To ask people with disabilities to explain what discrimination they have faced?

someone earlier in the thread mentioned about things like heavy doors, I think so many places just want to tick the box of being “accessible” without considering what that even means.

we have come across disabled toilets where I struggle to open the door and manoeuvre Ds standard child size wheelchair in so mind boggles how an adult who uses a wheelchair would manage to get in independently!

train stations are the worse our nearest city centre train station has one lift for the station which at a push can fit a wheelchair
and carer in. I don’t know how those with bigger than standard wheelchairs manage.

Isn't it funny how one's brain "deletes" stuff? I was just reading another thread and rememembered that two years ago almost to the day I got a new manager whose first words were "wouldn't it be better if you took early retirement because it must be really hard working when you are disabled". No, it wasn't really hard and I told her so. This same phrase in some form or another came up almost every time I spoke to her. When I didn't "take the hint" by June last year, behind my back, she decided to delete my entire team and find jobs elsewhere for everyone else - except for me. I was to be made redundant. And she waited to do it until I was (a) in the middle of undergoing eye surgery on both eyes and (b) on the day (between surgeries) that I went on holiday. Unfortunately for her my union had my phone number. It was a long battle and it was awful. My (very large, public sector) employer had "lost" all the paperwork guaranteeing my post (unfortunately for them I hadn't lost my copies). In the end, and long story short, they capitulated, and I was moved to another post with a much better manager, but not before they denied it all. I decided that I had what I wanted, and it had been an awful several months getting it, so I didn't get to tell them that I had recordings of her comments. And I had actually "forgotten" about this. I guess it was just too much to retain. But I had previously been very involved in our disabled staff forum, and gave that up because it was soul-destroying dealing with the crap that disabled staff got thrown at them from an "equal opportunities employer".

Was told I would never be promoted because I have a disability.

My manager fed my guide dog haribo.

Team lunches were booked out of town which I was told it would be best if I didn’t attend because it wouldn’t be fair to expect anyone to carry my dog.

Had an interview offer withdrawn because of my disability, and the employment agent said that it wouldn’t be fair on a sighted person to give me the job if there was potential for the system to not be accessible.

Had a job offer withdrawn because they couldn’t make the system accessible, when I was on radio 4 talking about it they declined to comment.

17% of people with a disability have had a job offer withdrawn because of their disability, and 13% have had an interview withdrawn for the same reasons.

I made a Documentary
about it. Here.

Whatever
you pick a fight with yourself as I’m stepping away
i know this family-you dont
i know how hard it is to get help and support as my own child had a temporary disability,which thankfully he grew out of but it was hell at the time
i didn’t however,label my child with a disability,go to the doctors,get told there is nothing wrong with him,and then go back

but sure-you know better than me based on an anonymous person on the internet

i won’t be bothering with you anymore

to everyone else-I’m sorry about derailing the thread-I personally won’t be anymore

Lots of love and hugs to everyone who has suffered discrimination because of disability. I know a few people who have, and are similar to the things that have happened to people on this thread.

I’m deaf and can empathise with all the other comments of from those who have hearing difficulties. Also the PP who said that their boss wouldn’t make reasonable adjustments because it was unfair on other employees (despite it being THE LAW). For be the biggest killer is the social isolation and being made to feel like an inconvenience when asking for a small adjustment e.g. sitting with my back to the wall in a restaurant to help reduce background noise.

@Silverangels Ohhhh so you're now saying she admits it? Nonsense. You're just seeing a child acting 'normal' and deciding for yourself that there's nothing wrong with him. Disgraceful behaviour.

I have recently ( over the last couple of years) been aware that I’m not hearing as well as I did and am currently waiting for hearing aids to be fitted. I tell people that I have a hearing difficulty and they ignore it, talking whilst walking away, turning their back etc. The worst is my dentist, who, of necessity, wears a mask and visor, but I cannot understand her at all. I tell her each visit that I’m not hearing well and each visit she talks to me and I’ve no idea what she’s saying.

In the scheme of things, my difficulty is minimal, but it has made me more aware of how people with hidden disabilities are treated.

