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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not understand why people turn off read receipts on WhatsApp

235 replies

Bbq1 · 08/01/2023 11:10

I use WhatsApp to chat with friends and family but more often than not, to make actual plans. A friend and couple of family members have started to turn off read receipts. It's so frustrating because if we make plans via WhatsApp and then say we arrange a time to meet, I just have to assume that they have read the message as it appears unread. I don't get all the secrecy as these are family members and friends. It started with them disabling the last seen feature and has graduated to this. Aibu and I should just assume plans are firm whether I hear back or not?

OP posts:

Original poster

Bbq1 · 08/01/2023 11:21

multiplemum3 · 08/01/2023 11:14

Because its no one else's business if I've read the message or not

I understand that but surely it is someone else's business to know if plans are confirmed? Atm I just have to assume that the arrangements are going ahead. I couldn't care less if or when they actually read the message, but I would like a basic response.

OP posts:

Nimbostratus100 · 08/01/2023 11:21

Once I was arranging a pick up, and there were quite a lot of message to and fro, and the pick up went wrong. WHen we worked out what had happened later, we found that the messages had not arrived in the same order as they were sent, and messages were marked as read, just because messages after them were seen and read.

And that is without all the times I have glanced at a message, decided to read it properly later, and it has been marked as read when all I have n=done is note that it is there.

read receipts can be helpful, but they are never conclusive

YOu cant ever assume a message has been seen unless confirmed by the other person

bloodywhitecat · 08/01/2023 11:21

I only wanted to turn them off for one person because that person uses it to track when I am online and, quite frankly, it is none of their business but it appears to have turned them off for all chats.

Sparklingbrook · 08/01/2023 11:20

People like to keep you guessing, I don't think I know anyone who has done it-and I wouldn't bother, it's useful when you are trying to organise stuff if you are trying to make arrangements that you can see they've read a message.

Nimbostratus100 · 08/01/2023 11:18

I dont think you can assume anything.

Plans are not firm unless the other person confirms, whether you think they have read the message or not. And a read reciept is not proof that they have, anyway

NuffSaidSam · 08/01/2023 11:17

Because sometimes I want to read the message and pretend I haven't! 😱

But, people should respond to a message in a timely manner when it's about plans etc.

Read receipts wouldn't actually help you in that circumstance anyway would they? You'd know they'd read it, but you wouldn't know if they agree to the plans. You need a reply, not a read receipt.

Glitteratitar · 08/01/2023 11:16

girlmom21 · 08/01/2023 11:13

It's because some people (you'll see it all the time on here) get upset when the person they're messaging is online and doesn't instantly read their message or reads their message and don't instantly respond.

People should confirm plans regardless.

This.

I know a couple of people who get pissed off when they’ve seen I’ve read a message and not responded. Apps like WhatsApp mean people expect you to respond right away, and I don’t do that unless there is a need to.

Jellycatspyjamas · 08/01/2023 11:16

As per PP some people get obsessed with whether someone has read their message and not replied immediately, or can see that they’ve been online and not read the message.

Before you know it the person has undermined the whole relationship and started stalking the other person, noting when they’re online and making assumptions about why they’ve not read/replied. I turn it off wherever I can because I can’t be arsed with someone tracking what I’m reading (or not) and assuming my intentions.