Anyone just done with life at middle age

I'm the opposite @Legallypinkish. I exist in the summer in live in the autumn and winter. Well I say live...

I'm already on HRT and I don't think it's made a shred of difference. I thought it would at least sort my very thin hair out but nothing. Never mind the extreme tiredness, everything hurting, painful sex. It's just all shit.

I'm 48 and single after my relationship broke up in 2021. No children. I'm feeling really flat at the moment, no motivation, feel no excitement, I don't know how I'm going to plaster a smile on my face over Christmas. We'd broken up before last Christmas and I even felt much happier then, so this is my second and feeling ten times worse. I don't know whether it's a combination of my age and delayed effect of breakup or what. I actually cried yesterday, but am not really sure why.

As others said, it kind of helps to read others are feeling like this.

I’m 51. I feel like this all winter but the come alive again as soon as spring hits. I live for 6 months of the year and exist for the other 6 months.

Catching up on the thread and this made me chuckle. Thanks @TheClitterati

It's like reading what I am thinking. I go to bed each night hoping I don't wake up. I'm so exhausted. I'm 38. Is that normal??

Yup. Me too.

I'm itching to know what big changes to my life the super positive pp can offer me in order to make the future look brighter?

43. Already tried a myriad of ADs. Probably peri but bloods okay. Full time carer to quite severely handicapped DC and DH working his ass off to keep this shithole of a roof over our heads. No support other than my dear widowed mum who lives an hour away.

Ideas for what fun lies ahead on a postcard, cheers.

It gets better - one day you wake up and you have no more fucks to give. It's very liberating & things improve

Agree, op, just turned 45 and feel really flat and down for a year or so, had Dd later at age 40, but life felt exciting and I still felt quite young. Feel like I have zero motivation or nothing to look forward to now and feel stuck also..not sure what’s going on really, not even excited for Christmas but am putting it on for Dd

Yes. Had have long MH illness for years despite taking several medications. Have a disability(profound hearing loss) and a young son with multiple disabilities. My other kids steer clear of me. I don’t blame them. I wish I could be a candidate for Dignitas. This isn’t just Christmas blues. I’m tired of living.

I can't believe so many feel this way. Including those thoughts about being diagnosed with life ending illness, that in some ways it would be a relief. Small comfort knowing others feel like this too.

I'm going to try HRT and see if that changes anything.

to all

Can relate to this thread so much. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting to die. Warm wishes to everyone feeling like this. Think I need to try either HRT or anti depressants as I just want to hide in bed all day at the moment!

Yep, mid 40s, usual grind of caring for my parents who have long term health issues. Same shit, different day. If I was diagnosed with a life ending illness, I'd be thankful.

I felt exactly like this before I went on HRT. Two months later I feel alive again.

Nah. Never feel like that. I’m happy with my life.

My DH works hard and long hours that so much falls to me. Getting ready for Christmas has felt like an extra part time job these past 6-8 weeks or so....

Just wanted to add I'm 47 and feeling similar to many on this thread. Even the 'fun' things don't feel that fun to me anymore. We had our work Xmas night out the other night and I would have much rather been at home watching something on Netflix. I don't know whether it's the feeling there are fewer things to look forward to in the future or whether people are unfriendlier in general and life isn't how it felt it used to be or both.

It’s proven that they are significantly less effective for mild to moderate depression than other solutions.

I'm 40 and feel like this.

I think it's exhaustion. I don't feel like myself anymore or attractive and interested in things, mainly because I don't get much time to myself. The idea of living another 40 years terrifies me. I am going to make myself bail out if I am still alive at 70. I don't own my own house, so I'm just going to be paying my pension to a landlord and will need to keep working for little reward. Fuck that.

I'm not depressed, I just think living is a bit crap and pointless. Nothing makes sense and people are idiotic. Already on hormone replacement, so it's not menopause, just the world we live in is crap. We spend so much time doing basic things to survive that we don't get to live.

Walked in everyone's shoes have you?

God, yes.
I'm 39. I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel. Just work, kids or sodding laundry.

I feel like all the fun bits are done. 20s, wedding, the thought of future kids. My life is about other people.

My periods are starting to get weird and I've got to work harder to keep the weight off despite being very active.

Oh, and I have a late diagnosis of autism, so I've felt different all my life. No support growing up and none in adulthood. Plus a lack of friends and no real prospects of them in the future really. Holidays, alcohol and new clothes are the very brief reprieves.

I feel like this. I’m taking Sertraline and HRT, I’ve literally lost the will to live.

The bit about feeling ok in the evening really resonated with me. I am a night owl and could happily stay up till 3am and wake up 11/12. I feel ok in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep. Perhaps it's the lack of guilt of 'making the most of every day' . I wonder if a lot of depressed people are night owls? Certainly 'get up and go' types always seem to be happier and more energetic, and I try to be like that, but fall back into bad habits too easily.

I think I’ve just reached a point where I’m not happy but have resigned myself to it. When I was young I was enthusiastic about things, then I spent my 20s and 30s feeling disgruntled that my life wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. ExH didn’t want kids and by the time I met current OH it was too late, I’ve got odd relationships with my family, few friends, career hasn’t shaped up as well as it could have, I have MH issues and I’ve never really developed a clear sense of self.

I know you only get one chance at life but I’m 42 and now resigned to the fact that I didn’t make a good job of mine and am just marking time really.

I wouldn't say I'm done with life, but yes, life is not easy and it can be a struggle. I do draw strength from reading this thread and others like it, because it helps to know I'm not alone when I feel this way.

I've heard all the advice that is summed up in that old Carole King song: "You've got to get up every morning, put a smile on your face, and show the world all the love in your heart. Then people are gonna treat you better, you will find, yes you will, that you're beautiful". And I do agree with it, but like others have said, it is so hard to put into action when you're feeling deflated. You feel like, maybe I could do that if someone else would just kickstart the engine first.