Midwifery - a dream turned into a nightmare

I hear you, after waiting 19 years , I achieved my dream of training in midwifery. I loved it, the simple joy of attending women bringing life into the world, and as you say you do 99.9 things perfectly and the 0.01 % is focused on, well guess what? None of us are perfect it's not with woman anymore it's with computer, with clique, no equality and diversity, I ended up leaving, after systematically being bukkied for 5 of tge hardest years on my life,major surgery, losing both parents and a sister, I couldn't fight them anymore, where I worked, the scum rises to.the top, the inpatient matron was prosecuted for fraud, yet retained her job, my manager at the time I left had openly canvassed for information against me, it was a shambles, I retaliated by not getting involved and ignoring the process and I'm 100 x happier now, but I miss the women, and the strength they showed in labour x

I'm 8 months pregnant with a high risk pregnancy, this thread is scary 😧 All my midwives have been amazing though and I have seen a lot

I'd move abroad personally

They'll bite your hand off

Ex midwife here. I preferred the community but it wasn’t quite the promised land I imagined. The child protection side of things is hard and you are far away from help if things aren’t going well. I was so relieved to give it up although I have a lot of fond memories too.

Wait it out, when it is privatised there might be better opportunities. (Haven’t read whole thread as Nhs person prepping for a night shift!)

No, this is healthcare. It only gets worse.. I've worked under the tories, new labour and the tories again. It's only ever got worse.

The ones who can stick it out past 40 are tough. When dh was in hospital most nurses were either young or in their 50's and this is why.

You'll never get anything done in a country with such poor standards of health in the biggest socio-economic group. It's like sainsburys saying the milk is all free from now on, they'd run out and never manage to re-stock in without putting enormous pressure on their supply chain which would struggle and raise prices where it could get away with it. The staff would be stressed and want out.

We've been sticking our finger in the dyke for years but the water level is rising.

Practicing nurse feeling mega despondent after a frankly horrific shift last night. No matter how hard I try I can never get everything done and get it all right. I hear you and I’m sorry xx

I qualified as a midwife in 2017 and to be entirely honest, I hate it. To be more precise, I love what the job should be. However I would say I am more of an obstetric nurse, not what I trained for. I’m sad how we’re treated. I’m sad how the women get treated and im sad at the lack of the lack of support from management. I don’t have the time, money or psychological effort to retrain for another career. And it was such a hard degree that I don’t want to waste it. I almost feel compelled to stay! It’s shattered my self esteem and my physical health has severely declined. I would love to know a change was coming! Sorry to moan

Look in to research (NIHR) or project work with your trust or icb. Both work work well with your background and would give you something positive to work towards

Totally get it. I worked for a year after qualifying before I had to get out for the sake of my mental
health. I went into HV, and whilst problems such as short staffing still exist, everyone is much more friendly and supportive, and I no longer cry driving into work.

I’m a midwife I’ve been qualified four years. I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Those first two years can pretty awful. At my last trust I actually felt suicidal. I wish a bus would take me out on my way to work. It had a massive impact on my home life too.
ive since moved trusts and I can say quite happily that I love my job. It’s a great atmosphere. Lovely staff and it’s a positive place to work. Yes the documentation is still the same and there are emergencies etc but I feel well supported. I feel like I’m cared for and respected.
why don’t you change trusts and see how you feel ? Are you on the beyond midwifery Facebook group ? It helps you feel less alone.

I gave birth in March and had a somewhat difficult experience, and a few of the midwives really made a difference. I felt like I wasn't alone and being looked after. I'm sorry you feel this way, but people like me need you, love you and appreciate everything you do ❤️

I also hear you. I'm 10 years qualified and quickly went down the specialist midwife route. I now bank and find it very stressful but still love it, especially as I pick and choose my shifts. Can you look at other options- lecturing, specialising, setting up your own business, HV? I know you are newly qualified so might be too early but having a plan to work towards might help.
Or can you drop any hours?

It saddens me so much that we are losing amazing midwives because the conditions are just unworkable.

