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Original poster

Exh arrested for indecent images

31 replies

Progolfernot · 08/01/2023 07:40

Posting here for traffic. Hope that’s ok!

I don’t know where to start, I’m in complete shock. I’m a regular poster but have name changed for this.

My exh’s partner has phoned me to tell me he has been arrested for viewing indecent images of under 18s. He rang me later on and said he has been released on bail, and that an old email account of his had been linked to an account that has viewed images of under 18s. His phone has been taken and it will be at least 3 months until the forensics look at it. His bail conditions say he is allowed no unsupervised contact with anyone under the age of 18. He denied it all but I can’t imagine he’d admit it to me anyway. Can I ring the police for more information?

We have a child who is 15 and absolutely dotes on their dad. I am absolutely devastated for them. I presume social services will be contacting me. How long is this likely to take? Obviously my absolute priority is my child but what do I tell them? Will social services want to speak to them directly?

I am confident that my child is safe and hasn’t been put at risk but equally, knowing what I do now, what the hell am I meant to do?

Any advice would be most welcome. Thank you.

OP posts:
wherethewildthingis · 08/01/2023 08:09

It is absolutely not legal to view indecent images of children over the age of 16 in the UK.

Simonjt · 08/01/2023 08:07

KangarooKenny · 08/01/2023 08:06

Absolutely contact SS. And think about contacting school too, so they know he is not allowed contact.

This is what I would do as well, make sure you have an adult who can support you with the call, that way if its too much for you they may find it easier to give details on your behalf.

Simonjt · 08/01/2023 08:07

Ihatethenewlook · 08/01/2023 08:04

Under 18’s? What country are you in? I’m assuming it’s actually under 16’s and he doesn’t want to tell you that, over 16 is legal? I agree with pp asking ss for advice. The police will be unable to disclose anything if he’s just getting investigated, in case of the unlikely event he’s innocent. I wouldn’t just assume ss will be contacting you unless he gets a conviction. I’d be asking them for advice about keeping your dc away from him until this is sorted.

Over 16 is most definitely not legal in the UK, you have to be 18 in the UK to be in porn.

KangarooKenny · 08/01/2023 08:06

Absolutely contact SS. And think about contacting school too, so they know he is not allowed contact.

Ihatethenewlook · 08/01/2023 08:04

Under 18’s? What country are you in? I’m assuming it’s actually under 16’s and he doesn’t want to tell you that, over 16 is legal? I agree with pp asking ss for advice. The police will be unable to disclose anything if he’s just getting investigated, in case of the unlikely event he’s innocent. I wouldn’t just assume ss will be contacting you unless he gets a conviction. I’d be asking them for advice about keeping your dc away from him until this is sorted.

MintJulia · 08/01/2023 07:58

I'd call social services and ask their advice, since they deal with this stuff every day. SS will probably be able to get more information from the police, which I suspect you may not.

It may be a mistake, or it may be your ex has looked at sites, but there are different levels and categories of content. I'd want to know a lot more before deciding how to handle this with your teen.

Tell your ex to make an excuse for not seeing dc face to face this week, while you establish the facts, as they are known so far.

Whatever the answers, bail terms need to be observed so do you have the kind of relationship where your ex can come to your house to see dc, so you are present?

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