To ask people with disabilities to explain what discrimination they have faced?

I have a brain tumour and like TeresaCrowd, I don't consider myself disabled but technically am.
After being diagnosed I told work (NHS!) who instantly terminated my contract. My manager backtracked after no doubt doing a bit of research, but spend the next few months finding fault with everything I did and eventually hounded me out.
Luckily I soon found another job within the NHS where they are much nicer!

God yes to extended family who gives patronising instructions based on limited knowledge. yes, I KNOW your other grandchild has (only) ADHD and is doing extremely well on medication, but considering THIS grandchild has ASD, ADHD, tourettes, dyspraxia, anaphylactic allergies, an immune disorder and a heart problem and his own consultant says that adhd medication is NOT recommended, - just -well- stop suggesting that medicating might help and stop sending me little things you have clipped out of a newspaper and suggest I ask his consultant again for a magic pill. Thanks!

I have a long term condition that leaves me covered under the DDA but day to day I’d not consider myself disabled. Constantly having to ‘get a doctors certificate’ or ‘provide a medical report’ in order to take part in ‘normal’ activities. I like day to day with my condition and know how it affects me. I have to pay to get a doctors note if they will even provide an appointment for it. They are pretty resistant to do it even if you do pay. I see my doctor twice a year at most, yet apparently they are more aware of what I’m capable of than I am.

Also other people who had a distant family member with a similar but not the same condition giving you patronising instructions as if they are the font of all knowledge on the subject that they actually know fuck all about. Links in with people making assumptions about what you can/can’t do.

I spend a lot of life feeling guilty (or dangerous, unable or incompetent) until externally proven innocent which isn’t how the UK is supposed to be!

My son has severe autism and learning disabilities, he's always been educated in a special school, so tbh he always Been fully included in his environment, I have heard of so many children though with autism who are academically able, who struggle in mainstream

Very slowly by the look of the dreadful, heartbreaking stories here.

Im so sorry for those of you (& your loved ones) who have been made to suffer in this way, especially where it is deliberate acts of abuse.

This is pretty much my experience also.

I work in retail and frequently have customers shouting in my face because I have ignored them when they are behind me despite the fact I always apologise for not knowing they were speaking to me and I wear a badge to apologise for being deaf.
One man I hadn’t spotted covered my face with spittle whilst telling me it wasn’t his fault I was disabled, he should not be inconvenienced by it and demanding to see my manager to complain about them employing people like me.

I wish people wouldn’t shout, it makes lip reading so much harder.

I have arthritis in my knee and left hip

work demanded a letter from the doctor to ‘prove’ I wasn’t lying

im on my feet 8+ hours a shift-not allowed to fit down

stairs are unbearable-I’m not allowed to use the lift (I do-fuck em)

im always been told to kneel down (I can’t) to do something

im always being told to ‘stop limping’ (I wish I could)

im also slightly deaf(due to dv)

I can’t hear you if there’s noise in the background-I’ve been yelled at for being ‘ignorant’ and they tried to give me a warning for walking away from someone who I didn’t hear calling my name

im made to feel like a time waster-I don’t moan but do get on with it,unlike others-who are pandered to for fuck all-we have one woman who never shows up due to her disabled child-there’s nothing wrong with him,just her word for it-and nothing is ever said or done

Commenting as a disabled adult. People making adjustments that I have not asked for, because they buy in to the stereotypes. Managers saying it might be unfair if an adjustment is made as other employees without a disability (even if they are not affected in any way by the adjustment and don’t have any difficulty with using the office environment) don’t get special treatment and might complain. People setting up events or venues that I can’t attend, seeing me as the minority rather than considering how to include me. Mostly well meant or just ignorant of the law. ACAS has a good outline of what is reasonable if anyone needs it!

Being told I can't take in part in something because it'll be too difficult...by a person with no experience of my disabilities.

My school doesn't necessarily have the resources but comments like this make me realise we do our absolute best to support a child back into the classroom. What an awful experience for you. I hope dc is very happy and settled now.

I am disabled and doing a quick placehold for later when I have a chance to fill out the list.

Mainly just assumptions about what I can or can not do or cope with, and more assumptions about my personality and character based off nothing other than generalisations and stereotypes. Also people insisting that I do certain things a certain way, that perfectly healthy 'normal' people can do but are completely unrealistic or impossible for me. The last one is really a failure to accommodate and make reasonable adjustments, but I still encounter it from time to time in people who are inflexible due to ambition or a lack of any sort of empathy.

The thing that probably irks me most though is how often I encounter people making disparaging remarks about my particular diagnosis while they are completely oblivious to the fact I'm one of the people they are busy slating. It's common to all invisible disabilities, and when you have more than one it means you come across this even more frequently because your bullshit radar picks more of it up.

I have PTSD and severe arthritis. I don't think I routinely experience the level of discrimination that many people with disabilities do, but largely because I am a strong and independant woman who has no problem calling it out - and I honestly think that that kind of confidence is "visible". But even with all that said, I find it wearing at times, and it's often the stupid "little stuff". For example, I have lost count of the number of times someone holds a door for the person behind them (me!) and then realises that I am slow (I walk with either two sticks / critches or a rollator, so my hands are both "busy") so they let it go to slam in my face because they are in a hurry to get somewhere. People who question my service dogs existence because I am not blind. The people who will still talk to the person I am with about me because they assume they are my carer and I am too stupid to talk or to know what I need.