My DD is profoundly disabled. She uses a wheelchair and cannot walk or talk or eat. She doesn’t look, apparently, “that disabled”, or do I’ve been told.
My main gripe is changing facilities. I don’t know anywhere that I can change her. She’s only give snd I’ve not idea how this will carry on as time goes on.
Train? No facilities.
Plane? No facilities.
Lovely local restaurants and pubs? No facilities..
it’s very depressing

Ds is autistic and has a whole list of other disabilities and health conditions.

we have been exceptionally lucky with both schools that they have been 90% fantastic and have undergone training for things like his tube feeds and his medical conditions. But the fact that is deemed as something noteworthy shows how many are let down.

Some other parents have been a nightmare (lots are great) with comments like “well you wouldn’t behave like that would you” to their child when Ds was having a meltdown. Well no your child isn’t autistic! And complaining that DS gets more attention than other children (he has an ehcp with full 1-1)

we have had people abuse us for using disabled spaces/ disabled toilets/ lifts etc.

he is a part time wheelchair user and attitudes to him are generally different when he is on foot than in his chair. Highlights to me that invisible disabilities are still so misunderstood

The small town i live in doesnt have any toilet facilities suitable for an adult that needs carers to change them if they are incontinent.

HR asked me to email my colleagues to explain what to do it I have a seizure.
Our chief exec emailed everyone - I didn't send it to her - rejecting everything I said and saying nobody needed to time a seizure

YES!

Oh do go away
i know this child-well
there is nothing wrong with him-nothing at all
she admits it-she seems to think there’s benefits to be had if she claims he is disabled-but she’s not getting far as everyone is telling her there is nothing wrong with him
this is her words not mine-I’ve had to listen to her going on about it-so please wind your neck back in

due to her disabled child-there’s nothing wrong with him,just her word for it

Excuse you??? "There's nothing wrong with him?????????"
How DARE you? You've just massively discriminated against this mother! You have no access to this child's medical record. You should be ashamed of yourself

Talking of queuing, did anyone notice how many disabled parking spaces were taken over for queues to get into shops during the height of Covid?

Re wheelchair access, I've noticed that in many people's eyes this just means 'no steps'. When in fact poor pathways make access difficult, and doors that don't open by themselves and are impossible to get through.

I don't even know where to start. It's daily. From something as simple as ridiculously long queues to get/do something I need with no thought for how disabled people (particularly those of us not in wheelchairs) may struggle to stand that long; To those stupid queue barriers that don't fit a wheelchair/mobility scooter and there's no separate entrance. Obviously with venues which are permanent you can approach them about it, but with a visiting event, you just have to stay quiet & either not go or find a way to deal with it.
I certainly can’t stand in line for the Next sale or a grand opening for example because if I take a mobility scooter I'm then stuck trying to manoeuvre it around crazy shoppers running around, once we get in.
Speaking of, using a supermarket's scooter - Omg! You're either given filthy looks for being a scooter to begin with, have people saying "Excuse me" when I'm neatly parked in front of a product I'm looking at, and they want me to move rather than wait their turn (when there's no way they'd say that if I was stood, they'd patiently wait the 10 seconds until I'd finished! But nope, if I'm on a scooter then I get asked to move!)
Or you're completely ignored and have people stand right in front of you, pretending not to see you (or hear you when you say excuse me), so you're stuck waiting until they've finished chatting with their neighbour they've bumped into!

Then of course there's been followed into the shop from the car park and aggressively tapped on the shoulder/whacked with a walking stick because I've parked in a disabled bay and I'm clearly under 50, have a small child and drive a hatchback so I must be parked illegally. See also 'blocks me in using their car in some kind of vigilante-style protest at "You young mums who think you can do what you like, well this has got ya! Hahaha" without once looking to see if I have an actual Blue Badge or not. Though one of them did declare me a blue badge thief once because I was "literally standing"

Everywhere. I. Go.

Where do you want me to start? In my case my needs are invisible but enough to qualify me as disabled. I wish I wasn't though but life isn't like that.

So many people have strong views on things like blue badges. I've been told I need to give some random person in a car park my blue badge because I don't need it. I've had someone tell me they are going to report me to the DSS because I am faking it.

