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To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

867 replies

Alondra · 31/10/2022 11:55

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

OP posts:
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RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 19:14

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 19:10

Pocket money?

Erm the bank account is a joint one. I have equal access to it as he does. And it was with my families money that we bought the house.

He can stop putting his money in that sweet little joint account any time. You still don't get it, do you?
If he decided to stop funding you for any reason you'd be on your ass struggling on minimum wage or on benefits.

If that doesn't scare you, you haven't thought it through enough.

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 19:12

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 19:10

Pocket money?

Erm the bank account is a joint one. I have equal access to it as he does. And it was with my families money that we bought the house.

The fact that your daddy supported you before your hubby took over is really not the flex you think it is. Was there ever a time in your life you didn't depend on a man for your basic needs?

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 19:10

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 19:07

No, you just depend on him for the roof over your head, utilities, food and pocket money. Financially free, is that what you called it?

Pocket money?

Erm the bank account is a joint one. I have equal access to it as he does. And it was with my families money that we bought the house.

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 19:07

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 19:05

I'm not a slave to my husband. Laughable to suggest so.

No, you just depend on him for the roof over your head, utilities, food and pocket money. Financially free, is that what you called it?

Topgub · 31/10/2022 19:07

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:33

This is a much better way of wording it, but yeah. Equality of opportunity won't necessarily leqd to 50/50 in everything and that's...actually OK.

Well it would be a start at least.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 19:05

Refrosty · 31/10/2022 19:04

Yeah. We'll tell our daughters to forget about a career and ensure she marries someone with a good career who doesn't believe in divorce. Why be a wage slave when she can be a slave to her marriage.

I'm not a slave to my husband. Laughable to suggest so.

Refrosty · 31/10/2022 19:04

Yeah. We'll tell our daughters to forget about a career and ensure she marries someone with a good career who doesn't believe in divorce. Why be a wage slave when she can be a slave to her marriage.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 19:04

Fairylightsongs · 31/10/2022 19:01

A morning star, I’m genuinely curious, you’ve spent 24 hours solidly posting on mumsnet, with a six hour break from 1am to 7 am. Who is looking after the kids?

Oh look, more Internet nobodies speculating about my life and asking me to justify myself to them. I owe you literally nothing lol. Stop being so obsessed with me.

Fairylightsongs · 31/10/2022 19:01

A morning star, I’m genuinely curious, you’ve spent 24 hours solidly posting on mumsnet, with a six hour break from 1am to 7 am. Who is looking after the kids?

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:58

WifeMotherWorker · 31/10/2022 18:51

Jealous of SAHM AKA a housewife! Jesus wept!!
I want more for my daughter; I want her to have financial independence, a career, personal growth, development and broadened horizons that come with working and I lead by example. I also don’t want my son to marry some lazy work shy woman who’s only ambition in life is neat eyebrows and hoovering!!

Wanting your daughter to be a wage slave isn't the progressive move you think it is. You can have personal growth and broad horizons without a career. Do you lot think housewives literally never leave our homes?

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:57

IhateHermioneGranger · 31/10/2022 18:44

Is that happy marriage of yours (if it exists) a lot more insecure than you make out? 😂

No, it's not. It's very happy and solid. I just find it sad other women have to try and attack my marriage, and other SAHMs marriages, out of bitterness.

WifeMotherWorker · 31/10/2022 18:51

Jealous of SAHM AKA a housewife! Jesus wept!!
I want more for my daughter; I want her to have financial independence, a career, personal growth, development and broadened horizons that come with working and I lead by example. I also don’t want my son to marry some lazy work shy woman who’s only ambition in life is neat eyebrows and hoovering!!

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:49

@AMorningstar

Welcome to the patriarchy

IhateHermioneGranger · 31/10/2022 18:44

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:35

Not a troll. Bit rich to call me a troll considering you implied my husband was having an affair

Is that happy marriage of yours (if it exists) a lot more insecure than you make out? 😂

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Not a troll. Bit rich to call me a troll considering you implied my husband was having an affair

IhateHermioneGranger · 31/10/2022 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:33

cagliari · 31/10/2022 18:32

"If women want to be one and promote inequality then obviously I'll view that negatively and obviously I think it would be better if less women made that choice where able."

If something is an active choice for women it's not necessarily 'inequality.' It may just be the basic reality that when all is said and done, many women want slightly different things out of life than men - or you. If feminism can't tolerate that, it's dead in the water.

If "equality" is measured by this binary notion of earning / not earning, I suppose women shouldn't make the 'lifestyle choice' to do low paid work in the public sector? They should all only ever strive to be high earners in banking or whatever - to boost the 'statistics' on a societal level? Never mind they had a burning desire to teach or be a nurse. No, Wrong!!

Maybe women should be made to feel bad if they have more than one child as this may put them
at a disadvantage in the workplace (compared to women who have no children or just one and therefore less demands).

If you can only equate 'equality' with earning potential, it's a pretty grim outlook really, isn't it.

This is a much better way of wording it, but yeah. Equality of opportunity won't necessarily leqd to 50/50 in everything and that's...actually OK.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 31/10/2022 18:33

As if it wasn't immediately obvious these threads were skits. ...

To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2
cagliari · 31/10/2022 18:32

"If women want to be one and promote inequality then obviously I'll view that negatively and obviously I think it would be better if less women made that choice where able."

If something is an active choice for women it's not necessarily 'inequality.' It may just be the basic reality that when all is said and done, many women want slightly different things out of life than men - or you. If feminism can't tolerate that, it's dead in the water.

If "equality" is measured by this binary notion of earning / not earning, I suppose women shouldn't make the 'lifestyle choice' to do low paid work in the public sector? They should all only ever strive to be high earners in banking or whatever - to boost the 'statistics' on a societal level? Never mind they had a burning desire to teach or be a nurse. No, Wrong!!

Maybe women should be made to feel bad if they have more than one child as this may put them
at a disadvantage in the workplace (compared to women who have no children or just one and therefore less demands).

If you can only equate 'equality' with earning potential, it's a pretty grim outlook really, isn't it.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:30

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 18:28

@AMorningstar How's been raising your kids for you these past 24h that you've spent almost continuosly arguing with us?

More assumptions and interrogation about my life from a nobody online who I owe nothing to? Colour me shocked.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:30

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:26

@AMorningstar

No it doesn't.

I have no issue with individual sahms. I'm sure they are all lovely. Or not. Being a sahm is not a personality trait.

The impacts pf sexist choices don't go away because you don't want to acknowledge them

Its not a sexist choice though. thats the thing. I am an individual. I never asked to be a woman, I never chose to be one, why should my choices be classed as anything other than mine by virtue of me being female? That's radically unfair. If a man can choose to be a SAHP and it not be sexist, then so can I. Otherwise what you're saying is there's no way for a woman to live her life a certain way without being sexist, yet a man can. Which ironically is sexist.

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 18:28

Who*

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 18:28

@AMorningstar How's been raising your kids for you these past 24h that you've spent almost continuosly arguing with us?

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:26

@AMorningstar

No it doesn't.

I have no issue with individual sahms. I'm sure they are all lovely. Or not. Being a sahm is not a personality trait.

The impacts pf sexist choices don't go away because you don't want to acknowledge them

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:26

IhateHermioneGranger · 31/10/2022 18:20

Or someone as smug and naive as yourself about yourself and your relationship.

It says something about the state of other people's relationships if someone being happy and confident is "smug and naive"