These are not the "big" discriminations that so many people routinely face in life, but sometimes I just wish they were because my life is exhausting enough without the "drip, drip, drip" effect of the small routine stupid stuff on a day to day basis.

Then there's just the "life stuff" - the steps everywhere that I struggle to manage. The doors that need a hand (or even two) to move when you have no hands free to use. The supermarket "disabled" scooter that assume that I only want to buy six items because that's all that fits in the basket (thank God for deliveries because I haven't had to deal with this one in years now!).

Despite everything I try to get out and about daily, I work (mostly from home now) and I do "things" - I try to stay active and as fit as I can. But by God there are days when I feel like sitting down on the sofa and bingeing on box sets for the rest of my life, it's all so tiring.

My adult son does not have a mental health condition but was sectioned and sent to a hospital an 8 hour drive away from home because there was no-where for him to live. You can do that with people with learning disabilities if they have ‘challenging behaviour’. I suspect my behaviour would be challenging if I was given 13 days notice to leave after my home was bought up by a large corporate.

(Yes he did come home to us for a bit but his younger brothers had to move out - they were in year 11 and year 8 so it could not be long term).

He spent 16 months at the end other end of the county - had never been away from me for more than 2 days before being sectioned.

A lot of people have been ignorant over the years but probably outweighed by the nice people (in our orbit) & pales into insignificance compared to the above or the institutional difficulties - eg accessing healthcare.

I was in hospital in secondary school because of my mental health. The school didn't really want me back and refused until a psychiatrist confirmed in writing that "the school community was not at risk". There was never anything to suggest I was violent. On the other side, the organisation that paid my fees (private school) immediately agreed to pay for an extra year and emailed me to wish me a speedy recovery.

A school teacher made me read out an article about anorexia in German. The class was disgusted on my behalf. She replied, "what's the issue? Everyone knows she doesn't eat".

Unable to rent privately due to income being solely benefits.

Almost had a job offer rescinded because the manager didn't think I could do the job when I disclosed my mental health condition, despite having doing a very similar job with excellent references and a good sickness record. I withdrew my acceptance because no way could I have a manager with that attitude. OH have never had an issue clearing me to work.

Ohhhhh....

Big name (within the industry) conference insisted they must charge my PA a full ticket price for attending with me (she would not have been in the lectures/seminars except the ones that were scheduled over the mealtimes, but they had scheduled stuff over both lunch AND dinner, on each of the three days!)..

I offered to pay for her food as it was at a hotel far from civilisation and obviously I needed her to not leave the venue so she'd struggle to buy food elsewhere.

After months of battling this, they eventually came back to me and said £50 a day - for two goes at buffet food - she could have had steak in the hotel restaurant for both meals each day for less than that but it wasn't open for lunch and was in a different location to the conference. DWP Access to Work would only have covered £20 of that so that would have left me paying £90 more than any other attendee.

I ended up having another attendee act as my PA which is not what I like doing as they're there to do their own thing, not mind someone else! And this '£50 a day buffet lunch and dinner' turned out to be dire and absolutely no more than £10 per head.

Even worse, the organisation behind this conference is meant to be absolutely beyond reproach on animal ethics and welfare and kindness and all that shiz... but happy to fleece a disabled person.

Another massive national annual event run by a very old organisation... does not have press seating for disabled members of the press - to their credit they were MORTIFIED about this and asked me what I wanted to do and what solutions were suitable and we came up with something that worked. They do now reserve some of their accessible seating for disable press (And, it is used by people other than me, because it turns out I am not the only one!)

I have been turned away from chain restaurants because of stupid things like 'we don't have the key to the other half of this double door, the assistant manager has gone home with it and we're not serving to our accessible seats upstairs today... ' (the accessible upstairs floor was up the hill with a second entrance door, I'd already been in there first and been directed out, down the hill and in the bottom door...). I asked if they could serve me up there... no, apparently not.
Very humiliating as all this took place in front of other diners in the main entrance.

When I used a manual chair, I have been MOVED by randomers, without asking me... both times I was browsing stuff on a rack and suddenly I am moved away and then someone gets in front of me to look at what I was looking at - the second time I had had one hand on a wheel and my fingers caught in the spokes so I let out a very loud swear word and the woman TOLD ME OFF FOR SWEARING.. and said I was over reacting, she just wanted to get in front of me!...

Twice I have had people allow children to climb on my powerchair when I have left it parked in a restaurant somewhere 'not in the way' and transferred to a normal seat (this is because my chair is generally too high for restaurant tables) - on both occasions the parents were busy beaming at their precocious child and objected strongly when I asked them to remove child. On one occasion apparently it was OK because the NHS loan me the chair so 'in effect we've paid for it'... (they hadn't, it was my privately funded chair, not my NHS one but even if it had been... ugh!).

