Am i too old to have a baby?

It’s absolutely your body and your choice and I respect that, but I am quietly pondering what led you to wanting two more babies when you’re nearly 50. Actually sod the quiet bit, what was it? Younger man? Last chance saloon? Impending menopause causing mad hormones? You seem like an open book so I hope you don’t mind me asking @Cabincat.

All the arguments about it’s too old because of seeing them grow up etc don’t wash with me health problems and death can happen to any parent at any age so whatever age you are it doesn’t guarantee this .

Tell me you don't understand probabilities without telling me you don't understand probabilities...

@Cabincat why? Do the new babies have a different father?

You sound fabulous!

I have had a baby at 45 and one at 48 I’ve already got 3 2 in there 20’s and one who’s 19 . I’ll be honest the waking up at etc is harder but I have a lot more patience now . All the arguments about it’s too old because of seeing them grow up etc don’t wash with me health problems and death can happen to any parent at any age so whatever age you are it doesn’t guarantee this . I also believe it doesn’t matter what age you are it’s how good a parent you are that matters and I have spoken to friends who have older parents who confirm this too me . If it is right for you go for it my pregnancies were both fine in fact easier than the others . Everyone will have conflicting opinions only you know how you feel

I would hate getting all the nursery bugs

Interesting…. I stopped catching any colds or bugs after the age of about 42. I’m never ill. I must have built up some long term immunity or something.

Yeah exactly this. Peri menopause symptoms may not seem so bad with a 10 yr old but would feel a whole lot worse with a baby or toddler. I'm 47 & have a lot of insomnia plus hot flushes. But my kids are 18 (at uni) & almost 15. So I can gave a nap some days if I need to & I don't get woken by a screaming infant. Thank god! Can't honestly imagine anything worse now than falling pregnant. I'm excited to see what the next 10 years hold for me as a wife/woman and not as a mother of young kids 👏👏

I think the biological odds are against you. But more importantly, this is only a two year relationship. Personally I wouldn't want to risk a newborn blowing a hole in it or being left as a single parent in my 50s. You have three children between you, so that would be enough for me. I'd be looking forward to grownup holidays and spontaneity.

My mother had me at 45. So for some it is definitely still possible. However I am now 35 my mother is 80 and very frail. I know many people lose parents at any age but we recently had a discussion and she did say herself whilst I was an accident so would never have had me sooner. She does and I do too feel if she could have done she would have. My grandmother died when my mum was in her late 60s and I had my first child last year. So I don’t think I will get the time she got with her mum nor will my mum get the time with her grandson.
Good luck whatever you decided OP

For me personally it would be too old. I’m a couple of years older than you and the idea of having a two year old makes me shudder. I would hate getting all the nursery bugs, tantrums, always having to entertain a toddler, rigid routines, carrying loads of stuff around every time we leave the house etc. My kids are 18 and 20, and I look forward to possibly having grandchildren at some point, but I have just got my freedom back and it’s glorious.

Well said!

I met a woman the other day who had just had her first at 44

Definitely not too old. I had my first and only just short of my 46th birthday. Didn’t meet my DH until I was 41 and he’s 7 years younger.

On the plus side I’ve more patience, time and life experience for her. Perfect pregnancy- no sickness, no problems.

Downside - I’ve had to get fitter to keep up. There may have been a link between my late in life pregnancy and developing breast cancer (despite breast feeding to 24 months - stopped for treatment). They check you more (hate the test for gestational diabetes) and won’t let you go much past your due date.

I was lucky and conceived as soon as I started trying - many women are not so lucky.

I had our 2nd (and most definitely last!) in Feb aged 40yrs, with a 7yr age gap. It was planned, just took a little longer to conceive than hoped, pregnancy was relatively straightforward just much more tiring than when In my 30s and labour was super quick (1hr from start to finish!) . I don’t regret it for a second and baby has completed our family…however babies are much more all consuming and exhausting than I remembered and I most definitely would not want to do it again or any older personally.

It's not the baby that is the problem, it's the teenage years when you have less energy. You will not be able to provide much support for grandchildren if they turn up.

You don't say what your partner's age is. If he's your age or younger then the age alone wouldn't be a huge barrier, but if he's in his fifties then the risk of serious problems with his health over the next eighteen years would be too high for me.

Menopause isn't a dealbreaker, most women will have to handle it while parenting teens. And most women are reasonably healthy into their early sixties (assuming you don't smoke or drink to excess and aren't obese).

Apart from that my reservations would be the fact that any pregnancy is more likely to end in miscarriage than a baby, and the issues PP has raised around your family structure and the stability of your relationship.

Regardless of your age, I don't think it's a good idea to have four children in a household with all those parents between them. It's just too complicated

I'm 48 and beginning to feel the peri.

I'm not sure I could cope that well with a child under five at this point!!

MN is unhealthily obsessed with the menopause at the moment! It's a natural stage of life that varies from woman to woman. If you're suffering then access medical help but don't throw your hands up in horror at the thought of parenting a child or teen at the same time as your periods stop.

DONT DO IT! My mum regretted having a baby later in life! I was 16 and resented her! She has to still be a mum because they are still young and now I’ve had kids she can’t be a granny because she’s still mum!
they are difficult children and she’s old and tired and can’t deal with them!
for the sake of your 16 year old please don’t do it!
it’s my mums biggest regret (apart from staying with their dad)

I think she was placing your symptoms of menopause into the OP’s scenario.

DD was 10, so I didn't have the issue of a screaming baby.

You don’t need to have a baby in every single different relationship. Especially not after just two years.

Amen to this. I have a friend who has done this to a bit of an extreme - she’s had 5 relationships and a baby with each one, every time it’s been less than a year before she got pregnant and they stay together barely a year after the baby’s born. I think some see it as a sort of relationship milestone or something that validates a relationship when it really doesn’t need to be like that. Babies are most certainly not wedding rings - not that you need one of those to validate a relationship either. But a ring does do the job better in my experience.

Yeah but migraines & a screaming baby don't sound like fun do they?

Try not to worry and just enjoy life. Life isn’t that cut and dry and unfortunately parents can also die young.

My partners mum and dad were 42 when they had him as their third with a big gap. He is now in his 40s and they are both very much here active and healthier than my now passed mum ( I lost her in my 30s) and my dad with a multitude of illness.