Am i too old to have a baby?

Personally, I wouldn't.

I had my son at 39. If I had the opportunity to turn back the clock, I'd have definitely had him 5 years earlier. Am now going through perimenopause and it's a struggle with a primary aged child. My energy levels have plummeted and managing hot flushes, migraines, insomnia etc is proving really hard when you have a child that is still fairly dependent on you.

I don't regret my child at all. He is my biggest source of joy. But I don't doubt it would have been easier on me physically if I'd done this earlier....

When I had DD at 41,DH was 35 and had no children, otherwise we wouldn't have done it. I don't regret having her, not a bit
As for "seeing"pregnant women over 40,my DH worked with a lot of people in their early 20s, I went with him to a works Christmas do,6 months pregnant, wearing ordinary clothes (a 50s style dress belonging to oldest DD) the people who hadn't met me,on being told, asked if it was my first,were absolutely staggered to hear I had a 21 year old. I went through the menopause early 40s,and yes, mine was hell.

43-44 is not too old to have another child. I had DS2 at almost 41, friend had her first at that age and her second at 44. She had no problems, is quite fit (runs every day) and is very happy. Yes, there are additional risks but my midwife explained to me that it wasn’t clear exactly what was the issue with delivering at 40 plus with second child separate from the risks of having number 4 or 5 as most of their data on mums over 40 was from women on number 4 or even more- that might have changed in the last 14 years though.
However, you already have several DC between you. That, to me, is the issue.

Re: the ''i've never seen one'' stuff. What an odd comment!

Do you meet loads of people with new babies and know them well enough to know their age?

I mean if you're a midwife or HCW saying that it's noteworthy i guess, but other wise ... odd thing to say

Ditto. I can count on one hand the number of women I know who had kids before the age of 30.

We can all play “let’s point fingers at the freaks, @PurpleButterflyWings

@PurpleButterflyWings where l live there are just no mums in their 20’s. None.

All 30’s and 40’s

@PurpleButterflyWings I have to ask as I would never judge a woman for having a baby. It is not always in their control.

Anyway at least you are honest. Do you think that me and other women in their 40's who find themselves pregnant should have had abortions?

If you judgments are for concern for the baby it may reassure you to know my baby has an ace life. Much nicer than my older two DC ,in so many ways as my life is better, finances etc

Before contraception was invented it was very normal for women to have babies for as long as they were fertile; well into their 40's.

@PurpleButterflyWings
Mums over 40 depends on where you live, deprived areas probably less common but where I live (Winchester) very common to meet mums in 40s.

@PurpleButterflyWings

Also, as I have said before, I see soooo many women on here who have had babies in their mid 40s - or older - and yet in real life, I don't think I have ever seen a pregnant woman over 40! Late 30s, yes a few, and lots in their early 30s and many more in their 20s... but 40s? Nope.

Have you ever been to a city?

I made the choice against for financial reasons. In your shoes I wouldn't want to have to push retirement back so far to pay for uni etc and save more for retirement. Also my existing kids were very against.

Really @PurpleButterflyWings ! Where are you looking?

My ds was born when I was 45 & 2 months.
My DM had me at 42&3 months. She had dsis at 44&5 months.
Dsis had hers at 41& 7 months.
Dniece is expecting at 41&9 months.
NCT friends were 45+1 and 40+6

It's the norm in our family. None of us have babies before mid 30s.

Chances of naturally falling pregnant at 43 are around 3%.

Where do you live, @PurpleButterflyWings ? While I think this particular OP must be mad to have a third, I don't think 40 year old mothers-to-be is that unusual. How can you never have seen any?

@Wish44

Question to all the nay sayers on here, if you met me (45) with baby (13 months) would you be judging me?

Well, what do you think? I can't believe you even need to ask that question!

Also, as I have said before, I see soooo many women on here who have had babies in their mid 40s - or older - and yet in real life, I don't think I have ever seen a pregnant woman over 40! Late 30s, yes a few, and lots in their early 30s and many more in their 20s... but 40s? Nope.

This. ^ Running around after toddlers/infants/primary age children in your mid to late 40s (full time) is something the vast majority of people really do NOT want to do! I can't get my head around why anyone would elect to have a baby in their mid 40s!

In your situation I wouldn't as you already have two children and your partner has a son. I say that as someone who had their first at 39 and am planning another aged 40. Circumstances led me to be an older mother but I would have much preferred to be 5 or 6 years younger. Some days I really feel my age.

You don't need a baby to show your commitment to eachother. And you both already have children.

“ Why do you want another? To “cement “ your relationship Didn’t work before did it? Yawn

I started peri menopause at 40 & gave birth at 42, no issues getting pregnant, being pregnant or birth. I am tired though but I push through!

I have custody of my 2 and 3 year old granddaughters. I’m 49 now. I’m exhausted - all of the time.

Why don't you just enjoy the rest of your life without taking on any more major responsibilities? You've done your bit, with 2 DC already, and the world isn't going to run short of people any time soon. We're up to 8 billion ATM!

I had my second at 43 and it was a far easier pregnancy and recovery than my first in my 30’s.
I had built a very successful career, had a nearly paid off house, a good long term set of friends around me and had a ball traveling and dancing till dawn in my 20’s & early 30’s.
Of course your not too old. In fact I love going to concerts etc with my teens

Why would they?? I was 16 and my sisters 20 and 25 when my mum had my brother aged 44. We all loved him to bits and helped to look after him. He is now a kind, thoughtful 15 year old. Never once did we think it was a bad thing for our mum to have another when she naturally fell pregnant at 43.

If anything having a child late keeps you young!

I agree. I was 41 when I had DD.

I had mine at 41 and 43. I'm 60 now. My age hasn't been an issue. My husband died when they were little (heart attack at 51). That had the biggest affect - how everything was down to me and now my 19 year old is really struggling and it's hard to deal with without a partner. That would be the case if I was 20 years younger though.
My cousin had her child at 45, a friend one at 47. All conceived naturally. If anything having a child late keeps you young!

I had my second at 40 he has autism, global delay and learning difficulties.
I have no regrets but it can be hard.