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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it cheeky to ask if you’re a homeowner?

110 replies

Shutthegatepeter · 24/11/2022 09:22

I moved back to the village I grew up in just over 5 years ago. I lived here until I went to uni, moved away for 17 years, and now I’m back. This time I’m no longer living with my parents, I’m here with my husband and our 3 kids. We have a nice 4 bed home, it’s nothing really fancy or huge but we’re very lucky as it’s a lovely modest home in a nice area. I was out doing some gardening yesterday and bumped into someone who I went to high school with, sort of grew up with but we weren’t close or anything, but I’ve known him since we were in primary school together and we occasionally hung around with each other as teenagers. We started chatting, the usual long time no see, how are you etc. I told him I’m married now with 3 kids, he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents. I said I’m sorry to hear that and he then went on a 5min torrent of ranting about his ex! Which was awkward! He then said ‘’ this is a nice house, do you own it?’’

is it just me who thinks this is a weird question to ask someone? It’s like he was trying to suss out my financial situation. Maybe I’m just overthinking it but it seems like a really strange question to ask someone you don’t even know that well?

AIBU to think this is cheeky f*kery? 🤑

OP posts:
JulieMarooley · 25/11/2022 11:03

I'd have forgotten this in the next breath.

Me too. Most people are not 100% perfect in everything they say, best not to over-analyse.

PhilomenaPringle · 25/11/2022 10:30

If you haven't been around for 17 years, no doubt he'd be surprised to see you in a garden in his locality. I imagine he meant, do you live here now? Rather than wanting to know if you owned the house. You could have been helping out someone else in their garden.

I'd have forgotten this in the next breath.

Original poster
Shutthegatepeter · 25/11/2022 10:11

As everyone is so very invested, I own this home, and I still own my old house. My old home I rent out, and the rent is a lot more than the mortgage is! This class discrimination against people who rent is quite shocking, as a lot of us homeowners have been handed our homes through inheritance! My tenants earn more per month than I do!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shutthegatepeter · 25/11/2022 10:09

Autumnalleavestime · 25/11/2022 04:50

No but you don’t say you own it and no one hides owning.🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

What if they own more than one house, and have tenants in their other house, that they own? Would they hide that? 🤔

OP posts:
LadyOfTheCanyon · 25/11/2022 08:26

I mean he can look it up on Zoopla if he wants to know the price.

So many people have a massive stick up their arse about other people knowing anything to do with their finances.

Ireolu · 25/11/2022 07:57

I got asked by a school mum how much we paid for our house. Followed on from how long we had lived in said house. I was not offended, the info is very easily found on the Internet. Yes it's nosey but it's not a big deal. And although OP has not been explicit about if they own or rent I don't think the acquaintance really cared. He was probably just making passing conversation.

emptythelitterbox · 25/11/2022 05:36

People can be really strange.
I was selling something on marketplace and when she came in she had the cheek to ask if she could take pictures of my home and asked how much I paid for it.

GregariousGregory · 25/11/2022 05:25

Autumnalleavestime · 25/11/2022 04:50

No but you don’t say you own it and no one hides owning.🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

Exactly this, homeowners wouldn't skirt around the question or be triggered by it.

BiscuitTinBallerina · 25/11/2022 05:24

There is nothing wrong with being a renter but British obsession with homeownership is well known. I think your reaction sounds like you wanted to have the upper hand and to seem like you are doing better than him in life. You've not seen him for ages, maybe he was an arsehole to you at high school and you were feeling superior during that chat until he asked about your home which might be a soft spot for you because again, British obsession with homeownership maybe you have insecurity about being a renter?

Autumnalleavestime · 25/11/2022 04:50

Shutthegatepeter · 24/11/2022 22:33

I don't think there is any shame in renting, what makes you think it's shameful? I haven't said that I'm renting 😉

No but you don’t say you own it and no one hides owning.🤷🏻‍♀️

midsomermurderess · 24/11/2022 22:33

No, given that you were talking about where you were in your lives, a rant about his ex notwithstanding.

Original poster
Shutthegatepeter · 24/11/2022 22:33

I don't think there is any shame in renting, what makes you think it's shameful? I haven't said that I'm renting 😉

OP posts:
Frazzledmummy123 · 24/11/2022 22:30

cookiesbeforepookies · 24/11/2022 15:20

YABU. He’s just separated from someone so may have left ex-partner to live in house with his kids or has had to sell the property to share equity with ex-partner or has had to leave a rental.

