Is it cheeky to ask if you’re a homeowner?

Badly worded but the same as 'is it yours' so no, not cheeky/rude.

It's nosey but I don't think he's trying to suss your finances out.

He sounds in a weird place, don't overthink it.

I think this is fine in this context.

You grew up with him? So he isn't a total stranger. It's a bit like going to one of those high school reunions - people are curious how everyone got on , who moved to Australia, who's had three wives already, jobs, babies, etc.

Also it's a village! I like knowing who is who in my village, who's related to who, who lives where, etc. I think it's just an extension of this really. Maybe it's nosy, or seems nosy to city people anyway. But it doesn't come from a place of nastiness. Mostly I want to chat to people when I bump into them, and questions are part of that. I wouldn't mind if someone asked me if we owned our house, or when we bought it, or how on earth did we manage to afford it, or whatever. It's just chat.

I might've asked "is it yours?" if someone was gardening outside a house, in the sense of "do you live here?" rather than are you gardening for someone else, either as a paid job, or as a favour to family / friends / someone who can't do their own gardening. But the answer to that should be "yes", whether it's owned or rented, so it should be less intrusive. Asking if you own it is either a very clunky attempt to ask if you live there, badly executed, or very nosy indeed.

I've had plenty of people ask me if I own my home, and I always find it intrusive. My ownership / mortgage status is nobody's business but mine!

I would find it incredibly nosy and cheeky. Why would you ask somebody that? I don't know anyone who would ask that kind of question.

This is peak British ridiculousness 🤣

The only time i've ever been asked that question is when i was renting.

I did find it rude and intrusive, especially as i knew that i was in the minority in that area and that a lot of locals were stuck up looked down on renters.

I'm not renting now and no one ever asks!

I would’ve just smiled and said ‘ thank you very much , yes we own it ‘ .

It's nosy but not weird. It's a huge 'issue' at the moment with many people who may have always expected their whole lives to own like their parents suddenly realising it may not happen. The conversation around owning vs renting is everywhere you look. So I can see why someone would ask. It may have been an odd question 10 years ago.

Like with anything, I don't know why you care. You either tell the truth or say 'none of your business' and move on. We didn't need the monologue about your 4 bed village life.

It is a little forward, but I don’t think it is rude as such. It is mild interest.

Not a question I've ever been worried about answering. Seems a strange thing to be offended by.

You rent op? Is that it? You didn’t want to admit it to him?

Going off at a tangent here but you sound like you're apologising for owning your home. I get very frustrated with people saying they have things because they're "lucky". Unless you won it in a raffle or from lottery winnings you probably were able to buy because you've worked hard for a good salary and/or been sensible with money or unlucky enough to have lost family and gained an inheritance.

On the other hand I do believe you can be unlucky and just because you don't own your home does not mean you are feckless and unworthy. I think my point is that you shouldn't have to be embarrassed to be a home owner or a tenant.

Not really.

I'd be FAR more disconcerted about the ex-rant, & probably would have told him to STFU.

Not sure why house ownership needs to be a private matter. I mean - obvs it can be if you want it to be - but it seems an odd thing to take away from a conversation with an angry acquaintance. Lots of people talk like this in chat-mode - do you own or rent, how long have you lived here, etc.

As an aside your OP reads a bit like you are asking posters if they are home owners.
Yes, I too wondered "why is a random asking other randoms if they own their home?"
Guilty as charged, OP!

I don’t think it’s that rude, seeing as you’d known him for a very long time. It would be rude from a more random person though, like a judgement.

I think it can be quite a normal question depending on the context. I was outside pottering around when the new neighbour came and said hello. He asked how long we had been there and if we rented or had bought. I was wasn’t offended!

agree with this statement “God it really isn't! Anyone assessing my salary from the value of my home would be massively disappointed by the meagre reality”. We are mortgage free, and if people found out they would probably think we are quite well off, the reality is we bought a small house, when the prices were low, and never moved up to the next “rung of the ladder”. No need, as we don’t have kids. We are actually both on very average salaries, and just got lucky with our circumstances. And no, I do not going round telling people that I have no mortgage, before anyone says I am bragging 😬

I don't think it's an unusual question in the correct context (this probably wasn't an appropriate context, given the rant). I think it's much nicer to inquire in polite conversation than to assume. Dh and I look quite young for our age and we have quite a nice house, which I think most people would assume we couldn't afford to own. The number of times we've had people wander on past who have stopped for a chat (we live on a footpath), who stop to ask us about the house or the farm or the area, etc. and then we get a 'oh, so you rent from the landowners then?' We are the landowners. Dh has just started saying, 'oh yes, they're very lovely folks, you might see them around when you walk back through this afternoon.' 😂

Normal question where I live so I wouldn’t be offended

yes but I find these days so many people get offended by a lot so I generally try to minimize conversation for this very reason. Just looking at some of the posts here confirm this, you'd swear he was out to fleece her by some of the responses.

Normal question where I live so I wouldn’t be offended.

Somewhat ironic that you feel the need to tell the world that you own a 4 bedroom house, but feel that it's 'cheeky fuckery' to ask

she's doing it on an anonymous forum though so it's totally different. The point of mn is we can voice our thoughts and secrets knowing that it's anonymous.

It isn't something I would ask, but I wouldn't be offended if people asked me because it says nothing about someone's financial situation, expecially as renting can be more expenaive than paying a mortgage. I have a couple of friends who move around for work. They are tenants in the homes they live in, but own small houses in home towns. Tenant farmers do similar. I wonder if he meant is as is this your permanent home?

I don't think knowing whether someone rents or owns gives you an accurate idea of their salary

agreed and many people get mortgages through inheritances or family help.

I think he asked spontaneously and you are looking into this far too much. I wouldn't think too much of it.

People here saying it's like asking your salary are being totally ott.

I didn’t think it’s that odd. People ask me what rate mortgage I’m on all the time! - it’s a very current topic of conversation.

I recently spent some time with someone who I didn’t know very well and to pass the time we literally discussed their recent house sales, what rates they are being offered, what I got at my last re-mortgage, what rental prices are now, the fact that they are renting until they find the right place etc. I barely know this person. It was the only topic really we could find where we all have a vested interest and something to say.