To ask people with disabilities to explain what discrimination they have faced?

Late to posting, but wanted to contribute anyway:

Being dismissed from a role due to my disability-related absences, whilst a colleague had more absences than me due to general illnesses (think stomach bug and sore chest). This person did not have a disability and was not dismissed, but I was.

Been told my a GP that the Integrated Autism Service would “send back” my referral for Autism because I was in a relationship and was employed.

Got told in an internal interview that I needed to “sort my head out” before being promoted. The role was given to someone who was less experienced in the role than I was, and hadn’t carried out the extra training, which I had.

I'm not disabled. But I think about disability matters, at the moment it's visible disability. eg in all the years I have worked in my life I have never had a work colleague who is wheelchair bound. I'm late 50s and have worked since I was 16. So...why?

Also feel as if 'invisible disability' is all that's spoken of now so I do wonder.

Either way and whatever the disability whether visible or not, the discrimination and lack of thought towards disabled people is a disgrace. As long as you have a nicely worded disability policy that seems to be enough, no need to action it. DP has mobility issues & Blue Badge so I see a lot of the discrimination first hand.

#When I used a manual chair, I have been MOVED by randomers, without asking me... both times I was browsing stuff on a rack and suddenly I am moved away and then someone gets in front of me to look at what I was looking at - the second time I had had one hand on a wheel and my fingers caught in the spokes so I let out a very loud swear word and the woman TOLD ME OFF FOR SWEARING.. and said I was over reacting, she just wanted to get in front of me!...

Twice I have had people allow children to climb on my powerchair when I have left it parked in a restaurant somewhere 'not in the way' and transferred to a normal seat (this is because my chair is generally too high for restaurant tables) - on both occasions the parents were busy beaming at their precocious child and objected strongly when I asked them to remove child. On one occasion apparently it was OK because the NHS loan me the chair so 'in effect we've paid for it'... (they hadn't, it was my privately funded chair, not my NHS one but even if it had been... ugh!).#

This drives me insane. To the point I don't put the handles on the back of my self propelled chair so people can't bloody do it. How fucking dare they just move me. You wouldn't lift and move anyone else, so just because I'm in a wheelchair that gives licence to be moved. Grrrrr

Power chairs- even manual chairs are expensive and mostly the NHS ones are crap. They are not toys and no you child can't just sit on it for a second. Disability is not a funny playtime matter.

I've also been asked if the children I'm with are mine- because being disabled means you can't have any- for some unknown reason.
Also, I'm being selfish having children. I'm not giving them much of a life and they will only end up the same. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Blue badge standoff. I've had loads. Been told I shouldn't have one, that I don't need one, I'm too young, just because I have children doesn't mean I should park in a disabled space. Mr walking stick following me, telling me it's not on using someone else badge. Blahh blah.

Always needing doctors notes for access to this that and the other. Price this/ prove that. Always has to be an original so I have to pay £30. everytime I need to ’prove’ my condition and disease.

I have a lot of conditions including a rare genetic skin disorder, ehlers danlos, dyspraxia and arthritis.

I have had the disbelief from employers, apparently 22 year olds are immune from disability, even the disabilities they were born with. Apparently I faked my results to fool the doctors including blood tests, xrays and ultrasounds.

Even when I explain my needs there's always someone who says 'but can't you just this one time?

I had an assessment centre for an admin job at a law firm about 10 years ago. I had agreed extra time for the tests with the agency. When I got there the invigilator was awful. She tried to refuse me the adjustment as I couldn't provide a statement of SEN from school (I was diagnosed at 21, after graduating). She argued with me for ages (in front of the other candidates, who all looked very uncomfortable) before finally relenting. When she told the others they had to stop she said 'you all need to stop now, except Demelza who gets more time than you for the same test'.

When I went for my results she told me triumphantly that I'd failed all tests, despite the extra time. I insisted on seeing my papers as I was confident I hadn't failed. She then "realised" a mistake had been made and she'd mixed up my results with someone else's and I'd passed them all and she had to invite me to interview.

Awful woman. I was much younger then and if it happened now I would have been much bolshier.

I was sacked by my NHS job because they wouldn't discuss any adjustments for me - everything I suggested was refused straight away without them even considering it. My current non-NHS healthcare job was initially good, but recently they've started seeing me to work at other locations that aren't accessible to me. On one occasion they phoned me in the morning as I was getting ready to tell me I was needed elsewhere, and that the venue didn't have parking but it was "just a 20 minute walk from the train station".

