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AIBU?

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Original poster

Moved to rural area and hate it

161 replies

Ruralmumof3boys · 05/01/2023 17:55

Looking for some advice please

I'm a married mum of 3 boys and we were living in dublin. We have a house in the countryside and during lockdown decided to move and give it a go. We have the house a long time so knew the area we were moving to. We are here over 2 years now and I hate it. Rural living is just not for me.

I hate having to drive everywhere nothing is within walking distance to our house. My family still lives in dublin nearly 2 hours away and I miss them. The kids have friends here now but they can't just go outside and play with their friends it's all drop off and pick up for everything

Our middle son doesn't like it here either but our other 2 love it and my husband is living his best life and refuses to move back to dublin. We still have our house there so it's definitely an option available to us.

I've tried so hard to like it here. I went back to work part time, I'm a childminder, and joined a toddler group locally to meet new people

I just miss be around people and the city. There are also no takeaway places that will deliver to us which is a pain. My husband has slight vision problems so I do most of the driving and always go for the takeaway which I know is only a small thing to complain about

I miss having neighbours to have a little chat with I could literally go days without talking to anyone but my husband

Also the house we live in now is really old and although some parts are fab like the old stonework on the walls it's hard to heat so I'm always cold and the living space is a lot smaller. We gained an extra bedroom which is the only plus point

Any advice on what to do?? I feel stuck here and I'm just not happy

OP posts:
Marblessolveeverything · 05/01/2023 18:29

That is a challenge. How old, what stage are the children as another move needs to be timed?

If you can identify a practical time to move back then I would say it needs to happen. Your DH living his best life when you are miserable and the sole driver is not sustainable, resentment will set in

Original poster
Ruralmumof3boys · 05/01/2023 18:29

Thanks so much everyone for all the replies the husband does do a bit at home but I definitely think I need to decide what I want to do. I just want to keep everyone happy which is probably not going to happen

The kids are still in school so we need to be based in one place or another full time but I would be open to visiting the countryside. I think because I enjoyed the time here on short occasions I was willing to try full time rural living but the novelty of the quiet has well and truly worn off

The WiFi is also shocking bad 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Staffielove23 · 05/01/2023 18:24

Trying to think outside the box 🤔

Staffielove23 · 05/01/2023 18:23

Or would buying an automatic car making driving easier for your DH?

billy1966 · 05/01/2023 18:22

Living in the countryside and being the sole driver with 3 children is NOT something I would entertain.

I think you need to think about your future and not allow things to drift.

Staffielove23 · 05/01/2023 18:22

That’s a shame. Sounds like my idea of heaven! Life’s too short to live somewhere that you don’t like though so you are YANBU. You have a property in Dublin right? Can you afford to reclaim it and live there for half of the week?

Abra1t · 05/01/2023 18:21

That’s a tough situation. Do you think it will seem better in the spring? Winter in the country can be bleak, I know from long experience.

Original poster
Ruralmumof3boys · 05/01/2023 18:19

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Both myself and my husband have worked really hard for our properties and we rent the one in dublin. This comment is unnecessary and just mean 😒

OP posts:
Original poster
Ruralmumof3boys · 05/01/2023 18:17

MMMarmite · 05/01/2023 18:08

That's really tough. Neither of you is being unreasonable (although the fact that the driving falls to you is hard; does he pull his weight in other ways?)

Would moving to a village or small town in the area help, or is it Dublin you're craving?

I'm not sure moving to a village is a possibility. We could possibly rent somewhere if there was something available but there isn't and I know we could move back to our house in dublin

Maybe I'll check out other areas and see thanks

OP posts:
MMMarmite · 05/01/2023 18:08

That's really tough. Neither of you is being unreasonable (although the fact that the driving falls to you is hard; does he pull his weight in other ways?)

Would moving to a village or small town in the area help, or is it Dublin you're craving?

Wisterical · 05/01/2023 18:07

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