AIBU to not want to go to my work Christmas party?

I’m the same. I’m so pleased I’m not the only one. Before I had my kids I used to go to them and then one year I drank a bit too much and I made a tit out of myself so I decided not to attend them anymore. then I got a job after having my kids that I really loved and all of my colleagues were great it felt like we were a real team and had each others backs so I gave it another go and I really enjoyed my Christmas do’s especially when it was just going out for a meal and everyone was in the same boat they had to drive home as all of their partners were at home with the kids, then we got a new line manager and she was awful bullying everyone and she drove me out in the end and no-one wanted to attend the Christmas party that year. Then I started a new job and I decided to stop the work Christmas parties all together, especially now I’m working in a school and their not small department parties their for the whole organisation and I only work part time so I don’t know everyone and I have to make small talk and they always land on a Friday night and now on Fridays my husband goes and does Archery after we have dinner for a few hours and as soon as I put the kids to bed, I sit down with a glass of wine, chocolate and a good film and it’s bliss and unless im actually invited to an event I actually want to go to I wouldn’t give it up for anything especially now that I have a full time job. I’m sure you mothers would agree that getting me time is precious and now I use my kids as the get out of jail free card and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

I remember booking theatre tickets and even organising a church Christmas meal that day to avoid them. I remember going to them the last I went to was a mediocre meal. Plus a cab there and back then the music was so loud for the disco I was deaf. Then you have to stay a decent time. In the end I just said no. It got more expensive so I had a good excuse.

If they start at lunchtime, it isn't so bad. At least can just leave after the working day finishes.

I used to come up with excuses in my 20s 30s and early 40s then one day something clicked.....i just started to say nope not going and left it at that. When pushed id say something like its not my thing but i wouldnt concoct some other plan as an excuse. Yes 2 hours a year is my idea of hell. I dont even like them they arent my friends i work with them i humour them i tolerate them.im there for the money i earn doing work they need doing and they pay me for my knowledge. I think many people are under the illusion that there is an expectation to attend and that to not go in some way puts you at a disadvantage or puts you in a bad light......i dont follow that belief at all.

Some people this year are even forking out £100 on hotels for the night! Its work the next day too........id sooner be tucked up at home watching tv not putting on a fake smile with the people who happen to work at the same place as me. Its a job simple. Now its those people whose xmas doos start at lunchtime that I feel sorry for as ypu have no choice on a workday unlike one that kicks off in the evening.....just learn to say No if you donr fancy going and above all dont feel any guilt or shame or pressure to go.

I enjoy work parties as my colleagues are nice and we are a small team, but YANBU for not enjoying them and not going. I've also been to some pretty boring ones in other organisations in the past.

Secret Santa is appalling. Loads of crap you don’t want.

Ours is tonight and I would rather sit at home with DH and share a bottle wine and be together. We have a secret Santa - I bloody hate secret Santa .. why can’t we just go and enjoy drinks without a bloody secret Santa and lots speeches! Feeling very curmudgeonly today!

' french exit '.......love it

I used to make up excuses for why I couldn’t go. Now, I just tell people I don’t want to.

The joys of nearing retirement …

I wouldn’t go if I didn’t want to, although I most probably would as an opportunity to meet colleagues I hardly know.

I’m lucky to work with nice people and we all get on, which is why I’ll be going to 2/3 work Christmas gatherings.

I moved jobs back to my old employer a few months ago as the colleagues at my previous job were toxic. I wouldn’t be going to that Christmas party if I was still there. I told them to stick it when they suggested a leaving lunch for me.

Ours is a Christmas lunch in the middle of an onsite meeting day, we all WFH and I'm a fairly new temp and I don't want to go. I'm banking on the fact that as a temp, no one will miss me being there.

I’d rather poke my own eyes out with cocktail sticks than attend mine. I’d already made up excuses about travelling away for Christmas (mine is the afternoon/evening of my last working day before annual leave at Christmas) but the only flaw was the risk of being seen by a colleague in the supermarket etc having supposedly ‘gone away’. I was giving serious consideration to spending my whole holiday avoiding public places just to avoid the Christmas do!

imagine my delight when the invite comes through and it just happens to be the last day of term and DC breaks up at lunchtime. I was so relieved I did a happy dance!

I’d love to be honest and say I don’t want to attend because as an introvert and very anxious person those type of events get me worked up to the point I’m physically ill!

i hate work parties, christmas or otherwise.

I only like work do's if they are during working hours - lunchtime is fine. I would probably be drained from the team event and just want to go home and relax. You are not boring just socially selective.

I hate work socialisations. I tend to go though because I am a wimp. But a couple of others do not. Two of my colleagues just flatly refuse. One says she doesn't want to and apparently has not attended in the decade or so she has worked there. The other just says quite openly 'why would i want to spend time with people I see all day as it is?' She's a bubbly type so she can get away with this without offence. I'm not sure I'd be able to!

But just say you can't. You need to get back. I doubt anyone really minds (except those who wish they could say the same!)

I used to work in a large organisation before being self employed. I didn’t go to them because I didn’t want to. That was the reason I gave. I got on with lots of people at work but just didn’t want to see most of them outside of work. If you don’t want to go then just don’t go.

Never been one for these kind of things. I worked an hour away from where I lived too so it always turned any kind of social situation into a bigger effort - one I just wasn't interested in.

I dread when dh comes home and tells me he wants us to go to his! I didn't like going to my own I don't like going to his any more than mine.

Public funds shouldn’t be used in this way in any country.

I generally avoid mine if at all possible. Local council so it's in our own time and we pay for our own food and drinks.

I have faked unfortunate clashes with school/child activities, lack of childcare for pickup and last year concern about rising covid rates risking me seeing my parents although they were actually going away for Christmas.

A simple I don't want to is met with incomprehension and sad faces.

My small team are pleasant but odd, as am I, so I prefer to avoid a series of awkward conversations and monologues while eating rubbish food.

I did recently go to a leaving party that was quite nice, I lasted 2 hours, circulated among the much wider group to chat to people I hadn't seen since pre covid and then happily caught the 8pm train home blaming child care.

In your situation it's a bit harder as you'll already be there and it's paid for. I'd either make an excuse well in advance or stay for the meal and leave straight after.

Ours is at the weekend and we have to pay for it ourselves. I can't believe anyone is going!!

OP has said they are not in the UK so maybe things are different where they are

This all day. Our tax should not be paying for Christmas parties.

You feel how you feel. Just don't go. It's not compulsory.

I don’t go to work parties. I don’t even bother giving an excuse anymore, just decline the invitation that comes through Outlook and that’s that. If anyone asks if I am going, I say no, without offering an explanation. If they follow up with ‘why’, I say I don’t feel like it. Job’s done. I am past feeling bad or like I have to explain myself. I go to work to earn money to pay the bills. Anything that is not directly related to my job is not worth the hassle. If going to the parties was compulsory, I’d go. Luckily it isn’t!

Do it! Sounds like a great idea!