. It means your kids will go without an experience because you want to compete with him . It’s petty

Shes booked already aparantly

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 11:16

WandaWonder · 14/01/2023 11:14

So they miss out because you have a general idea you want to take them?

What is best for the children?

No turns out she's actually booked it!

Workawayxx · 14/01/2023 11:16

Yabu to deny your children a holiday and fun experience with their dad. Yanbu to have an issue with him booking the exact same trip a week before you. Does he know about your trip and does he have a history of trying to point score in this way?

if possible, I’d transfer your booking to something else at a different time eg Disneyland Paris in the spring?

Lovemylittlebear · 14/01/2023 11:16

Take them to Disney? That is something special to look forward to and the kids get Two mega holidays x

WandaWonder · 14/01/2023 11:14

So they miss out because you have a general idea you want to take them?

What is best for the children?

saraclara · 14/01/2023 11:12

Who booked first?

BabyFour2023 · 14/01/2023 11:12

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 11:10

Massive drip feed.

Yes say you've already booked a trip to lapland so you'll save him some money and is there anywhere else he can think of?

Show quote history

It’s at least 5-6k for 4 people for 3 nights … could take them to lots of other places.

Wiluli · 14/01/2023 11:12

You are being selfish imo because unless you have now booked Lapland the. It means your kids will go without an experience because you want to compete with him . It’s petty

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 11:11

BabyFour2023 · 14/01/2023 11:03

And 4 flights in 10 days for young children after 2/3 days in a freezing cold place

Show quote history

Yes I mean one of you has to realise how ridiculous this is for the kids. Can you cancel yours and save the money?

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 11:10

Starsandsky23 · 14/01/2023 00:22

Yes I’m taking them but it will be the weekend after. Sorry I should have added that.
It annoys me how he doesn’t pay maintenance, has them 24 hours a week but will still experience this first.

Massive drip feed.

Yes say you've already booked a trip to lapland so you'll save him some money and is there anywhere else he can think of?

Rainbowqueeen · 14/01/2023 11:09

Claim cms
cancel your booking to Lapland and do something else fun with the dc
while they are with their dad, do something fun for you

GlassBunion · 14/01/2023 11:05

This just sounds like point scoring.

coodawoodashooda · 14/01/2023 11:04

babytum · 13/01/2023 23:09

That is a really childish reason to deprive your children of a holiday. Wise up

This. And I'm a single parent too.

BabyFour2023 · 14/01/2023 11:03

LlynTegid · 14/01/2023 10:50

If you have booked and paid for it, two weekends away in succession to the same place is not a good idea.

If you have not, then you are being reasonable.

And 4 flights in 10 days for young children after 2/3 days in a freezing cold place

x2boys · 14/01/2023 10:54

This is odd ,you have both booked to go to Lapland a week.apart ,how what are the chances 🤔

LlynTegid · 14/01/2023 10:51

unreasonable

LlynTegid · 14/01/2023 10:50

If you have booked and paid for it, two weekends away in succession to the same place is not a good idea.

If you have not, then you are being reasonable.

countvoncount · 14/01/2023 10:47

Absolute bollocks, no way have you already booked the weekend after!!
Pull the other one. Let the kids go.

BabyFour2023 · 14/01/2023 10:46

Seems very convenient you’ve now booked for the weekend after.

let them go with their dad. It’s not about you having “the glory” it’s for the kids.Is school in between? They will probably be tired with 4 flights in 10 days.

Ineverwannabelikeyou · 14/01/2023 10:44

You've already booked it? Seems convenient!

I would try and change it for something else, so they get to do two nice things. Don't be selfish, this isn't about you.

cestlavielife · 14/01/2023 10:38

How bizarre
So you booked
Then he did?
Anyway the kids will not even remember the trip .
Move yours to next year when they both older and will appreciate it more
What else is on your "me first" list?

Deathbyfluffy · 14/01/2023 01:10

Stop drop feeding - there’s nothing more annoying than half a story then the post being updated which changes everything.

Also, you are being unreasonable and petty. Focus less on your feelings of his ‘contributions’ and more on the kids.

Testina · 14/01/2023 01:06

@Starsandsky23 “Yes I’m taking them but it will be the weekend after. Sorry I should have added that.”

Yeah, you should - it’s a very different situation. It’s really odd not to have said though!

You can’t stop him, so I would look on the bright side… they are going to be so excited knowing what they’re going back to, that they’ll probably enjoy the second trip even more! You can spend the whole week with them filling you in on the best bits.

Why isn’t he paying maintenance?

BabyOnBoard90 · 14/01/2023 01:06

Sounds petty. Put the children above your ego

giggly · 14/01/2023 01:04

so you have both booked to go to Lapland a week apart?