To not understand why people turn off read receipts on WhatsApp

I think I can see why people take so long to reply to you.

Totally agree with you, it’s called selfish ! They don’t mind seeing when you’re reading the messages, but when it comes to them they want to control the narrative. It’s people who are hell bent on paranoia and cannot communicate. This is why I don’t text people anymore especially if I know them well, people have become lazy in communication and refuse to have an actual conversation.

I personally cannot stand texting I think it was designed to just have a short contact with someone to aid in communication, but now people have taken to a whole level where they don’t even talk. This is also why I’m against A1 when it comes to everyday life we are becoming extensions of robots

now I handle situations like this because o just done it this week actually , is I remove them off my what’s app and now tell them if you want talk just call me , as I’ve removed my WhatsApp or I tell that particular person , sorry but not sorry I don’t like how you keep me waiting 3-7
days before you reply it’s disrespectful! So from now on please just call or leave a voice message . Abuse it you loose it in my eyes .

they are selfish! Period! I treat them with the same stick they treat me with, that’s how they understand how they treat you. If you don’t like me asking what or how long will you take to get back to me then don’t leave me hanging waiting for a text reply which shouldn’t take more than one to two mins or a day, that’s acceptable but not if one it's urgent so you can plan which these selfish individuals don’t understand , as they make it all about them and their time , or two ahead or two so I can stop asking and not be anxious for a reply .

People do it to look popular and pretend they're being stalked....🙄
Don't even given them the attention (that they so obviously want but "publicly," want to make a point of avoiding) honestly it's attention-seeking nonsense - if they want to behave like 8 year olds let them. Back in the real world we all text etc in real time and assume if someone doesn't respond straightaway that they're busy and will do layer on.

No, its much more akin to you seeing your friend with someone else in a restaurant and barging up to them and expecting a conversation. That is just rude.

If something is urgent then call, if its not urgent it doesn't need a quick response or a placeholder for a quick response.

This expectation that every message must have at least a "get back to you later" and then the requirement to engage later is exactly why most people turn off read receipts and online presence.

BTW you resurrected an 18 month old zombie.

Because they don’t want to feel pressured to reply instantly.

YABU, and anyone thinking YANBU are probably the reason that people turn off read receipts.

I turned off read receipts because of naggers wanting instant responses and the assumption that if you have read a message/are online, then you are free for a chat.
My phone is for my convenience. I ended up uninstalling Whatsapp altogether as it was too much hassle.
I use FB messenger but only on my laptop. People have to call me on my phone number if it is urgent, otherwise they will have to wait for a reply... like it used to be before the internet and the expectation to be available 24/7.

You don't understand it because you are probably one of the people that causes others to turn off read receipts. Just because someone has read your message it doesn't mean they have agreed.

OP, I'd just send one more message saying 'would appreciate confirmation', then leave it.
I must admit, I have toyed with turning mine off, as I have a friend who will message me and if I don't respond within 10minutes I get ??????, followed by 'are you there?'
But I haven't because I'm too nosy to see if they have read my messages🤣

If I need an instant response, I call. Which is why whenever I call my daughter she answers with "is everything okay?" Because people don't call each other any more 😅

Let's hope you never need an instant response...

haha no.

and if i have one of those naggers who nags me to answer immediately? i leave them on unread forever.

You are still not getting it. It's not about the delay it's about the right to turn off Read Receipts. I don't have a problem with delay although if someone doesn't have time to answer then they shouldn't read it because they have no idea what the other party might be thinking about the non response. Just don't answer it.

it's because responding is done in your time not the readers. It says "your time isn't as important as mine"

But you're saying that your time is more important than theirs!

Everyone has different pressures and different personalities among their contacts. The fact that I find it vaguely irritating not to know if my daughter has read my message about the time we might meet, doesn't trump her right to delay answering because she's in the middle of changing a nappy or fielding a tantrum, and she doesn't want to have to explain or defend that delay to someone who'd be more unreasonable about it.

It really isn't. You don't have the right to know exactly when someone has read your message.

My read receipts are on by default, but I understand why some people's aren't. They might have just one person on their contacts who is unreasonable or abusive about expecting an immediate response, but in order to keep that person off their back, they have to do it for everyone, as WhatsApp doesn't let you just do it for one.

I did it because I had a couple of annoying accquaintances who would message me saying "I can see you're online! Yay!!!! Let's chat!!!!"

When I was replying to a sibling about something urgent etc.

I also did it when I was struggling with not getting pregnant and friends were sending me their scan/baby pics on there. I didn't want them to know I'd seen it and not responded straight away. I needed time to have a little cry, and get the space to compose a cheerful response in my own time.

That's not the point being discussed here. It's about why people turn off Read Receipts so people can't see if you have read a message or not. This is the point I am making. I think it's rude and selfish. If you are not going to turn on Read Receipts it's because responding is done in your time not the readers. It says "your time isn't as important as mine". I get that people can't always have their phones on them so it's ok to see the grey ticks but if the grey ticks are there because you turned off Read Receipts then that's just blatantly rude.

Because they don't have their phone with them. My family members are all teachers or nurses. We cannot/could not have our phones with us in lesson time/on the ward.

Or they might be driving. Or they might be with friends, and it would be rude to keep checking their phone. Or a million other reasons.

My DD has a baby and a pre-schooler. I don't expect her to be able to respond immediately (though I'll admit that her not having the blue ticks on is frustrating when I'm trying to arrange times etc to pick up the kids to do childcare).

Why can't people respond immediately?
You honestly think that everyone has to drop everything RIGHT AWAY! if you contact them?

Why can't people respond immediately? I can only think of one reason you can't respond immediately and that's because you are trapped innder a bus. If you have time to read it you have time to say "get back to you later". Even predictive text will get it done quicker. It's a bit like when you are out with a friend and they ask you across the table if you are doing anything on Monday and you slip away from the table without saying bye. IMHO it's just rude.

100% this. Unless someone needs a reply or my help/support urgently, I respond at my own convenience, and I don't expect immediate responses from my contacts either. I hate how tech can make people can feel like the drawbridge is always down, and I won't buy into it unless something is genuinely time-sensitive. It's probably because I'm middle-aged and can remember how peaceful life used to be when things like WhatsApp didn't exist. 😁

I didn't know you could turn them off.

Personally I think it's a bit much to expect people to respond immediately - in the age of instant contact I think it's reasonable to allow people to draw their own boundaries and respond at time that is best for them (unless obviously time sensitive matter)

Like many of people, I have quite a stressful job but WFH and I'm staring at a screen all day having to respond instantly to work messages on Slack. The last thing I want to do is feel pressured to respond instantly to friends and family. It's overwhelming and I feel completely unable to relax during weekdays when people expect instant responses from every little message.

Might sound a little harsh and this is just my opinion but I often find the people getting frustrated about read receipts often are retired or don't work full time etc and have much more time on their hands to be getting worked up about these things.

I have them turned on but I look at the message preview on Android before I decide if I want to mark it as read or not

I didn't know WhatsApp had this feature. I looked at mine and it's on but if I'm arranging a meeting I want an actual message from someone. Whether or not they've read something is irrelevant and often in an app you can have read something different in that app. If I want an answer from someone I send them an actual question. I would just ask people in the app if they are coming or not and say I'm not going if no-one else is.

This