Am i too old to have a baby?

I mean technically you could. But do you really want to given ages of your children already. Also having a child with someone after 2 years is pretty quick, how well do you know them and how they would be as a dad ?

And how do your DC feel about getting another sibling?

Can you manage another lot of school runs, school clubs and after activity clubs when you are in your 50s?

Not to mention GCSEs, A levels, UCAS, supporting through university.

It's a bit of a crapshoot and money and health make a big difference. A senior manager I knew vaguely had her last kids (twins) at 49 (I am guessing via egg donation but that's just a guess) and never came back from mat leave - I think she had the money and more or less retired early.

I was ridiculously healthy in my early 40s but now heading towards late 50s and PROFOUNDLY grateful I don't have a 16 year old thundering around the house, picking random topics to tantrum about and interfering with what's left of my sex life! Not to mention my random naps!

Other people my age have just waved their kids off to uni with tears in their eyes.

How would it be for you?
Ask your parents and any older siblings. They're your best bet for a look into the future.

Do you have space in your home (and budget) for a fourth child?

I think 43 is too old, sorry. For me personally the cut off point to have the last baby is 41-42.

What makes you want another? I know a few women I work with who’ve suddenly hit peri menopause and had a bit of a “do I want another baby? this could be my last chance” dilemma…none of them did though and none have regretted that decision.

It’s definitely a personal decision for you and your OH, you will get mixed views on this on MN. I’m 32 and currently pregnant with my last, I feel much older this time, couldn’t imagine wanting another in 10 years especially with a massive gap starting again but I guess plenty do now have babies in their 40s without issues.

Yes, in my opinion and experience, you are too old.

I had ds at 45+2. No problems so far (he's now 14).

The only things I would mention. The midwife said older mums often take longer to deliver, and she wasn't wrong.

And I made a conscious effort to increase my fitness as soon as DS was in primary. I took up running and am now the fittest I have ever been. It's important for them to know you can keep up. I still run, cycle and practice karate with mine. I'm now 59. Boosting your energy levels is essential unless you can afford a live in nanny..

Why do you want another? I don’t think you need another new baby with another new relationship. Think of your existing children too; especially the 16yo.

I don't think anyone can answer that but you. I had my 1st at 32, 2nd at 36 and 3rd at 38. DH is nearly 9 years older than me. I didnt feel to old but my health has got far better as I have got older as I was born with health conditions that lessened massively as I got older.

I am now 42 and feel to old for more kids but that's partly because I have 3 kids already.

I think you need to be realistic about what the financial, physical and emotional impact would be if you had another child now. The risk of miscarriage is far higher as is the risk of having a child with a disability. Is this something you can cope with? My oldest DC has complex additional needs and it's very difficult at times.

Can you really manage sleepless nights, potential reflux, colic and toddler tantrums in your mid 40s. Can you manage another lot of school runs, school clubs and after activity clubs when you are in your 50s? Also childcare costs maybe a factor and they are so expensive can you afford that? Is your partner willing up pitch in and do there fair share?

I mean technically you could. But do you really want to given ages of your children already. Also having a child with someone after 2 years is pretty quick, how well do you know them and how they would be as a dad ?

It varies hugely from woman to woman - some women in their 40s fall pregnant very easily (I know a couple of women who got pregnant at your age whilst using contraception!). However, other women will really struggle. My friend had 4 children easily in her 20s/30s and wanted a 5th with her new partner. She started trying at 42 and had 6 miscarriages. Your chance of miscarriage in your 40s is pretty high.
Of those who do have babies in their 40s, some find it easy, invigorating. Again others struggle.
I'm now 47 and I remember being 43, not realising that perimenopause was round the corner and how tough it would be. I can't imagine dealing with a toddler now. I'm so tired, impatient, suffering with brain fog and anxiety etc. I just couldn't put up with sleepless nights and toddler tantrums now!!
But others do and love it. I'm sure some will come along and tell you they really enjoy it.

Why do you want another?