Am i too old to have a baby?

This.

I've just had a baby at 44. He wasn't planned - he was an accident. A very happy one as it turns out. Pregnancy was horrible due to health conditions i have (i was losing weight to have a heart op and got pregnant instead). But he is amazing. My DDs (13 and 9) are incredible with him. Do i worry about being an old mother? A bit but it is what it is. He sleeps better than i do and is a bundle of joy.

Would i have chosen this? Nope. But sometimes the best things in our lives happen despite careful planning.

Stable? She’s only known him 2 years. Has other children so assuming hasn’t even lived with him that long either.

If you’re in a loving stable relationship and you both want to have a child, go for it. Not every woman has a terrible menopause.

There's probably more judgment around having 3 children by 3 different fathers with significant age gaps then actually having another child at 44 to be honest?

Although personally I'd have liked another child I felt like I'd feel a bit embarrassed to have them well over age 40 especially when you have teenagers already - its a bit different if you are only just starting having a family at say 40 and 3 follow in fairly quick succession

I agree. Obviously, I don't know what it would have been like if I had been younger when DD was born, but I was not a decrepit old woman when DD was a teenager. I'm 64 now and still don't feel old and decrepit.

If age is your only concern (if everything else is right) then I say go for it. Hubby and I were lucky enough to have three healthy kids, two after turning 40, no intervention. I was one month shy of my 44th birthday when number three was born. Yes that makes me an older mum but there are so many positives that outweight age worries. Just don't pressure yourself if it doesn't happen, whatever will be will be.

I have custody of my 2 and 3 year old granddaughters. I’m 49 now. I’m exhausted - all of the time

Are you overweight? Unfit? I've got 10 years on you, work in Early Years and aren't exhausted. Maybe get some blood tests?

Not looking forward to having teenagers in my 50s

It's fab. I'm just back from picking DD and her mates up from town. We live rurally so they can only stay out late if a parent picks them up. Tomorrow we're off to a uni open day. Honestly, some of you lot act like your 50s are actually your 80s 🙄

I had my one at 42 after many miscarriages. It was a total struggle, but the pregnancy was easy and after I'd had him, I was just so overjoyed my age became completely irrelevant. It still is. If you want it, and you're prepared to go through it, then do it. Don't let what anyone else thinks, particularly people you don't know, stop you. Good luck!

Can you manage another lot of school runs, school clubs and after activity clubs when you are in your 50s?

Why ever not?

Not to mention GCSEs, A levels, UCAS, supporting through university

What's the problem?

A vanishingly small proportion of your eggs will be chromosomally normal at this point. Many IVF clinics won’t even allow women to try using their own eggs past 42, they have to use donor eggs from younger women instead.

I guess consider how resilient you feel in yourself and how many miscarriages you can tolerate or potentially a TFMR. This stuff gets real pretty quickly and the trauma is not to be underestimated.

I'll give you my experience of having much older parents.
My mum had me at 46, my dad was 54. Sadly my father passed young at 59 so I never knew him, my mum is still alive at 89 but has has had physical health issues and had recently been diagnosed with dementia.
I am 43 now and have two dds 14 & 12 year old, I don't really remember not caring for mum in some way, even before kids in my 20s. It is extremely hard to care for a elderly parents when raising children, your time is so precious when they're young, and you can feel very torn.
Its extremely refreshing to her someone actually ask if it's selfish, as my parents did not consider what it would be like on us (I'm the youngest of 15!) so good for you.
I do think times have changed and we are all fitter than we were.
But let's just say there's a reason I had my children in my late 20s and early 30s.

This!

I was 43 when fell pregnant unexpectedly with 3rd - 5 year relationship. Have 21 & 13 yo already. Dad is 54 & has 3 dc with his ex 30,27,23. We were surprised and understood the risks involved but ds now 3 months old. I’m appreciative of all the little things in ds development that I took for granted in younger years as a parent. Wasn’t treated any differently as a pregnant mum either and it’s common now to find parents in their 40’s.

I live in London and it's completely normal for women in my circle to have their first at 43! I was 36 when my son was born and 39 when My daughter was born. In the eyes of some, I was young!

You know what having a baby is like. You know what to expect and can probably judge if you can cope. It's up to you and biology. No one else.

Id give it a go and see....

Btw the menopause isn't that bad for everyone. Yes, it Caen be awful for some but not all.

I had a baby at nearly 43, my older kids were 15 and 17 at the time. I am now perimenopausal 3 years later and it's tiring with a demanding job as well but I wouldn't change it. I did have IVF though (same sex relationship). Not sure how easy it is to just get pregnant at 43. Though obviously it can happen.

I had a surprise baby at 41 (my others were 19 and 9) and it's absolutely no different from when I had my others.
Do whatever makes you happy 🤷‍♀️

My Gran had twins at 43. My grandad was 37. She lived till her 80s but he died at 55.

i am older than that now but no I wouldn’t. Not with that kind of age gap. Just as life gets easier going back to the baby and young child stage. No thanks.

I suspect they don't talk to others so they don't get the clue they are younger or older than they look.

I agree. Everyone assumed I was younger than I was when DD was born (I was 41).

I suspect they don't talk to others so they don't get the clue they are younger or older than they look.

For the people saying they have never seen a mum in their 20s / they’ve never seen a mum in their 40s…do you never leave the house?! They are everywhere 🤣

More babies born to over 40’s than 20-25’s in 2020.

Click on 2020

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/datasets/birthsbyparentscharacteristics

It often gets mentioned on these threads that it was very common in the past for women to keep having babies into their 40s etc. They didn't have much choice though, did they, without access to reliable contraception and safe abortions.

I wonder what a lot of them would think, of women who have much more control over reproduction, choosing to have babies so late. I bet a lot of them would have liked the choice not to.

My grandmother had her last baby after a big gap at 47, obviously unplanned. My Dad was 19 when his brother was born.

The sad part was when the baby was 3 months old, my Grandfather passed away very suddenly ( heart attack )