Medical certificates. Why do I have to produce a flaming medical certificate to do anything. Actually, I would rather not divulge some very intensely personal medical information to someone who doesn't need to know (Nimbus cards, I'm looking at you here)

People who think they know how to meet my needs better than I do. If I am saying I need to do something in a particular way, use something in a particular way or this is what I need then I do. Because I know what works and what doesn't work, usually because I have found out the hard way. Swimming pools are a classic example of this. I can get into a pool by sitting on the poolside and sliding in but I need to be hoisted out again because I can't get myself out of the pool. Every time I have the same discussion with my local pool about my need for the hoist. Given a choice I wouldn't want to have a thin piece of fabric (hoist sling) being the thing lifting me out of the pool. I don't get a choice though. It really annoys me when people tell me I don't need X but I will be getting something else instead.

My DD is disabled. She has various health conditions and chronic illness that significantly affect her day-to-day. I had to give up work 7 years ago to be at home and care for her as she can't even make toast for herself.

At the time DH and I were on the same salary. Now his career has gone from strength to strength and I'm a full time carer for a 21 year old receiving £67 a week carer's allowance.

DD receives NO education. She's discriminated against every year when she tries to access some education but due to her fluctuating poor health can't keep up the attendance and gets kicked off the course by half term.

Apparently education and socialisation is of vital importance, but not if you're disabled. Despite offering remote access to learning during Covid, this is no longer an option for the housebound. Much like many other services that have returned to face to face only.

I'm very badly hard of hearing due to a Brain tumour I had when I was younger. I always find people get very irritated with me when I can't hear them to the point where I exclude myself from noisy group chat settings because people are quite intolerant of me

My DC has ASD only a few days ago when flying we had booked assistance through the airline as he struggles with queues. The assistance did not turn up and when I asked the staff about this I was told well he can obviously walk so just queue like everyone else! Such ignorance. I find that as his disablity is not immediately obvious he is usually discriminated against in lots of other ways.

and no (before I accidentally upset someone) i know that ADHD medication is not a magic pill and people have to be very carefully monitored but people think 'ADHD' equals medication and all is fine. It is ever so more complicated than that and always but always down to an individual.

Also other people who had a distant family member with a similar but not the same condition giving you patronising instructions as if they are the font of all knowledge on the subject that they actually know fuck all about. Links in with people making assumptions about what you can/can’t do.

This! I keep getting told to wear stronger glasses or get laser eye surgery. Neither will help.

Did used to have a "friend" with the same condition who couldn't understand why I managed something yesterday but not today. It's a documented fact that most people with my condition find this is the case.

Had a job offer withdrawn after getting it through an organisation as soon as they found out I was disabled - and at that point I wasn't using a wheelchair and any adjustments were negligible. Anyway they got blacklisted by the organisation and I got the job somewhere else. I was really good at it.

Been told by a doctor that I can't be autistic (and therefore must be lying about my medical history), because I can speak and attend an appointment.

Been mocked and bullied throughout my life for the way I move and for being "weird".

In my wheelchair:
been shouted at for stopping to heave a traffic cone that had been left in the middle of the dropped curb, and then sworn at when I didn't respond (because I'm autistic and I was overwhelmed and focused on the obstacle).

Been unable to cross the street due to inconsiderate parking across the dropped curb. And had to unload my wheelchair into the road because non-disabled people are using the blue badge spaces as a drop off zone (people do tend to look a bit sheepish in that case).

Had all manner of intrusive questions when out and about with mobility aids - what happened, why do you have that, what's wrong with you etc etc. I don't answer those.

Been ignored at the bar, cafe etc when it comes to ordering. Most times, it's assumed that whoever is with me will order for me.

Arrived at a leisure activity, having checked the website and rung up in advance to check accessibility, and paid for a ticket, only to be told with a shrug that the access features are broken today, with not so much as an apology.

Been dressed by a total stranger after I'd said no. This was me putting my jumper and jacket back on after trying something over my tshirt, the shop assistant asked if I needed help. I said no thanks, I can dress myself (which should have been evident given I'd removed my jacket, tried on the item, removed it, and was in the process of putting the jacket on again). She decided to start tucking my coat into my wheelchair, even though I said no. I didn't buy the item.

I've been using a wheelchair for less than a year. Every single time I leave the house I meet with some form of discrimination or inaccessibility.
I get a lot of positive interactions as well, but the negative ones out in public wear me down. I always appreciate offers of help to e.g. reach something on a high shelf - offers are fine, as long as people take no for an answer! Sometimes it looks like we need help, because we take longer or look different while doing something, but it's the most efficient way to do it for us. "Helping" when we've said "no" is at best infantilising, at worst, dangerous.