To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

If you were actually a SAHM, can you not see how all this eouid come across though, FlamencoDance.

The way SAHMs get debated on here snd the way threads take off, you
would think they were doing something criminal! Being a SAHM is nothing remarkable at all. It's just looking after your own kids. Why all this fuss ?

You seem really bitter that I think both partners being able to be less stressed and less exhausted is conducive to a healthy relationship.

My grandmother was a housewife and SAHM, my mum worked very part time (2 days per week) and did all the domestic duties while my dad handled finances and bills. Is there a problem with this?

It comes to the same thing. You are asking for them to believe something they don't agree with. Be confident in your choices, they are yours. No one else can say they are good or better. They are yours. If you are asking for people not to comment, then it will never stop. It used to be that women who did work were disapproved of. That kind of judgment is over. The flip side is that being at home is not too special either.

Enjoy your life.

Not done to be nasty at all. If you say those who don't earn a wage aren't functional adults, then that includes SAHPs. I don't earn a wage. I haven't for 7. 5 years and probabky won't for several more. I didn't cease to be a functional adult the day I quit my job.

@cagliari

I think its weirder to presume people shouldn't or don't have opinions on a wide range of subjects.

Absolutely. But what would us old codgers know. Teenagers are the experts on life. No way you’d get divorced if you didn’t believe in it just because half of marriages end that way (more when people marry young). Anyway if there was any doubt the fact she has time to get dolled up because she’s unemployed will ensure lifelong marital bliss.

Yes but were your mother and grandmother lazy individuals expecting their husbands to graft their entire lives so they could remain well rested?

I get that and that's fine - I've never actually said everyone should be like me and my husband.

What I have said is that people shouldn't treat staying home like its the inferior choice.

@AMorningstar - but that is you. And your husband. It's clear that many men and women see it very differently, isn't it?

Everyone's ideal is different. You may be asking people to change their assumptions so you get respect for your choices. Life is not like that; there is no given respect. I think your threads are about that.

Ignorance. My mother married at 19 and my parents have been married for 40 years. My grandmother married at 18 and was happily married until my grandfather died in his 80s. I'm sorry that you have been exposed to shit relationships but that's not the norm nor the standard for everyone.

To you. Are you unaware that there are many ways to live a meaningful and fulfilled life outside of paid labour?

This is exactly what it feels like.

She has school age kids, so presumably she was barely out of her teens when she married. Yet somehow she is sure she made a stellar, mature, perfectly informed choice of partner, unlike all these other women whose marriages fall apart left and right 🥴

It brings something to your life though having a career. It’s a huge part of life you’re missing out on. But you’re young. You’ll learn

You cut out part of my quote to purposefully misrepresent what I was saying. Not nice .

What I said was I take no issue with stay at home parents, but I have zero respect for people who choose to be unemployed when they don't effectively have children to raise. Ergo, I don't see this latter category as functional adults. I have passed no such judgement on stay at home parents.

Can I try to explain it this way please..,,

I don't know what jobs people in here do, but let's say, for the sake of argument, somebody was an accountant. So there you are, living your day to day life - nothing remarkable at all, just getting on with it.

But then you come on MN Roth your coffee, and you see thread after thread most weeks about accountants. And when you click on them (because you think, "oh look a thread about accountants - that's me") - you see the same posters on those threads every time. Then you realise, these posters have absolutely nothing to do with accountants, have never met one and claim they would rather jump off s bluff than be one. But nevertheless, they have SOOOO MUCH TO SAY. about accountants. Not only that, but they have all kinds of notions about what their husbands must think, as well as s whole host of ideas about what you should be thinking and doing instead!

There you were, living your accountant life, thinking "nothing to see here." But you come on MN, as s mum, to a whole furore about a lifestyle that to you, is just basic normality. Can you say you would not find this a strange phenomenon? Would you not wonder why and how people could get so het up about your lifestyle, when it never occurred to you anyone would remotely care?

@AMorningstar is apparently in her 20s so must have been married for all of five minutes. But she 100% knows she won’t get divorced as she doesn’t believe in it.

Not in the sense of it bringing something to the relationship. My husband doesn't define himself by his job nor constantly talk about it

It's curious that you cannot imagine employment may also be such an investment in one's self

Someone asked why it would lead to a happier relationship. I said more time to invest in yourself and your partner is one advantage. You've taken it massively out of context and exaggerated what was said.

Except that's not true, is it?

I've answered you (as @TartanGirl1 said) every time you've asked.

And you've asked a lot

Yet every time there's another thread, back you come again. Saying I'm obsessed.
So for the final time. I'm not obsessed with sahms. The previous thread wasn't even about sahms. It was about housewives.I find gender politics interesting. Womens views on sexism and their role in society interesting. I like the clear cut debate of 2 opposing sides. I find the hypocrisy amusing. The backtracking and paradoxes even more so. I'm easily bored and don't like being bored. I like to keep mind active and engaged. I post on lots of other subjects.I dont have (and have repeatedly said so) a problem with any choice individual women make, crack on. Do what makes you happy. But don't pretend choices don't have wider societal impacts or that any choice is above judgement or criticism

Why do you care enough to not just comment once, but go on and on for days / months / years? It's very extreme.

Answer your own question. Or at the very least have the decency to acknowledge what I've actually said rather than the weird thing you've made up in your head.

I get and respect being a stay at home parent.... I think you need to earn your own living if you want to name yourself a functional adult
So you respect being a SAHP but don't think they're functional adults? Luckily the hospital who discharged a medically vulnerable baby to me accepted I was one. Clearly I shouldn't have been trusted with him, not being a functional adult myself

This. Also op from the other thread had a whole host of goady things to say such as how she has more energy for sex and to look nice for her dh because she hasn’t got a job (her dhs job apparently not interfering with his ability to look good or have sex). It was silly goady stuff, not anything to take seriously

You don't know shit though lol that's the point. You've made up stuff to fill the gaps because you think it will annoy me when I find it mildly amusing if anything. I've been gutted about being sick on Halloween but you're providing some entertainment so crack on.