I’m 45 and due to do this next week

You have a little girl just now so another baby would fit in with that stage in your life, it's not as though your other child is a grown up. At 45 with a frozen embryo from when you were 39 is, in my opinion fine. In your shoes i would go for it.

Do it, you’ll regret it if you don’t. (My personal feelings).

I had twins with my first embryo, second one didn’t take. Utterly blessed and happy with life, never considered not using the second embryo though.

good luck 💐

My brother is 7 yrs older than me and while we have had phases of life when we were fairly distant, we are very close now (I am similar age to you). Our shared history and close sibling relationship, while we navigate our new landscape of having elderly parents in poor health, is very precious and of great significance to me on both a practical and emotional level. His support and understanding is invaluable to me; no one else could share this with me in quite the same way.

While it may not always work out that way (of course siblings can fall out terribly or never get along in the first place sometimes), as one of two and having two children myself, my experience is that on balance, a sibling is one of life’s great gifts. I feel that if you are healthy and wish to try, then you should try for this second child. If the process fails, you may yet find you are at peace with the outcome precisely because you did try.

All that said, my DH is an only child and was and is very happy to be so and would not have wished for a sibling! He has no sense of having missed out on anything then or now.

I just thought I would offer one perspective. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do.

At 45, I wouldn't.

The newborn bit is tough enough, but teenagers? Who wants that shit when you're in your 60s....

I'd take what I'd got and feel very blessed for it.

This 100%

I had DD at just 41 and DS at 48 (donor eggs, not a minor miracle).

The age gap between them isn't ideal, but i think that is more down to them rubbing each other up the wrong way - friends with similar age gaps between children report lovely relationships, though finding activities to appeal to both ages is definitely hard sometimes.

I suspect if I could have, I would have had them younger, but I haven't felt noticeably tireder than younger friends seem to be. In my case, I am overweight and lack exercise, and think that is my main issue.

That said, no two children are the same and DS is much more of a challenge and higher energy than DD was, so bear in mind, you may have a child you don't expect!

Even so, I wouldn't change them for the world.

If you would like another child and are healthy then go for it, otherwise you will always be wondering what if....
45 is an older parent but that more common now, a child will ( hopefully!) keep you young!
Although I'm 51 and just starting to get aches and pains( knees are shot!) So I think physically it maybe a bit harder but emotionally it's probably easier as you're more mature .
I have friends who had DC that age and they coped fine.
How old is your partner?

Try it and see what happens. If you don't, you'll always wonder....

You chose not to do this at any point over the last 6 years (when you would have been younger). Why was this and do those reasons still hold true (not expecting you to share your reasons here, just reflect on them)? Feeling it's your last chance, is not a good reason to have a child.

Hard decision but it’s only your age and related factors that’s the issue, not so much the embryo as you were younger and age gap is fine.

I say go for it with view it may not work

As long as outcome would make you happy if it did work of course

My dd desperately wanted a sibling when she was little. She’s 14 and has worked out the financial benefit of being an only. I ensured she socialised as much as possible from very small.

It is your body, your choice. I wasn’t well enough to use my remaining embryos and pregnancy was very hard on me. I would love to have had more and if I had been well enough, I definitely would have tried for another.

In your situation I would do it. For many reasons.

Sounds like you'll regret it if you don't try. Best wishes!

I think if you’ve got one embryo left and you’re in the thick of raising a young child anyway, you’ve got nothing to lose by giving it a try!

It’s irrelevant what other people would do. They’re not you.

Fast forward to 55. Would you regret not trying one last time?

If you want another child and you are prepared (sounds like you are) to accept things if it doesn’t work go for it. At least you know you have tried. How does your partner feel are they supportive and in agreement?

Would I have wanted a baby at 45? No way, however my circumstances were very different aged 45. I have my two children very close together, 21 mths gap, I didn’t want a big gap between them. I would be considering the pregnancy, sleepless nights & having to do the school run etc. nappies, weaning & all that again. Only you know whether you are up for that possibility.

Good luck and wishing you all the best

That’s a fair point you make. My mother is in her mid-60s now. Widowed. Needs more TLC now than she did a few years back. She’s still active and well but things aren’t straightforward. I’ve barely got the emotional bandwidth now. If she had me 15 years later than she did (so at 45) then I’d be 19 now rather than 34, and I can’t imagine how complex it would be to be, say, a student dealing with supporting a bereaved parent the way I am.

Yes, everyone is different. But, without wanting to derail the thread, my siblings really have made my life significantly worse, not better.

I would really think twice about having a fifteen year old when I was sixty.

i had my last at almost 45 - definitely not too old!

I had mixed feelings about my younger siblings when we were little (all close in age) but sadly, the more time has passed, the worse all of the relationships have become (we are all late 30s- early 40s now).

Personally I think 45 is too old. I was in good health at that age. Fast forward a few years and there's no way I could do justice to bringing up a small child. At 45 I could not have envisaged the effects of menopause and arthritis.
Enjoy the child you've got.