During lockdown I couldn't go shopping, as I don't look disabled enough to need anyone with me, but at the time I couldn't lift anything so couldn't do it by myself.

@chelle0 my PRC has been brilliant. I have limited movement and strength in my wrist, but my pain is so much more under control. I'll probably need further surgery in future but currently I'm discharged from the consultant as there's nothing more they can do for me.

Wanna know the worst people to deal with whilst being deaf?

Audiology doctors. People who specialise in deaf people.

They talk with their hands over the mouths…or try to talk to me whilst I don’t have my hearing aid in because I’m getting a new mould fitted.

Then they the nerve to be annoyed because they have to repeat themselves

Sadly yes, but the event would claim anyone could use that area with a disabled viewing ticket. Its also a bit of a con to get entry tickets if you get a members as they come in pairs, but its ok you can get a carer in for free on top. But as its local to me, I rarely have my carer (its really not my husbands interest) and often go in on my own.

So you had to pay more for having a disability too?! That's shocking

It was part of a members area, that you had to get an extra disabled viewing area ticket. So anyone with a members ticket could stop and use it as there are multiple ways of getting there, and at times they didn't always check if the person using the viewing area also had a ticket for that!

Genuinely not trying to be confrontational. What do you mean by 1? Did they not ask for any evidence?

Then there was the time when I was studying and wasn't allowed a key to the college lift. Only staff had them. My classroom was upstairs. I was told I had to be accompanied by a teacher to use it. Everyone else was free to come and go as they pleased but I couldn't even go to the toilet without taking a teacher with me They'd sometimes forget about me in the mornings and I'd be left waiting by the lift. I sued them too and won.

I got thrown out of a tourist attraction after a woman complained it was unfair I was allowed in with my rollator when she wasn't allowed to take a pram in. I sued them and won.

Similar experiences to others. Whilst investigating me, initally every conversation with a Dr began with "its beause you are overweight...". It took being diagnosed with MS to be told that actually its the damage causing the pain not anything else.

I hate going to park in a disabled place to find them all taken with people who dont have a disabled badge. "I was only there for a minute" yes, but that means I cant access the building next to it and have to go home or elsewhere. Its discrimination pure and simple.

Parking my mobility scooter up out of the way to access the small disabled toilet at a gig (Nottingham Arena!) and an able bodied person gets to it first without a care if anyone else was making their way. And yes I do realise she could have had an invisible disability but it made my life a bit harder. I realise now, I should have driven to the door and parked right next to it despite there being no where safe to leave it.

Most recently I went a large sporting event and used a rented mobility scooter. I had to send a long complaint afterwards due to the following issues:

1. Tickets for the disabled viewing area cost but werent always checked so was overfull and those of us who had paid the extra struggled to use it.
2. The ramp for the disabled viewing area was next to the main entrance and exit. As I was trying to exit, a woman decided to stop and chat to her friend in front of me. I managed to avoid driving into her but still hit her bag, and I was then treated to a stream of abuse about how dare I hit her bag. Not at all concerned that she had blocked my route and I had only just avoided hitting her.
3. There were many shopping stands, some were on the flat or had a ramp and could easily be accessed but others involved a step up, which is difficult for me, but impossble to those permantly in a chair.
4. The terrain is countryside, and disabled are given no assistance as to safer routes to take, just left to find their own way, and I often found the camber too steep and had to turn back and find other routes. The main disabled car park itself is on quite a steep camber at the bottom.
5. The whole thing made me realise how lucky I am not to be full time wheelchair user yet as I never felt so invisible, many people just stopping in front of me, or walking across my path and expecting me to stop, or just not seeing me as I was not at their height.

My current manager at work (don't worry I leave in 3 weeks time) told me I can't be "that disabled" because I can get to the toilet using my walking frame when my husband is at work.

Was actually speechless and was one of the reasons i am leaving.

Hearing here but my colleagues are deaf... so many times people will say to an interpreter or myself, can you tell them or not even look at the person they should be talking too.... Lots of eye rolling happens

😞 this makes me so cross.. things are steadily improving but still not perfect

@LoveMyCats1 That is very interesting as Jet2 was the airline we flew with also. I also heard a member of staff say 'is it just me or do most kids these days seem to have autism or adhd' and laugh then walk off! We certainly will not be flying with them again.