Chatting outside whilst waiting for a lift, after a fair bit of polite smalltalk, a lady asked if I was 'waiting for a responsible adult'... I was confused at first as no one would refer to my OH as 'responsible' and frankly 'adult' is pushing it... and it didn't dawn on me for a few seconds what she meant!

Yelled at on a train because I objected to the wheelchair area being filled with baggage - and then yelled at a LOT more when I started chucking peoples bags out the door, I don't think they expected quite the upper body strength I had at the time (I certainly couldn't do it now). Train staff were RIGHT THERE but were wishy washy useless efforts who would happily have taken me OFF the train in favour of some peoples suitcases but by this point on that particular day I had no fucks left to give and I lost my cool somewhat! Three suitcases hit the platform before people realised they really were in danger of losing ALL their stuff and started moving it out of my way!

Yelled at on a train BY train staff... because I horribly unreasonably wanted to get off AT my stop... and as no one showed up despite assistance/ramp being booked... I blocked the doors so the train couldn't leave. Apparently I should have just put up with it and stayed on the train all the way to wherever the hell it was going and then sought assistance. I'd have missed my connection and had to go straight home but hey ho, who cares about what the disabled person is trying to get to!

My college had never heard of my disability (there's a charity for it and we have Google) so decided they knew more than my consultant. And tried to label me as Dyslexic. My ed psych report said no. And it's normal to have the reported difficulty as a visually impaired person.

I've been told I won't be supported because I've just been diagnosed so it can't be that bad. Except you can develop so many conditions as an adult. And getting diagnosed isn't always that simple

God yes swimming lessons.

DS1 has dyspraxia and cannot tie shoelaces or swim a single stroke despite the fact he has been in lessons since he was 4(He is now just shy of 13 and his lessons only stopped during covid)

year 7 swimming gala at his school and I explained to his form teacher he could not swim. She said (And I quote); 'See, I would have said that was a parenting failure'.

I had a word with Head of Year. But not before I went home and cried my eyes out for a few days.

Oh Christ I forgot about swimming lessons.

There’s the teacher teaching students. And there’s me with a dumb look on my face cos I can’t understand a word she’s saying

Homeschooled ASD DS was asked not to return to tennis lessons. He had had one lesson, before which I had explained very clearly that he needed 1-1 and wouldn't cope in a group lesson. So what did they do? Put him in a group lesson. So what did DS do? Have a massive meltdown. He was only 6 and I will never forgive the coaches for the way they handled it.

Alertthecorgis
When my dc attended a mainstream school for a year:

• Locked out the classroom with 1:1 when lessons were happening
• Shut in the classroom at lunch with 1:1 so not allowed by teachers into hall for lunch
• Wasn’t allowed to go on school trips unless I drove DC in my car even when I said I’d go on the bus with them
Needless to say we went to court over it and pulled our DC out. It was reception year so should’ve been a nice year. The above is just a few examples of their vile behaviour.

I recognise many of these as being actions for students who need to be excluded from the class because of their behaviour. Where does your dc go to school now?

Fuck me you are a classic example of discrimination! Child gets excluded and somehow it must be them!
Even if behavioural mostly this is due to abusive behaviour by the other pupils and teachers they have had to put up with and are reacting to.

Same happened to my sons, and lo and behold once he move school and all the abusive shit stop his "behaviour" no longer challenged in fact other than the 3 months in the abusive school environment where they claimed it was his behaviour that was the reason they did what they did... his entire school career has been incident free, he is now doing his A levels at college and thriving.

Being excluded from events due to the belief that I won't want to go because it'll be too difficult with the wheelchair. Friends, family, and acquaintances. They always made it sound like they were doing me a favour.

Now I just don't bother with many friends. Disability can be very isolating.

I attended a hospital appointment 4 weeks ago, that I’d waited 10 months for. The consultant had a strong accent and wore a mask. I explained that I am deaf, could she please remove the mask so I could understand her. She refused. Appointment was very confusing, with her shouting (this doesn’t help as I have mid range hearing loss) and getting cross that I was answering the wrong questions. I don’t use BSL, my hearing loss started in 30s. I can hear some and lip reading fills in the gaps.

aftwrwards I felt so stupid and rubbish about myself that I cannot access healthcare like other people and that I potentially missed important information. I received a feedback form afterwards (it was a clinic outsourced to Virgin), I filled it in but they haven’t even got in contact.

Loads of 'minor' examples of being mocked.

Not so much discriminatory, but dismissive and rude. Confided in two of my closest friends when I received my Autism diagnosis. Both said exactly the same thing "well, we are all on the spectrum, aren't we?" 🙄 Both Male. Both went on to take over the conversation about their mates blah blah (all factually incorrect anecdotal drivel) not once did they ask how I felt etc. I don't bother with either of them now. No doubt they both think it's because I've 'turned odd' aka distanced myself socially as I can't cope anymore. Nothing to do with either of them being severely lacking in self awareness of course. and generally being offensive twunts

My mother in the 70s, pushing my sister around in her pram. So many people used to stop her and ask "what did you do wrong in your pregnancy to get 'that'?"
My sister had Downs Syndrome.
People really were cunts back then. It's getting slowly better.