Is it cheeky to ask if you’re a homeowner?

Agreed. Rent payments can be double what someone's mortgage payments would be. Renting a 4 bed house is far more expensive than owning it and paying the mortgage. You also don't know if that's their only property. They could be renting a house short term for a work secondment but own 5 other houses. Someone could own their house but it was already paid off and inherited from a relative.

I don't think knowing whether someone rents or owns gives you an accurate idea of their salary.

It would be weird where I come from, but it’s very common where I am now (SE commuter belt). I found it hard at first; everyone asks where you live and if you rent etc. In London it’s a normal topic of conversation with people you’ve just met.

I think you're overthinking this. I think he went on his rant, realised he was ranting and tried to rein it in with a poorly thought out question.

I wouldn't have even given this a second thought.

You’ll never get a definitive answer for this. People just have different personalities and some people ask more curious questions. It’s hardly a rude thing to ask, you were “catching up”

Would I be right in guessing that you rent?
I don't think it's a cheeky question considering how open he was to you about his ex. It's on public record if he wanted to know who owns the house and how much was paid for it anyway. Housing must be on his mind considering his situation so not a question totally out of the blue. I think you were too sensitive. Even if he asked how much you paid for it, again it's public information.

Yes, a very strange question to ask someone out of the blue. Different to “do you live here”

I remember someone asking me the same. It turned out she was looking to rent, and wanted to know what she could get in the area. Could it be that he's planning ahead and trying to scope out rent prices?

People at work who I barely know have asked about my housing situation and I haven't been offended. They were just curious and didn't mind telling them - what harm has that done me?.

People talk about housing, it's a common topic of conversation.

Is there a North-South divide here? Are Northerners more open with this stuff?

No I wouldn't find it odd at all but I'm in Ireland and a bit of a housing crisis going on so a lot of this is a general talking point. For example any of the families in DCs classes who rent are paying at least double what my mortgage is. I know two families who are currently saving for a house deposit so these things are general talking points. I wouldn't think the size of your house reflects your current income . A lot depends on when you bought or if you'd sold a house previously etc etc

Somewhat ironic that you feel the need to tell the world that you own a 4 bedroom house, but feel that it's 'cheeky fuckery' to ask.

It wouldn’t bother me if someone asked me, but then I wouldn’t ask someone else as I wouldn’t be interested. There’s not really any reason someone would want to know other than just being nosy.

I think youre over thinking it and feeling weird about it because of the rant about his ex. I think the question is about working out if you’ve settled there so not necessarily about finances. I think it's a normal question. Maybe he just asked a question to change the subject from his ex as he realised he got ranty.

I've been asked this many times over the years. To me it's just part of the convo. In the past when I've said I'm renting the conversation goes down a certain way eg 'are you hoping to stay in the area, do you like it here' etc
I cant be arsed to find it rude or get worked up by it.🤷‍♀️

"No, we're squatters!" and a knowing wink would see him on his merry way.

Hmmmm. I don't know. They way you describe it, it does sound a bit odd. On the other hand, I know I have sometimes asked people who I have only just met in our village if they are renting at the moment, but that will be because something they have said has given me the impression they are still undecided about staying or are still looking for a different house and I just want to clarify. I wouldn't just ask it out of the blue!

Yes, it’s a strange question to ask someone, especially a casual acquaintance.

I’ve been asked it a few times over the years, once by an Uber driver, who then asked how much my mortgage was!

It’s just not something I would ever think to ask anyone.

It's an inappropriate question to ask considering how stuff upper lipped society has become. However, I don't think he's trying to suss you out. If he's open enough to tell you he's moving back to his parents and to rant about his ex. I'd imagine he's just an open book.
I think we should encourage more authentic meaningful conversations - people are yearning to feel more connected.

My point is though that it’s none of their business and they don’t have a right to ask so they can assess anything.

Yes, I think it's weird to ask someone this, unless the context calls for it somehow.

I disagree, asking someone if they own a house is akin to asking what their salary is.

God it really isn't! Anyone assessing my salary from the value of my home would be massively disappointed by the meagre reality.

I think it is a bit cheeky but some people don't know what's cheeky and what's not.

A friend of mine was visibly annoyed when she visited my house that we own because it's bigger than hers. She couldn't understand how we could own a bigger house than her when she and her husband are "professionals" and my husband and I do more working class jobs.

I was pretty gobsmacked at the attitude to be honest.

I think it is sort of ok in this case because you know each other a long time, and he has just told you that he is having to move back with his parents, and is presumably thinking about his own long term housing situation. On the other hand it could just be a precursor to another rant about how he is losing his family home, so I would try and move the conversation along.
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I disagree, asking someone if they own a house is akin to asking what their salary is.

I got friendly with a driving instructor when I was younger and was taken aback by her asking whether I owned my home, i spluttered yes I do and then she went on to ask what type of mortgage I had!