Naturally housing is going to be uppermost in his mind and he asked you about your house.

You seem a bit smug that you have a nice 4 bed house whereas he is moving back in with his parents.

And stop misusing the term Cheeky Fucker. A cheeky fucker would have asked to move in to your house whilst he gets on his feet.

Show quote history

What has the op said that makes her sound smug?
I rent and I am very reactive to homeowners making smug comments, and I didn't see anything in this post which sounded smug. She stated that she owned a 4 bed house as a fact as it was relevant to the post?

Frazzledmummy123 · 24/11/2022 22:25

It is a bit odd to ask that, however I think it was more sheer noseyness than anything else. He was being nosey to find out how well you have done for yourself.

Autumnalleavestime · 24/11/2022 21:47

I don’t think there is any shame in renting, would you have been the same if you owned?

Gwenhwyfar · 24/11/2022 21:45

I think it's a totally normal question to ask. People ask me all the time. It's totally relevant. If you're talking about issues with your home the suggestions will vary depending on whether you own your home or not.

Bleachmycloths · 24/11/2022 21:41

Cheeky.

Original poster
Shutthegatepeter · 24/11/2022 21:39

cookiesbeforepookies · 24/11/2022 15:20

YABU. He’s just separated from someone so may have left ex-partner to live in house with his kids or has had to sell the property to share equity with ex-partner or has had to leave a rental.

Naturally housing is going to be uppermost in his mind and he asked you about your house.

You seem a bit smug that you have a nice 4 bed house whereas he is moving back in with his parents.

And stop misusing the term Cheeky Fucker. A cheeky fucker would have asked to move in to your house whilst he gets on his feet.

Show quote history

😂 😂

OP posts:
shivawn · 24/11/2022 15:37

No, I've often been asked if I'm renting or own the place. Doesn't trouble me at all to be asked.

Freshmind001 · 24/11/2022 15:35

Sounds like casual chat, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone ask that question. I can see what you mean by it sounds like he's trying to figure your financial status.

roseanna · 24/11/2022 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cookiesbeforepookies · 24/11/2022 15:20

Shutthegatepeter · 24/11/2022 09:22

I moved back to the village I grew up in just over 5 years ago. I lived here until I went to uni, moved away for 17 years, and now I’m back. This time I’m no longer living with my parents, I’m here with my husband and our 3 kids. We have a nice 4 bed home, it’s nothing really fancy or huge but we’re very lucky as it’s a lovely modest home in a nice area. I was out doing some gardening yesterday and bumped into someone who I went to high school with, sort of grew up with but we weren’t close or anything, but I’ve known him since we were in primary school together and we occasionally hung around with each other as teenagers. We started chatting, the usual long time no see, how are you etc. I told him I’m married now with 3 kids, he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents. I said I’m sorry to hear that and he then went on a 5min torrent of ranting about his ex! Which was awkward! He then said ‘’ this is a nice house, do you own it?’’

is it just me who thinks this is a weird question to ask someone? It’s like he was trying to suss out my financial situation. Maybe I’m just overthinking it but it seems like a really strange question to ask someone you don’t even know that well?

AIBU to think this is cheeky f*kery? 🤑

YABU. He’s just separated from someone so may have left ex-partner to live in house with his kids or has had to sell the property to share equity with ex-partner or has had to leave a rental.

Naturally housing is going to be uppermost in his mind and he asked you about your house.

You seem a bit smug that you have a nice 4 bed house whereas he is moving back in with his parents.

And stop misusing the term Cheeky Fucker. A cheeky fucker would have asked to move in to your house whilst he gets on his feet.

Retrorose · 24/11/2022 15:18

It’s a bit rude. Why didn’t he just look the house up on zoopla when he got home like I do when chatting to friends about their homes like a normal nosey neighbour.

Wifflywafflywoo · 24/11/2022 14:58

I used to get asked a lot if I own my house. There's a couple of houses down from me that are rentals and have a fairly regular (every 5 years or so) change up of tenants. In contrast the other houses are mostly owned by people who bought them new in the 60s, I moved into mine about 15 years ago when I was fairly young so I guess I was a bit of a point of interest for a few seconds.

So yeh, could be an odd nosey question or like my case, still nosey but not so odd when you looked at the circumstances.

justanotherthrowawayname · 24/11/2022 13:32

I think the information he shared about his ex was more personal than whether you rent or own. Clearly he thinks you have an older/closer friendship than you do.