What to do with male neighbour

Have to say my ds used to feel very much like you Deemarie11 friendly to him was creepy and intrusive. He does not trust people and would prefer to be left alone though he has good friends locally and further away he is just very wary and selective in who he is pally with, and this especially applies to neighbours. he values his privacy. If you move you’re not guaranteed to get neighbours like your friend and even if you did, neighbours can move without a word of warning.

I have exactly the same thing OP, except it's my neighbour two doors down.

I have a gravel driveway and he keeps his front door open (directly into his front room) so he can hear when I drive in. Its so horrible. I have to run into the house to get away from him and repeat in reverse in the mornings (he listen's out for the sound of me unlocking the car). We're very close to town but I have to walk around the long way to avoid going past his house. He can talk for hours.

And yes, I have tried being directly rude to him (and completely blanking him) but I think he likes it and sees it as a challenge.

I plan to move in the spring and he's the main reason.

@Deemarie11 I totally hear you. You are not being unreasonable. I would get the property up for sale asap. Do you Carry a rape alarm or have you ever studied self defence? Might seem OTT but I would always air on the side of caution.
so sorry that you can’t relax in your own garden.

Point proven I think!

I don't call in on anyone and expect to be invited in, nor do have randoms knocking on my door expecting to come in. I do however answer the door if someone knocks- sometimes it's the neighbour asking for a bit of help with her internet, sometimes it's the gardener coming to collect his money, sometimes it's a kid asking to get the ball they kicked over the fence, sometimes it's someone collecting for charity, sometimes it's a friend dropping off a gift, sometimes it's a parcel delivery, etc. Yet I've seen plenty of posters saying they ignore all knocks on their door- which is odd to me!

Fucking hell! 😂

Actually @OneTC it's his position that isn't the standard one.

Most neighbours give each other space, privacy and peace. Read between the lines, work out who wants chat and who doesn't and proceed from that.

His position of overengaging with her at every opportunity is very odd and disturbing, given that all she wants to do is a bit of gardening.

Exactly this. ^ ALWAYS trust your senses and instincts. If the OP feels something is 'off,' and quite weird about this man, she is probably not wrong.

You sure can tell the women on here who have never been hounded and harassed by a weird and creepy man who won't leave them alone! Don't assume because it's never happened to YOU that it doesn't happen to other women.

The OP is stressed and upset about this man badgering her ... STOP fucking minimising her fears and worries!

With this update about the noise - move house.

You're not over reacting. Sometimes you can just tell.

Yeah funny that isn't it?

Your position isn't the standard one really when it comes to neighbours so you just need to tell him to fuck off otherwise hell just persist with the neighbourliness

@Cantthinkofausername01 ?

Oh please do stop @ me! I've said what I've said and I stand by it.

You should not have to put up with this. He may be lonely, he may be pervy, he may lack how to read social clues - who cares? Its not up to you to deal with it.
If it was me I would be very direct indeed next time. Don;t smile. Face him square on, look him directly in the eye, and say "I don't want to talk to you at all in future. Stop coming over to speak to me in my garden. I don't want to talk to you!"
No need to explain or say anything else at all - that is enough. If he tries to argue with you, ignore. If he disregards it in future, that is harassment and you can take it up with the police. Don't speak to him at all after this speech.
If he takes it out on you with loud music for a few days or weeks, it will be a price worth paying as he will soon get fed up with having to do it. You can record it and get the council to take noise action if necessary.
Be assertive OP Do not even think of letting hin drive you out of your space. If you get this message over to him loud and clear with no room for doubt, the problem is more likely to go away than if you do nothing. He is likely a bully and the only way is to stand up to them. We have been conditioned to smile and be nice etc. etc. but men like this exploit that fact, so the only way is to be tough about our boundaries.
The ring doorbell is a good idea in case you need evidence in future.

In addition to that ^ some people work from home still, and are possibly 'at work' when random popper-inners knock and expect people to drop everything for them! Oh but we must BE KIND and let these entitled individuals in!

@Cantthinkofausername01 Oh, I take it all back. He's lonely!

That is, of course, something that OP, a complete stranger who happens to live next door to mr saddo, should take on as her problem to solve, despite the fact that she doesn't know him from Adam.

To do otherwise is so mean and "man-bashing" (interesting choice of word, there, given the statistics around male violence towards women. Apparently we're bashing them!!).

And no, these threads don't get boring. I love hearing women's collective rage and advice and support when it comes to these pests, it's like blood to a vampire for me. But if you find it boring, maybe Mumsnet isn't the place for you?

Oh YAWWWWNNNNNNN. 😩 What a pathetic, tedious, and predictable response. Do grow up. 🙄 Nobody has to open the door to ANYone they are not expecting. No matter how entitled and demanding that person is. And how insistent they are that they come in, despite not being invited, and totally intruding on that person's time, and their day.

Not to mention the fact they are very likely in the middle of something/busy/on the way out. People like you are the reason many people DON'T answer the door to randoms turning up uninvited! Entitled much?! I am guessing you're projecting, and are a 'popper inner' and have had people turn you away or not answer the door. And are secretly peeved.

WELL TELL HIM THEN!

No point coming on here moaning about it if you haven't told him you dont want to talk to him!

I could see your point if you were coming on to tell us 'ive told my creepy neighbour to stop trying to be friendly but he just wont listen

@Deemarie11 I know it sound batty but my suggestion upthread worked for me. Who cares what he thinks?
Have you spoken about him with other neighbours?

OMG! Your next door neighbour dared to attempt friendly conversation with you! I'd be calling the police and reporting him! 😂

Is it man bashing to say one creepy overbearing neighbour makes you uncomfortable?
OP, it's not him it's you.

As a previous poster said put earphones on when you’re in your front garden. How annoying for you.