To not understand why people turn off read receipts on WhatsApp

I don't take what's app seriously

This - if I'm busy at work I may read messages from colleagues/my children if urgent and this shows I'm online etc but won't read any non urgent messages until I get home. Or I may read the message, get distracted with something from work/see it's not urgent and reply when I get chance. Some people over time would then double message asking why I was ignoring and I found it draining tbh and a lack of respect for my personal time etc. so I disabled both features.

I turned mine off because if I didn’t, my ex would then hound me and question why I hadn’t responded. No drama, I just didn’t need that.

Turn on airplane mode, read the message, CLOSE whatsapp (that stage is important), turn airplane mode back on.

I was told that this works, and have done it. I really hope it does, or I might not have got away with it!

My read receipts are on so sometimes I avoid opening messages that I know are going to take more energy to respond to.

Huge assumption there. I don't check my phone once every few hours. Far from it. I got up at 7 this morning, phone was in the bedroom charging, I didn't check it until 5 this evening and only then because I was expecting a specific message about something important.

I don't understand turning off read receipts. Most adults check their phone once every few hours at least, so after about 4-6 hours you'd assume it was 99% likely they'd seen the message anyway, regardless of turning read receipts off.

I think you’re confusing me with the op. I’m not the person thinking a read receipt = confirmation of something

I turn them off.
I now also don’t appear online either (relatively new option in WhatsApp).

People expect immediate responses and they’re not always going to get it.

If you don’t get a response, assume they didn’t read it.

I always respond to dates/times in good time etc. Not sure what others do.

Oh I totally get this. Some people (mum I'm looking at you😂) will watch to see when you've read something, and then hassle for a response. Sometimes I like a bit of time to mull things over, make a decision (if necessary) and formulate my response.

YABVU.

They can’t keep read receipts turned on for you but off for work colleagues / vague acquaintances.

Some people if they see a ‘read receipt’ on their message but don’t get a reply, instantly become offended and get worked up / moany about it. While you I am sure would never dream fo doing that, many people do that, so it’s wise to turn the receipts off.

I’ve got my receipts off because I think it’s an invasion of my privacy to tell everyone in my contacts list when I may or may not be on my phone. Plus sometimes at home I leave wattsapp open and phone unlocked but am not actually seeing the mesaages cos eg I’m off having shower / doing housework and I don’t want wattsapp telling everyone I’ve seen messages that I haven’t actually seen.

If you want ‘firm’ plans then PHONE and actually SPEAK to the person. If you assume plans are firm when you’ve had no answer then you’ll be disappointed very often.

@FatGirlSwim, you're not listening. A read receipt means zero. It could mean that someone has clicked to read an urgent work or other message and had to click away from your message to do so. It could (and often does) mean that someone has briefly checked your message but is at work or on the bus or whatever and has no way to deal with it until later on.

The way to know that someone is doing as you've asked is the same as it ever has been. Wait until you've heard back.

If people are not replying and not replying and end up flaking, you know not to invite them anywhere again or not to make arrangements with them. Fixating on read receipts makes no sense.

You're over-thinking and over-demanding. The tick or lack of it means absolutely nothing. A tick isn't an acceptance or an agreement - it's meaningless. You're sound like the type of person who makes a big deal of it, which is exactly why people have started to disable it.

I’m not entitled to their attention. I’m not demanding a response. I just don’t want to engage in the mind games involved in hiding whether the message has been read or not.

Lots of people don’t do phone calls. Isn’t a phone call more intrusive anyway?

So do I have to communicate on their terms?

I don’t respond immediately - I can go 24 hrs and she’ll keep messaging until I do.

Read receipts are intrusive and one of my biggest hates. For example, I work shifts in a hospital. If I have a message I’ll check it (in case kids school, family emergency etc) but if it’s not urgent I’ll not reply until after I’m home - after 8.30-9pm or perhaps the next morning. Triaging my messages like this is totally reasonable - but some people think it’s not, for no reason other than technology has made people impatient for more info and quicker responses than are necessary. I had to turn them off after being accused of ignoring people whilst simply at work. I’ve also been asked by someone in an accusatory way why they don’t get blue ticks from my messages as if it’s some kind of conspiracy/rudeness.

15-20yr ago you wouldn’t be expected to access or answer a voicemail while not at home…

Some people just like the "drama" of turning off the ticks.
People need to get over themselves.

Actually, I like the PEACE of knowing I can reply to people when I want to. No drama involved. If it’s something small like confirming arrangements then I will respond straight away. But if it’s something that takes a bit of thought and sometimes I don’t really know what to say e.g a friend is telling me her and a her boyfriend have fallen out, then I don’t always want to stop what I’m doing and spend the next hour messaging about that. Particularly if I’m out.

It's not the olden days FFS!

"the blue ticks aren't actually an indication that the message has been read anyway, only opened (possibly in error)"

In my life I can take the blue ticks as meaning the message has been read. Even if it's not 100% accurate, that has never been a problem for me so no, I'm not going to call people even if I get blue ticks.

"If you are changing the arrangements at short notice then the onus would be on you to contact them properly with a call."

No, if place 1 is too busy or whatever, it's not my 'fault' and I don't have to call. Also, there may be a few people involved and I can't be expected to call them all. If the meetup has been organised by WA, people know any changes will be communicated on WA as well.

Some people expect you to reply almost instantaneously. It's not always possible to do that.

In the olden days, you wouldn't just leave a message on someone's answer machine or write them a letter and assume plans were fixed. You would phone them up (or they would reply to the letter). It's probably time to start dialling their number if you want a firm answer.

Some people do care and make a huge song and dance if you don’t reply straight away if they see you’ve blue ticked or have been online. It’s a PITA, tbh.

"In that situation I'd just call."

Why should she? She's doing this person a favour, why should it have to become a much bigger task for her?