Like life isn't hard enough having a disability then people or their children have to face horrible discrimination aswell.

My employer forced me to put a poster up on the office wall explaining what to do if I had an episode of my [hidden] disability. This was after an eight month struggle with OH to have my long term, incurable condition recognised as a disability.

Reasonable adjustments were refused. I had only asked for no lone working so that I could do my job safely and not find myself having an episode while working one to one with a service user, which was embarrassing for me and quite scary for them. All I got out of my employer was the suggestion that I should consider wearing a scarf in the winter.

I went sick for four months with something else and when I asked to go back to work, they dispensed with my services.

I had worked in this university department for nearly ten years.The university is publicly proud of its commitment to equality and diversity.

The council were my worst employers, I couldn't attend meetings, ironically on disability, because they chose building with no lifts and put the meetings on the 1st floor.

I lost my job whilst in the cardiac unit related to disability, they told me it was because I'd had too much time off but put the leaving criteria as no funding to get round it. I had no rights it was my word against theirs and I'd been there a year.

I've been declined by supermarkets because I can't shelf stack, as I'm unable to manual handle, but could work on tills fine and inheritance employees do tills only.

I was declined progression on inpatient wards with the excuse I couldn't restrain a patient but no one taught me or would take the time to adapt it safely. People are working on these wards who do not restrain.

The job centre employee refused to put me on JSA as they felt "no one will want you in that state you're better off on DSl".

I was pulled up at work for taking too long to go to the toilet when the disabled toilet was on the ground floor and the lift was out of order, other employees had access to several toilets on the same floor as the office. Similarly for lunch there was no reasonable adjustment to let me get out the building to get lunch and return and eat it like everyone else.

I was refused a job because I turned up to interview on crutches which was part of my disability they felt it didn't fit with the department despite being an equal opportunity employer. The interview was held upstairs with no lift.

I have albinism, so have visibly white skin and poor eye sight. We moved houses when I just turned four and my parents started me in the local village primary. I was bullied horrifically over the three weeks I was there and the school called my parents and said they’d have to remove me as they couldn’t guarantee my safety.

Growing up we’d go on holiday and we’d have other families pulling their kids away from us as they thought we must be contagious. even now as a 39 year old adult I get some awful comments out in public, particularly when I’m wearing the large dark glasses I have to manage glare.

work has been very mixed. My bosses are incredibly supportive of me, but sometimes it feels like such a battle to get reasonable accommodations through our processes at work. For example I have the two lights above my assigned desk in our open plan office turned off. On more than one occasion I’ve come in to find the lights turned on again - at one point two of our exec directors got up on chairs and taped cardboard over the light while we were waiting for facilities to come and turn them off again!

I know I’m really lucky to have such a supportive team but I’ve had a number of incidents at work where I could have been seriously injured because care wasn’t taken, for example for a while we had tape marking the edges of one set of stairs and the facilities took the tape off just the top step. If I hadn’t already grabbed the handrail I could have been badly hurt from that fall.

Too many and big hugs and sympathy to all pp.

On a slightly lighter note...very few disabled toilets (those without drunk men, half the shops backroom, cleaning supplies etc) VERY few have mirrors.
As a vain disabled person I am really agrivated by this every single time.

So much!

The fact that I get excited when a venue has a 'changing places' just shows how inaccessible most places are.

Having people rage when I park in a disabled spot without even looking for the blue badge (because I'm a young woman and apparently only those over the age of 70 should have a blue badge!). Got out of the car once in a multistory and saw a parking attendant clock me parking in a disabled bay and come running down from a different level to check for a blue badge. Said nothing to me, but when he saw that I did in fact have one, stared me out until I left the building! I find people really want to find a reason to be indignant.

To have my child's SEN team refuse to make reasonable adjustments for me in meetings. These are the people who truly believe that only children can be neurodivergent.

I can shrug most of these off when they're aimed at me, but when my disabled child gets it, I get all mama bear and don't back down. Kids can be horrible to those who look or act different, but I wish their parents would react appropriately. Having teenagers mock a disabled 3 year old's stims is pretty damn low.

