Midwifery - a dream turned into a nightmare

Interesting to read your post as I did a degree in business and since having children have been daydreaming about retraining as a midwife.

I cannot comment on life as a midwife but only as a woman who has had several midwives care. I was very very appreciative of the majority of these women and am in awe of them. You are amazing. I hope women like you do not give up as you can be the difference between a positive and negative birth experience

I felt exactly how you feel a few months ago. I felt like a hamster running on a wheel that I couldn’t get off. Absolutely invisible, run into the ground working shifts with small children at home and a toxic atmosphere at work with midwives competing over who can interpret CTGs the best. Just awful.

I’ve moved into community and can’t believe the change to my life. The pay cut is significant but I’ve decided it was time to prioritise family and my mental health over money. I work three short days a week, spend meaningful time with women and have some autonomy over my workload. There’s still responsibility but I’m not working with difficult characters and I don’t feel like I’m having to prove myself. I’d recommend that or moving to a different trust. The people you work with really do have such an impact on how you feel going into work.

I hear you. I'm 16 years in and have not enjoyed it, and at times despised it. I battle onwards because it is all I know and I have a mortgage to pay and kids to pay for.
My only saving grace was 3 years ago moving to community near my home. It has saved me. It isn't perfect. But is much closer to the job satisfaction I wanted. I am still youngish, and I honestly don't know what I'd do if I was pulled in to the unit now. I'd go off sick I think. Maybe do health visiting - although that isn't something I think I'd want to do either.
Maybe in a few years when the kids have flown the nest I might be able to consider other things.
But no, you aren't alone. And most colleagues are nice, but the few awful ones make your day shit. So everything feels shit.

I'm so sorry this is your experience of midwifery. I qualified ten years ago and I do think it is so much harder now, and for those of you who have trained through Covid it has been immensely difficult- please be very proud of yourself that you have achieved this.

As others have said, could you consider community or antenatal clinic? Or a change of Trust?

Otherwise is there further study you could do to specialise, e.g. school nursing (which would be great for organising childcare) or health visiting. I did a Masters which enabled me to get into a specialised band 7 role which offered much better work satisfaction.

There are other jobs with transferable skills (I know people who have moved to medical sales, phlebotomy for example) you could look at and then maybe top up with bank shifts to keep your registration. A lot of midwives I know who do bank only say it feels very different being there on shift because you have chosen to although I appreciate you will need the security of a contract job.

Retired midwife here and I hear you. Loud and clear.

Regarding the paperwork and admin unfortunately you won’t change this. I would focus on making each and every encounter you have with the women you are caring for as meaningful and individual as you possibly can.

As soon as my DC were school age I moved into antenatal care and adored it. I did eventually carve a role in a specialist field where I made a difference every day and knew all of my women. If this sort of role progression is even remotely possible for you I would play the long game and do something similar. Child protection and safeguarding are very rewarding.

Equally, with your experience perhaps you’d enjoy the challenge of management. Although my brief encounter with that was even more should crushing than a bad day on the shop floor!

Thank you for what you do. The NHS needs more of people like you.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. However you feel and I get that you feel like a number - please do remember that most of the new mums hugely value you. I was a student nurse in the late 80s and ironically the only clinical settings I really enjoyed were midwifery and mental health.

A short reply to say...I hear you.

Same situation here. Maternity is now a thoroughly depressing place to work in. Currently wrangling a small child on soft play but will come back to this thread to commiserate.

Could you retrain as a HV maybe? A friend of ours did this ,she was much happier .I think maybe a year or so at Uni/college.The hours are better too!

Aww OP I feel so sad for you! I’m not a midwife so no advice or experience to share, but just want to say I have never felt as impressed by seeing anyone doing their job as I have by seeing midwives do theirs. I am just in awe of everything you know and can do! I hope you can find love for it (maybe at a different trust?) because what you are doing is so unbelievably worthy!

I qualified 10 years ago but never actually practiced. I'm now in a completely different profession. Of the cohort I graduated with, the ones who are still there are in the minority. Even then it was horrific and as a student I often drove to work crying. Reading your post really triggered my anxiety and I'm so sorry for all of you midwives in this position. There's no solution at the moment I don't think. Very sad and worrying.

I was a mental health nurse for many years and you are right about how badly the NHS,is managed
What about being a midwife in a private hospital?

Community? My daughter loves it. She's ten years in.

I'm so sorry. I saw many midwives through my pregnancies and whilst I can't remember everyone I met, I know I was so grateful to have the time to talk to a professional about my concerns. I was so grateful to be checked, to be referred, to be scanned, to check my BP. It all needed doing and it needed doing so often. Without that constant vigilance my babies might not be here, and likely I wouldn't either. For those "regular" appointments when everything was fine, it was necessary comparison for the times when my obs weren't fine.

Thank you

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.
I qualified in 2017 and can relate to some, but not all of what you’re saying. Staffing and pressures make it a challenging to do the job, I agree. I will say though I haven’t experienced the rude and unsupportive colleagues as you have. My colleagues are by and large brilliant, we prop each other up and keep one another going through tough shifts. would you consider changing trusts and seeing if this makes a difference?
if you’ve lost your love for the profession so early in, maybe it isn’t the career for you. I mean that in the kindest way possible- many people find that the realities of the job once qualified don’t match up with their expectations from before they started training. What type of unit do you work in now? Perhaps consider moving to a low risk birth centre, or community midwifery? This may give you a new lease of life and you may find it more enjoyable that working in a high risk setting.

It’s a job with huge responsibilities and major consequences for mistakes, and mistakes are more likely to be made when you feel over-worked and unsupported. A change of workplace might help? Community, for example? It would be a shame to lose you - a precious resource - so soon after qualifying.