I hear you. I'm a homebirth midwife now which suits me down to the ground. I actually worked in a super supportive unit before and miss the camaraderie of the place but I do NOT miss the busy understaffed shifts etc etc. But the other staff members and the meaningful interactions with the women and families made my time there bearable and even enjoyable. I do wonder if a change of unit may help you although I know it's rare to find a genuinely supportive workplace in midwifery. Or specialising, or going into community. Alternatively have a look at the Beyond Midwifery UK Facebook group for other ideas. But mainly - we hear you, it sucks, I'm sorry x

I can remember the midwives who were with me when I gave birth to all three children, the eldest of whom is 18. I hope I said thank you to them, I think I did. I was very grateful for their presence and support. I am sorry you feel undervalued and under appreciated in your job and I am sorry your colleagues are equally under pressure.

Community midwives were so much better than hospital ones in my experience as a patient. Presumably as they had a better working experience and were far more autonomous.

Just wanted to say thank you for what you do, OP. And I'm sorry if you delivered one of my babies and I didn't say thank you. I was just so overwhelmed, knackered and grateful to have them out that I don't think I said much at all!

Have you thought about changing departments or trusts? I felt like that when I worked on postnatal ward, but now I am core staff on labour ward and I absolutely love it. It’s hard, tiring and staff shortages/lack of equipment is challenging, but my team is amazing and supportive, and the work itself is so interesting and rewarding. Maybe where you are just isn’t the right fit for you?

Plenty of opportunities outside of ward work, I'd recommend considering some if you don't hate nursing but hate the state of hospitals currently. I work term time with a lot of flexibility.

Op I'm so sorry to read this. I was in hospital for 5 days when I had my DS as I had a post dural puncture headache. The midwives and nurses were amazing! I made sure I told them everyday that their kindness and care made a terrible situation more bearable. One of the midwives welled up with tears when I was praising her and she said it was good to hear as they often were told the opposite. I felt so very sad for her. It was a reminder to me to tell people when they are doing a good job. I will be writing to the trust to highlight my positive experience.

I'm the same except I'm a nurse. Currently on mat leave but the thought of going back gives me dreadful anxiety. I work in an extremely busy ward and the staffing has been horrendous (constant cries via messages in the group chat if can anyone come in to help). Our work place most of the time is working with 4 trained during the day when it should be at least 8. Our nightshift staffing is even worse.

I hated the feeling of when I was leaving after a 12 hour shift and had that constant worry that I may have missed something because I've been given more patients than I should normally have to look. Between the constant pressure from the bed manager to try get patients a b c moved into another ward to accommodate sicker patients being brought in, looking after end of life patients, looking after people with high news scores who should be moved into HDU but can't be as there's not enough beds so you've to manage it in your ward on top of your many other patients.

I'm now trying to look into other careers so I have an exit plan as I don't think I can sustain working in my job without it having a massive impact on my mental health.

I do hope it gets better for you OP ❤️

Healthcare hasn't always been like this, I mean it's never been perfect and there have always been issues, but it's unrecognisable now. Sad thing is no idea whether and/or when things will get better. Now you have your degree though there are other roles within healthcare you could consider, or outside of healthcare and you could always go back in the future.

Would you consider going into the community?
Im a nurse not a midwife, but sometimes it feels like the community is the “promised land”- less stressful than hospital and better work life balance. Maybe something to consider?

I'm so sorry to hear this. I honestly couldn't have asked for better care for myself and my son during pre-eclampsia, having a 6 week premature baby in neonatal ward during covid and health visitor appointments. Most of the team we had were retired midwives who had come back part time. I thank my lucky stars for every one of them, thank you for all that you do and I hope things improve

Interesting how many of us feel community has saved our careers. Working alone for the majority of the time is far preferable than the toxic environment in the unit it feels.
I'm sat having my lunch as I write this, having done my clinic this morning with women who know me. We've caught up on Christmas events, and general chit chat as the morning has progressed. I now have 3 postnatal home visits to do this afternoon, again, all my women. Lovely continuity. I feel valued. And I think that is what makes the difference. I feel like I'm helping. In the hospital I felt like, well, I don't even know. I can't describe it! But it wasn't rewarding that is all I know.