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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want to go to my work Christmas party?

131 replies

TwoTimTams · 09/11/2022 10:12

Work in a large government organisation. Colleagues are fine, some I know reasonably well, others I haven’t said more than hello to once or twice.

Our work Christmas party is at one of our other locations a 1 hour drive away. Work is paying. I don’t want to go, it’s outside my normal work hours as an early dinner. I will be there anyway due to having to attend a team event earlier that day but I don’t want to stay for the party. I dislike social situations particularly in a work environment, and while I don’t mind going out to the odd quick lunch with my workmates the politics of a work Christmas party are tedious and I can’t be arsed with it.

But people seem to love their work Christmas parties, I figure I must be weird and in the minority otherwise we wouldn’t be having them. Does everyone else actually LIKE their work Christmas party?

AIBU - I’m being boring and work Christmas parties are a social calendar highlight in permanent marker

YANBU - work Christmas parties are a form of torture, so yeah nah, washing my hair instead

OP posts:
TitsInAbsentia · 09/11/2022 14:02

I don't mind smaller (team) ones but I'm definitely swerving our whole company do, I've already laid the groundwork on my 'reason'!

Ihavedogs · 09/11/2022 13:54

Ours were always organised way after I had already booked up for other events, or had other commitments organised already for December so I never attended an evening event.

Generally my idea of hell though,

Work lunches were much more pleasant events.

Sewfedupofcovid · 09/11/2022 13:50

My DH mother always has her Christmas family get together that day as she will be abroad at DH’s DB home for Christmas. It’s amazing isn’t it that it’s always the same date. Lol.

CKL987 · 09/11/2022 13:49

I enjoy my work Christmas parties but if there is ever a work social I don't fancy I won't go. It wouldn't even cross my mind that I should consider going. Nobody is judged at my work for not going to the work Christmas party or any other social event, even those within work hours.

MrsMoastyToasty · 09/11/2022 13:47

I think that you have a couple of options.

  1. Decline
  2. Accept but leave early citing a previous commitment (with Coronation Street).
KimberleyClark · 09/11/2022 13:44

*large, not late.

ChakaKhanfan · 09/11/2022 13:44

pishkashante · 09/11/2022 13:04

I don't want to go as I've discovered I'm paid 10%-20% less than colleagues in the same role.

But we are small team so it will be noticed and it will be noted...

Torn.

That’s shit, is there opportunity to bring this up?
My best friend just got a promotion in a very white male led industry and she asked for a pay rise (beyond what was being offered for this promotion- they said yes), I found it so inspiring, but she simply said “no I know my worth”
Know your worth! ☺️

KimberleyClark · 09/11/2022 13:43

I liked my work colleagues well enough. But struggled in late group situations in noisy places where I always ended up on the outside of any group and couldn’t really hear what was being said. And it’s wonderful to not have the worry of finding something to wear.

ChakaKhanfan · 09/11/2022 13:41

I work alone, my Christmas parties are the best, I always have a great time 😁
you couldn’t drag me to a big works party. It’s too much small talk and it’s pointless.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/11/2022 13:38

Ah the painful irony. I adore work Christmas parties and we're not having one this year, nor ever again I doubt!

JauntyJinty · 09/11/2022 13:36

Just becasue other people enjoy their Christmas parties it doesn't mean you have to go to yours

Sunbird24 · 09/11/2022 13:27

I really like pretty much all of my work colleagues, and would happily hang out with some of them, go for a meal or whatever (and sometimes do), but the thought of our Christmas party just makes me incredibly anxious, as it’ll be all about drinking, with competitive fancy dress and silly games/races. If it was just lunch I’d be fine, but I know I can’t cope with the other stuff so I’m planning on taking extra time off around Christmas to avoid it. I’ve still got loads of days to take and none of my family live anywhere near me so the extra travel time seems a reasonable excuse.

PinkButtercups · 09/11/2022 13:23

I never went.
I didn't particularly like who I worked with so socialising with them outside of the hours I worked? Absolutely effing not 🥂.

Oneofthosewsillydays · 09/11/2022 13:17

It also largely depends on who you work with. I'm guessing you aren't too fond of your colleagues. I went to my Christmas parties but only because I became good friends with acouple of my colleagues; f it wasn't for them, I'd definately not have gone with the others!

luckylavender · 09/11/2022 13:17

You go or you don't go, that's being an adult. It's not an AIBU though.

Oneofthosewsillydays · 09/11/2022 13:13

If you have dc, childcare is always the best excuse that nobody can argue with.

FourChimneys · 09/11/2022 13:12

One of the best things about running my own business is the fact that I don't have to think up an excuse to avoid a party.

onmytenthcoffee · 09/11/2022 13:12

pishkashante · 09/11/2022 13:05

It means being a bore.

Show quote history

That's just another way of saying the same thing.

balalake · 09/11/2022 13:11

Politely decline and don't wait. You can work with excellent people but don't have to socialize with them

pishkashante · 09/11/2022 13:05

onmytenthcoffee · 09/11/2022 12:39

I don't understand how "being boring" is an objective thing.

Surely if you find something boring it's boring, and if you find something exciting it's exciting?

What is "being boring"?

It means being a bore.

xogossipgirlxo · 09/11/2022 13:05

pishkashante · 09/11/2022 13:04

I don't want to go as I've discovered I'm paid 10%-20% less than colleagues in the same role.

But we are small team so it will be noticed and it will be noted...

Torn.

What a shit 😥

I'm not going to ours either. I found out what the venue is and no, thank you. My work was late with booking anything decent.

pishkashante · 09/11/2022 13:04

I don't want to go as I've discovered I'm paid 10%-20% less than colleagues in the same role.

But we are small team so it will be noticed and it will be noted...

Torn.

RedAppleGirl · 09/11/2022 12:59

We had ours not long ago. I love them, plenty of food, good to catch up, and a bit of a dance. However some men have been bollocked for offering their room keys and one chap, physically touched up an employee at 2 am without consent.

onmytenthcoffee · 09/11/2022 12:39

I don't understand how "being boring" is an objective thing.

Surely if you find something boring it's boring, and if you find something exciting it's exciting?

What is "being boring"?

Cuck00soup · 09/11/2022 12:28

YABBU to not want to go. I'm curious as to what Gov dept you work for that is paying though. The NHS certainly don't. Yes, I know that's not the point of the thread.

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