AIBU being annoyed about my sister's destination wedding

For @Goodgrief82

Let me Google that for you

@Goodgrief82

This thread isn’t about you and your obsession over flight prices.
Start a new thread if you’re so preoccupied that you’re bound and determined to derail @destinationisland’s entire conversation.
You’re ridiculous.

The thing that really bothers me is that when my husband and I were planning a wedding in Thailand 10 years ago (he is Australian, so it was in middle for both our families), we were told we were being selfish and the wedding must be in my home town if we wanted my parents to come

For those that missed it...

What Australian wedding?

So. They gave you grief for getting married in Thailand, but now they’ll punish you if you don’t go 5000 miles to your sister’s wedding out in the Pacific? And they’ve pushed you out of the main house like you’re the red-headed stepchild?

Allow me to count the many ways this pisses me off on your behalf, @destinationisland.

Don’t give in to bullies. I hate bullies. Stand up for yourself — in the long run, they won’t even notice you aren’t there, will they.

Why are you being weird?

FFS just say no. Not enough cash; not enough annual leave; not enough fucks given 🤷‍♀️

"For the love of all that is holy, can people stop banging on about specific flights"

Ideally yes, at about 6am this morning. Until some random poster who apparently can't work the internet tagged me about 25 times asking for a link 😅

For the love of all that is holy, can people stop banging on about specific flights, costs and counter arguments about it, unless there's some sort of nomination for most pointless and boring thread derail.

Flights are expensive, flights take a long time - that's the precis no matter what expedia search people want to spend their time doing.

@PurpleButterflyWings are you ok? Or are you unable to do a simple search too?

Strange

Thanks @CraneBoysMysteries I'm stumped tbh. I searched flights very early this morning and posted when pps were accusing the OP of lying about flight costs. I found that there are in fact flights for that price and posted it.

@Goodgrief82 has spent half the day banging on about a link. To get a link, I'd have to go back and search for it all again when anyone can quite easily do that themselves. Why the fuck would I take the time to do that again? 🙈 bizarre

I'm not sure what the point of the derail is? @FleasNavidad posted around 6.15 this morning showing flights to Bora Bora were over 30hrs and c£1700 pp?

I've done a quick Expedia search and can easily see this.

Are you both implying the OP is wrong and the flight times and cost are not as she says? Does this mean you think she is unreasonable?

I've no idea what these posts are meant to point out other than you haven't got a specific link to something that can be easily googled? What did I miss?

@FleasNavidad is overtired. 😂 Have a snickers bar 'fleas' ... you're not YOU when you're hungry!

@FleasNavidad

U OK hun? Is it past your bedtime? School tomorrow!

And still no link 😂

Just say you can’t go.

I had a destination wedding and was very clear that while I’d really love those invited to come, I knew it was a lot to ask and would completely understand if people declined the invite.

That's a very good point! You want to get in early, not be the sixth person to let them down in the space of a week.

Excellent advice.

There could be a deluge!

"I'd cancel quickly before others start to let them down."

This is a very good point. It won't take long to realise what a costly ball ache this wedding will be.

"You won’t post a link
but will post a screen shot showing flights to … LA

says it all 😂"

What the fuck are you on about? Why would I go back and search again just to post you a link? I've already done it twice 🤣. Search yourself if you're that arsed, the first photo I posted clearly says Manchester to Bora Bora. As I said a fucking million hours ago, RTFT

If you can't afford it

Don't go

£5k in flights is a lot

Then accomdation

Then spending money /travel /taxis

And sucks to be away from main wedding party so no breakie /evening meals

Does she actually want you there

I had a destination wedding and invited all family knowing only certain people wanted/could do the travelling and expense. This is something you have to expect when choosing to do this. We had some family come and some not come. Never once did I think any less of the ones that didn't come. It's personal choice and should be respected.
I hate that some people are so entitled they think they've got the right to pressure people into doing things and put on the guilt trips.
OP, stand firm - say you can't afford it with the flights and now extra villa cost. They'll either get over it, offer to help you by letting you stay in the original villa or arsey. I'd rather deal with arsey than spend thousands of pounds when you've better things to spend the money on.

I read that as would not replace the car and would have to rely on DH family IF they use the money on the wedding.

I'd cancel quickly before others start to let them down.

'Ds, we've priced up the full costs and travel times. I'm sorry but we will not be able to make it work. With rising costs of living we no longer have that money available to us. The children won't cope with the travel, we also find it hard as we can't crash on the flights. We wish you both well and look forward to all the photos'

I'm a bit confused as to why we're focusing on the specific cost of the flights and how long it takes to get there.

Bottom line is it will cost a lot of money and take a lot of time.

The fundamental issue over if OP and family should go or not remains the same.