Last week I sobbed my heart out because a little girl in the park started playing with my DS and she didn't treat him any differently at all. But then her gran decided she shouldn't be playing with 'that boy' and tore her away 😢. Thankfully I don't think my son understood what happened, but he was upset that the little girl stopped playing with him as he was having loads of fun.

I've started to become a bit of a recluse as I just can't take people's hatred and bitchyness anymore.

I've had comments about "everyone gets tired, it's normal" from my supervisor when I was working or "you're just a bit tired, have an esspresso or two and you'll be fine". This was pre-wheelchair. I wasn't "just tired", I have ME/CFS, my energy level is at 50% of the average person on a brilliant day. On a more normal day, it's at 25% and by the time I'd got up, had a shower, got ready for work, had breakfast and taken the dog to daycare, I was at around 5%. None of that was normal, but you can't phone in sick with "I'm out of energy" in the NHS.

I'm now in a wheelchair as my condition deteriorated. I knew life was shit as a wheelchair user, but it's worse than I imagined. I've had people just grab the back of the wheelchair to "help" me. No, grabbing the back of my chair and pushing me when I'm wheeling myself is not in the slightest bit helpful. On one occasion, it ended with me almost being pushed into a busy road. No apology from the pushee, just a "I was only being helpful!"
I've been ignored in shops by staff, been spoken to by staff and random people like I'm a five year old. I've been asked where my carer is and why I'm out alone. I've been conversely told I'm "brave" for going out alone.
The last one I'm almost tempted to turn on the random person by telling them they must be so brave to venture out walking.
I've been told that wheelchair users shouldn't work or that I can't work because I'm in a wheelchair. No, you just don't have the imagination to figure out how the job could be done by a wheelchair user. I can guarantee the wheelchair user could tell you if you asked.

So my list is fairly endless really, so including but not limited to :

I didn't have great or receptive parents and siblings was made to feel crap about myself in the family home
Bullied throughout high school, and even had teachers as well as pupils openly question my right to be there at what was a (mainstream) failing comprehensive, so it wasn't like I was receiving some spectacular education anyway. It is interesting that they didn't question they were entitled to an education they felt I was unentitled to.
I also had someone in uni, when you would hope for people to be adult, question why I had not gone to one for "people like me"

At high school in particular, the PE teacher singled me out for weekly ritual humiliations til she left at the end of Year 9

So the "you don't belong here" narrative started for me at aged 9 ish and has never stopped.

I suffer from the age old problem of people speaking to me like I'm a 3 year old they've just given a balloon.

OTT saccharine voiced, out of the ark nonsense which was being challenged by activism in the Eighties and people still fucking do it.

I have had so many carers say how much they have learned about societal barriers both physical and social just by being stood next to me and seeing what happens.

Random people I don't know thinking they can comment as they like.

Three separate occasions in shops I have been directly asked if I understood the price, and if I could afford it. The last time was when I prepaid for a course of treatment at a salon. Every time I attended it was made clear to me that I was not the sort of clientele they were looking for, my money, apparently was not as good as others.

Endlessly, endlessly, across settings the person with me being asked questions that should be directed at me, the last person to do this was a minority too, so should have known better. It also weirdly seems to happen a lot in healthcare settings

Was once told to my face that the charity I'd applied to for a job would never employ me due to my speech. I really should have taken them to court for outright breach of the Equality Act but I'd been involved as a volunteer for years and this rejection absolutely destroyed my mental health. I don't doubt that my impairments have also seen me be rejected for other jobs but that's the only one I can prove.

I have had endless problems with bus drivers speaking to me like a pain in the arse, and the occasional but not that often jostling for space.
Train drivers fine, but I once got a train for someone else in the carriage to start shouting Benefits at me, just that, the word Benefits, on its own. Taxi drivers make it clear they don't want to take me, and act like they are doing me a favour, even though I'm paying them. On a London visit, I had at least 3 taxis refuse me service by just driving off. I hate getting taxis so much now that I recently motored along about 60 mins in the rain, because it was preferable.

And that @Givenuptotally is the tip of a very big iceberg

and @WiddlinDiddlin - I absolutely hear you on the accessible toilets that aren't big enough to get a wheelchair in issue. I once asked for one to be opened only to find a drunk man lying on the floor

@DuckWithOneWing

Yay! But not yay because it's absolute crap at times! I don't feel so alone now! Did it work for you? I don't think they ever offered me PRC, I had it fused 12 years ago.