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To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

867 replies

Alondra · 31/10/2022 11:55

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

OP posts:
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AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:41

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:40

@AMorningstar

I take ot you include your oh in that?

Why did he bother having kids if he couldn't be arsed looking after them full time?

It doesn't need two parents to care for kids full time. If a woman wants to be the breadwinner and have her husband stay home, that's absolutely fine by me. That wasn't the impression I was getting from the posts talking about raising kids as if it were a second rate task though...it wasn't "I actually love my career but my husband is a real homebody and so he wanted to raise the kids".

FlamencoDance · 01/11/2022 10:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster’s request.

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:41

@AMorningstar

Yes you did.

You said racism was worse than sexism

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:41

@zeven

It's not about you.

It's about him. Why didn't he think working paled into insignifin comparison to caring for his own kids

Youve still not answered of you think working harms children

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:40

@AMorningstar

I take ot you include your oh in that?

Why did he bother having kids if he couldn't be arsed looking after them full time?

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:39

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:38

How would you?

I haven't claimed that though? I've said it's not my place to talk about racial issues because I'm not an ethnic minority. I'm talking about women's issues, as a woman.

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:38

How would you?

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:38

zeven · 01/11/2022 10:37

I didn't need my DH to leave work Topgub.

You tell about giving up work to care for children as if it's a great terrible sacrifice forced on women. It wasn't like that for me. It was something I felt so compelled to do, everything else paled into irrelevance. It was a choice and a huge adventure and privilege, not the consolation prize of life!

I don't get why people who think it's so terrible have kids. Honestly. I'm not saying everyone who has kids has to be a permanent stay at-home Pinterest mum, but if you really see it as such an arduous thankless task...why do it at all? No one forces you to.

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:37

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:36

I'm not being disrespectful.

I dont believe in oppression hierarchy Olympics

None are worse than any other

How would you know unless you experience all of them?

zeven · 01/11/2022 10:37

I didn't need my DH to leave work Topgub.

You tell about giving up work to care for children as if it's a great terrible sacrifice forced on women. It wasn't like that for me. It was something I felt so compelled to do, everything else paled into irrelevance. It was a choice and a huge adventure and privilege, not the consolation prize of life!

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:36

IhateHermioneGranger · 01/11/2022 10:35

Nope. Just pointing out the hypocrisy.

No you're basically saying SAHM can never do anything ever unless its staring at your child 24/7, which isn't something I've said.

I'm actually currently sitting in a waiting room for a medical appointment after having been severely unwell the past week, not that it's any of your fucking business.

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:36

I'm not being disrespectful.

I dont believe in oppression hierarchy Olympics

None are worse than any other

IhateHermioneGranger · 01/11/2022 10:35

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:34

"I'm not talking about people who don't have a choice" I literally stated that in the post.

It's also weird how you want to keep talking about my own life to try and silence me. You're basically saying because I'm a SAHM, I'm not allowed a voice or opinion in discussions. Which is far more sexist and derogatory than anything I've said.

Nope. Just pointing out the hypocrisy.

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:34

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:33

Nope

I'm entitled to compare the oppression of women to other kinds of oppression.

Especially when sexism and mysoginy are being denied

If you want to be disrespectful to people of colour then crack on, it's a bad look but it's your choice.

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:34

IhateHermioneGranger · 01/11/2022 10:31

Unless you have family nearby there is no choice. How do you propose bills to be paid? Children to be fed? I doubt children of that age will remember much of their fun days there.

Plus don't you think it hypocritical to have that viewpoint of children being better off with mum when you are spending so much time on here?

"I'm not talking about people who don't have a choice" I literally stated that in the post.

It's also weird how you want to keep talking about my own life to try and silence me. You're basically saying because I'm a SAHM, I'm not allowed a voice or opinion in discussions. Which is far more sexist and derogatory than anything I've said.

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:33

Nope

I'm entitled to compare the oppression of women to other kinds of oppression.

Especially when sexism and mysoginy are being denied

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:32

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:29

Also, not a strawman

At best a false equivalency.

In reality an analogy that you cant counter

You're trying to create a strawman about it. Each form if discrimination is unique and people of colour have said repeatedly they don't like it when racism is compared to sexism, homophobia and so on. Knock it off.

IhateHermioneGranger · 01/11/2022 10:31

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:22

I find that depressing too. I don't know why you'd have kids if you want that - I'm not talking about people who don't have a choice but holding it up as the ideal doesn't seem pleasant.

Unless you have family nearby there is no choice. How do you propose bills to be paid? Children to be fed? I doubt children of that age will remember much of their fun days there.

Plus don't you think it hypocritical to have that viewpoint of children being better off with mum when you are spending so much time on here?

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:29

Also, not a strawman

At best a false equivalency.

In reality an analogy that you cant counter

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:28

@AMorningstar

Yeah that's demonstrably not true

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:27

I'm not even sure why you consider that the 2 options.

I have a career and happy kids

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:27

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:23

@AMorningstar

No.

I dont want to discuss racism. I'm not black or a woc.

However you using it as a shield to prevent you acknowledging that institutional sexism is not a cop out for women is pretty poor.

You said previously he shared your values

Your values are sexist. So his must be too.

You're using it as a strawman, which is pretty disingenuous towards people of colour in general.

Our values are for us. We do not force them on others or presume they're right for everyone, unlike you.

Topgub · 01/11/2022 10:26

@zeven

Your oh didn't.

zeven · 01/11/2022 10:26

If the choice was my career being put on hold (even jeopardised) and my child's happiness, I would prioritise my child's happiness every time. Absolutely.

AMorningstar · 01/11/2022 10:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster’s request.

You seem to see childrearing as second rate compared to a career. As seen in language like "give up". I think it's an honour and very much a wonderful thing to do.

I don't think anyone here has said women should have to give up work.