I’m 45 and due to do this next week

Apologies, you answered my question about your partner while I was composing my long post.

I don’t think your age is so great as to be a factor. I think late babies can keep you young. Our adopted teenager gave us a new lease of life, in a way, we’ll probably never get to go on a cruise tho. You want to try and are realistic about the outcome, as long as your Dh is onside, give it a go.

If it helps, DD is now just about to turn 9 and is a happy, sociable only child. I feel a bit of pressure to entertain her when she says she’s bored, because she has no one else to play with, but absolutely no regrets here

If you are both fit and healthy and your husband supports your decision, then go for it.

As you say, it may not work, but you want another child, you have one shot, why waste that chance?

Same age as you and personally I wouldn't want a baby next year, but it's your body / family / finances at play not mine!

Can I ask why you have waited 6 years? Have you had other frozen transfers in between which have failed?
Also, do you have a partner? If yes, what does he think?

My DS was born via IVF when I was just turned 43. I’m 49 now, he’s 6 and I don’t feel massively like an old woman. But perhaps those 2 years between 43 and 45 are quite significant- I must admit that it might have been psychologically a bit weird to have had a child only starting Reception as I turned 50, whereas you can sort of fudge being “in your forties”.

We did not have any embryos to freeze. I am fairly sure that I would have given it a whirl at 45 if I had had one, but (like you) I had no interest in donor eggs and I might also have been secretly relived if it had not worked. I am now very content with DS as an only and the way that our lives are shaping up-it’s the perfect balance for us. But that’s easy for me to say when I had no option really.

A friend of mine used a frozen embryo and very sadly her daughter was born with a genetic disorder that will require lifelong care. (Nothing to do with her being IVF or frozen, and not detectable in advance, just one of those things). But it’s a stark reminder to me that every new child is a roll of the dice and sometimes sticking with what you have is not such a bad idea. Same goes for the risks to you of another pregnancy.

You need to weigh up the pros and cons of a 2 child family unit (forget about the age factor, you are already in your forties with a young child, this would not change things that massively). Weigh up the pros and cons and balance those against the risk and unknown factors. Good luck deciding, I think it would be hard to not try, but you might be relieved if it fails.

The risk of genetic medical problems are associated with the egg, not the mother's current age. The embryo was created from an egg from the op when she was 39, so the risks are the same as they were for her now four year old.

The op's own age could increase the risk to her, and the risk of miscarriage, but not the risk of her child having chromosome abnormalities.

Hi @Lifejustfliesbydoesntit go for it!! I'm 41 yrs old and have a 3 month old, i would love to have another baby and would defo take up the opportunity x
All the best xx

OP, I had DS at 45. I cope fine (he's now 14) but I only have one child, and I work hard to stay fit and strong enough. I split from ds' dad when DS was 3 so I do everything and it works but I'm not sure I could cope with two by myself.

Do you have a partner to share the load?

I wouldn't as personally I wouldn't want to be supporting a child at university when I was 65, 66, 67. Selfishly, its not part of my plan - financially or physically. But ultimately, its whether you feel you want to or not.

I’d do it if you wanted too and wouldn’t use age as the deciding factor. My DH’s mum was 44 when she had him and is the most wonderful mother and grandmother.

I've just turned 40 and I can't think of anything I'd want less than pregnancy and then the sleepless nights of a newborn. But I have three kids of my own who are almost 14 and 11, so that's easy for me to say.

Under your circumstances, I think I'd probably give it another go. Otherwise I'd always wonder.

Good luck whatever you decide.

I'm 45 and don't have the energy for a baby, however I'm pretty sure that's because I'm knackered from raising my existing DC who are tricky almost-adults.

In your shoes I would definitely go for it, good luck x

You do also need to consider the increased risk of the child having medical problems at that age. Could you cope with a child with Additional Support Needs as you get older?

Yeah, I’d probably do this too.

Such a tricky decision OP, I really feel for you. I had my last (the 4th) at 39 and I definitely didn’t have the energy I had with my eldest. I’m now 47 and find my sister’s toddler absolutely exhausting!

However if you decide to go ahead, I have a couple of friends who have kids with a 4-5 year age gap, and they are happy well adjusted children.

I'd go for it, Good luck whatever you decide

If you don't try will you always wish you had tried?
I think it's a lot of hope-raising and hope-dashing to put yourself through.

A lot of people with one child think things will be twice as good with two children. My second child is on the autistic spectrum and everything changed. Motherhood became a lot harder.

I would. It sounds like if by chance this did result in a pregnancy, it would be a much wanted child

I would not. I am 46 and my youngest is 8. Not a chance I would go back to the baby days now I am getting my life back. Also I have elderly parents and I am just hoping my kids will be a but more independent before my dp need support. I do have 2 dc though so depends how strongly you feel about a second child. I have several friends with 1dc and think there are many advantages to it.

I am an IVF mum, and had 2 frozen embryos left at 39 after 5 failed rounds. Put them both in and I have twins! It can work of course, and if you are ready then why not :) Good luck !

In pretty much the same circumstances, I did go for it, but it was unsuccessful. Looking back from a few years down the line, I realise that I only did it for DD, so she would have a sibling, not because I really wanted a second child. I would probably have regretted it if I hadn’t tried, but I think it worked out for the best.