To not understand why people turn off read receipts on WhatsApp

"But in that case, wouldn't the onus be on the late person to check their phone because they are the one who needs the info? And if they don't receive the message then it's on them to call or text you to follow up."

Yes, but the blue ticks avoid all that.

In that situation I'd just call. If you need an immediate or close to immediate response, then messaging isn't the way to get it.

I find it briefly annoying when people don't respond quickly to messages, but then I give myself a shake. I'm retired and live alone so I can respond quickly. Those who don't respondpromptlyly to me have full time jobs and very young children. So I need to recognise that they might have time to quickly read my message, but not the time to put into a response (and might well get distracted and forget). If I need an answer and haven't got a response yet, I wait until I know they're likely to be home and the children in bed, and then I give them a quick (and apologetic) call

How long after a message being read would you expect a response. If it is less than 3 days then maybe this is why they turn it off.

The solution in your situation OP is that the people making arrangements to meet up need to grow up and make arrangements themselves instead of via third party on WhatsApp.

It doesn't have anything to do with read receipts. Your relatives needs to make their own plans.

I can hear how frustrating and annoying this is for you. This person is using you as a pa then discarding you as soon as they have what they need - the state of their WhatsApp read/received is really neither here nor there. It's the fundamental lack of respect in the relationship. But the good news is it is completely fixable! Next time they ask you to organise, simply respond with Aunts contact details and wish them well with the visit. No more stress needed!

I turned them off because a lot of people are too demanding on time & attention these days and get demanding & upset if they don't get an immediate response.

I'll respond when it's convenient for me. A lot of people create an unnecessary sense of urgency that I no interest in.

Also, I used to get the occasional comment of who were you on WhatsApp to at 2am last night or you weren't on WhatsApp at all yesterday what were you doing? Life is too short to be dealing with that rubbish.

Because i don't like them and I'm allowed to turn them off if I want to

Oh dear? 😅

If it's for the recipient's benefit then you make a judgement call don't you? If time is of the essence and/or they're not expecting the message then you call them because the blue ticks aren't actually an indication that the message has been read anyway, only opened (possibly in error). If you are changing the arrangements at short notice then the onus would be on you to contact them properly with a call. If they are late then they should be expecting the communication and the onus is on them to make sure they see the message. If it's not an important message then they'll pick it up and deal with it in their own time. Regardless, people can use their own phones how they like.

But in that case, wouldn't the onus be on the late person to check their phone because they are the one who needs the info? And if they don't receive the message then it's on them to call or text you to follow up. You don't need to baby them by knowing whether they're on their phone or not.

If it's a different scenario where it's the sender who needs to know the message has been received because they need something, then the onus is on them to make contact in another way. It's not on the recipient to use their phone in a way that suits the sender.

"f it's vital that someone receives a piece of information from you then you need to give it face to face or verbally. "

Oh dear. It may not be vital in terms of life and death, but it may be important such as 'we're meeting at y instead of x'.

"If it's not vital then you need to stop feeling so entitled to people's attention or a response on your terms."

The information is often for the other person's own benefit so it's not the person sending the message who's being entitled, is it? If a friend is late and needs to know where we are, I'm letting them know for their own sake, not mine.
The person receiving the message needs to be polite enough to confirm receipt and the easiest way to do this is the blue ticks.

Because you can't just tune them off for individual people it's all or none x

If it's vital that someone receives a piece of information from you then you need to give it face to face or verbally. If it's not vital then you need to stop feeling so entitled to people's attention or a response on your terms.

I do to some extent but if they ask are you free, and I'm in the shower, then need to ask DH his plans or sort out when the car willbe back from MOT or childcare, I'll just wait until I have a definite answer.

My Ds1 has a rocky relationship with his dad. He turned off the blue ticks because he didn’t want that one person to have read receipts / know when he was online, but you can only have the feature on or off, not choose for specific people.

What drama?? 😂

People do it so they're not obliged to reply immediately. You think that's drama? You must be easily amused.

"It's not the blue ticks, it's the fact they haven't replied to your message."

No! I keep telling you that I do not need a reply. I'm not asking a question, I'm giving an update. I don't need an answer to a question I just need to know the person has seen it.

"If they don't reply to your messages and you hate the thought of phoning them you may want to just end the relationship tbh!"

What?? I can't have friends of acquaintances because I don't want to call them!
I'm talking people who have smart phones and who are not over 80. They should be able to use Whatsapp. If I'm with a group of friends and informing the late person where we are, I shouldn't have to move away from the table to start making phone calls FFS.

It's not face to face contact. Just because you like to treat it as a real-time conversation that doesn't mean that others do and it doesn't mean they are rude. This is exactly the kind of entitled attitude that makes people turn read receipts off. You are not entitled to dictate how people use their phones.

@bloodywhitecat I would like to be able to choose who to turn them
off for!!

I have a couple of people that get the hump if I've 'been online' Ad not chatted to them.

just because I've got 30 seconds to read a message, it doesn't mean I've got time to sit & chat.🙄🙄

That's not always possible though - you may be getting into your car, slightly late pushing it a bit, and a message pings though have a quick glance realise it can wait for for x minutes and off you go. Get to wherever you're going/get distracted and then don't reply for a few hours. Alternatively you've just read it/half read it and then someone starts talking to you in person so you talk to them and then get distracted with something else. Just because you've opened it and quickly read it doesn't mean you have the time or it is appropriate to reply straight away.

I do know people who do it because of their own anxiety - they do it to stop themselves obsessing about who has / hasn’t seen a message / how long people take to reply

I hate it and this sounds extreme but it makes me not trust people. I generally don’t have people on WhatsApp who do this. Because it makes me feel weird, I can’t tell whether they have the information I needed to give them, and I feel like they’re game playing.

I'd like to know how to do it actually

I turn off read receipts so that this pain in the ass woman that insists on WhatsApping me does badger me! Maybe you are the pain in the ass woman too!