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To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

867 replies

Alondra · 31/10/2022 11:55

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

OP posts:
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Autumndays123 · 31/10/2022 17:31

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:29

It's not sexist to prefer raising my own children and caring for my husband to working a career.

Caring for my husband. Vom.

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:30

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AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:30

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:26

@AMorningstar

Not forced to no. I never said that.

The majority of women do not want to be housewives.

The majority don't even want to be sahms

You've got no proof of this.

Most people if they had the money would give up work. Men and women.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:29

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It's not sexist to prefer raising my own children and caring for my husband to working a career.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:29

@cagliari

You sure do bang on an awful lot for someone who doesn't care.

You're literally horrified that anyone has a view you don't like

say about women looking after their own kids day to day

Yeah except nobody has actually even mentioned that.

They've only discussed the wider societal impacts of not working

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:28

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I disagree. Moral highroad is nonsense, it's a silencing tactic used to get people to shut up about bullying and abuse. Why should anyone have to sit and take it?

Eindaira · 31/10/2022 17:28

Personally I enjoy my days as a housewife more than my working days. For me, the benefit is that I don't have to work - simple as that. Work is shit, it depresses me, so being a SAH has greatly improved my general mental health. There was a period of time where I would work late evenings and some early nights while DH worked in the day. I hated it, it was horrible, I barely ever saw my own husband and it felt like I might as well be single.

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:28

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AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:28

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Or we just have lives outside of work that we value.

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:27

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MarieIVanArkleStinks · 31/10/2022 17:26

Been having a good old chortle at the earlier thread. Its content was predictable from the very first post, when a woman's simple declaration that she valued her independence was interpreted as gratuitous nastiness to housewives. The real gratuitous nastiness didn't take long to show its face because it was clear then what the purpose of the thread was (to provoke handbags at dawn) and which direction it would take.

But even I couldn't have anticipated the discussion would degenerate so far as 'My husband likes me, and everyone else is jealous because your relationships are rubbish so RAH!'

I can't quite figure out whether this qualifies as the most hilarious or most pathetic thread I've read on Mumsnet to date.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:26

@AMorningstar

Not forced to no. I never said that.

The majority of women do not want to be housewives.

The majority don't even want to be sahms

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:26

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AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:24

cagliari · 31/10/2022 17:22

"Disagree with your lifestyle choices,"

What does this even mean? How can you 'disagree' with my life?

I don't need anyone to agree or disagree with my "lifestyle choice" because this is utterly meaningless.

It just amazes me that people have so much to say about women looking after their own kids day to day, or in the hours others might be working. To me, that is just basic life. When did that become even remotely unacceptable? Why all the furore?

Its literally the most natural thing in the world and I find it deeply sinister that capitalism has divorced women from looking after their own children to such an extent as this.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:23

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I never stated once I wouldn't retaliate. In fact I've never taken issue with retaliation. My issue is with people being rude to others for no reason. Retaliating isn't no reason.

cagliari · 31/10/2022 17:22

"Disagree with your lifestyle choices,"

What does this even mean? How can you 'disagree' with my life?

I don't need anyone to agree or disagree with my "lifestyle choice" because this is utterly meaningless.

It just amazes me that people have so much to say about women looking after their own kids day to day, or in the hours others might be working. To me, that is just basic life. When did that become even remotely unacceptable? Why all the furore?

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:22

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AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:22

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You know full well what i mean. If money wasn't needed most would quit their job tomorrow. Those people work out of necessity not love of the job.

Crikeyalmighty · 31/10/2022 17:22

Some rather naive comments on here by certain posters
Whether you end up divorced or not or a single parent in other ways (widowed ) can quite often be totally out your control.

Do you think all these posters on mumsnet who ended up with partners having affairs, using hookers, secretive vast amounts of debt, using sex worker webcams etc were all expecting this- ? Most of them believed they were in perfectly happy marriages until the moment they realised they no longer knew their husbands and partners- maybe in the past women put up and shut up in order to keep a home and income and lifestyle- these days not so much so. I remember my grandma telling me she had been very unhappy at times but her options were fewer.

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:21

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AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:20

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Why is it acceptable when your side does it but nasty if I do it?

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:19

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:18

@AMorningstar

I'm OK with them holding that opinion and stating that opinion.

Plenty women do. (But only when it's other women and not their ohs doing the working natch)

Women choosing not towork promotes sexist and outdated attitudes and prevents equal parenting.

So you think everyone should be forced to split everything 50/50 to promite equality. Urgh. What a lack of regard for individuals

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:19

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AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:18

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Some work out of necessity. Which is different from deriving your lifes purpose from the labour market.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:18

@AMorningstar

I'm OK with them holding that opinion and stating that opinion.

Plenty women do. (But only when it's other women and not their ohs doing the working natch)

Women choosing not towork promotes sexist and outdated attitudes and prevents equal parenting.