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AIBU?

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Is it cheeky to ask if you’re a homeowner?

110 replies

Shutthegatepeter · 24/11/2022 09:22

I moved back to the village I grew up in just over 5 years ago. I lived here until I went to uni, moved away for 17 years, and now I’m back. This time I’m no longer living with my parents, I’m here with my husband and our 3 kids. We have a nice 4 bed home, it’s nothing really fancy or huge but we’re very lucky as it’s a lovely modest home in a nice area. I was out doing some gardening yesterday and bumped into someone who I went to high school with, sort of grew up with but we weren’t close or anything, but I’ve known him since we were in primary school together and we occasionally hung around with each other as teenagers. We started chatting, the usual long time no see, how are you etc. I told him I’m married now with 3 kids, he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents. I said I’m sorry to hear that and he then went on a 5min torrent of ranting about his ex! Which was awkward! He then said ‘’ this is a nice house, do you own it?’’

is it just me who thinks this is a weird question to ask someone? It’s like he was trying to suss out my financial situation. Maybe I’m just overthinking it but it seems like a really strange question to ask someone you don’t even know that well?

AIBU to think this is cheeky f*kery? 🤑

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 24/11/2022 09:36

he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents.... He then said ‘’ this is a nice house, do you own it?’

How did the conversation go after that? As presumably you replied, he said something else and so on. I think it's an unusual question but it depends on what happened next.

SalviaOfficinalis · 24/11/2022 09:36

Depends on context but I think the housing/rental market is a fairly standard topic of conversation.

Maybe a slightly odd way to phrase it. But you probably would have been equally offended if he’d said “are you renting?”

For me it’s more enquiring if you’re going to be living there temporarily or longer term than assessing your finances.

MaryMcCarthy · 24/11/2022 09:34

I wouldn't have the cheek to ask, but that doesn't mean I don't respect, on some level, when someone's brash enough to ask. I don't think it's taboo and I don't think it's anywhere near as cheeky as asking how much someone earns.

user374698 · 24/11/2022 09:33

The title not the post

user374698 · 24/11/2022 09:33

It is cheeky and not a sort of thing you would ask a casual acquaintance. As an aside your OP reads a bit like you are asking posters if they are home owners.

Tillsforthrills · 24/11/2022 09:31

It’s downright and utterly rude to enquire about how much people earn or whether they own their home.

MaryMcCarthy · 24/11/2022 09:29

It's perfectly normal to be curious about that sort of thing. Everyone is trying to suss out everyone else's financial situation to some extent. We like to compare ourselves to our peers.

AriettyHomily · 24/11/2022 09:29

Overthinking a little. I would imagine depending on your answer he was going on to ask you about the market if he is going to have to look for a new house.

Autumnalleavestime · 24/11/2022 09:27

I think you’re over thinking it, honestly. Everyone is so sensitive now. I doubt he was trying to suss out your financials. Why would he give a shit. He was just curious if it was owned

Cwcwbird · 24/11/2022 09:26

Yeah, it's a weird question. Nosy and irrelevant, why does he need to know if you're renting or not? Coming off the back of a rant about his ex I'd feel even more uncomfortable!