Debate over children in public places

Both answers are right. Children shouldn't be actively disruptive, messy, loud, etc in public spaces but at the same time, they're children. They're learning how to act in public and an inevitable part of that is going to involve them sometimes behaving in a negative way (or what others perceive as negative based on their own individual notions of what is or isn't acceptable).

A little bit of tolerance and minding your own business goes a long way.

Well there's more than 13 kids in the class so that's where the difference lies. You also probably have no idea which dc are nd or have other asn as you don't work there

A bit of both. I don't mind children crying/shouting/running around, my main gripes are actually adults watching TV or listening to music without headphones, loud phone calls or eating smelly food!

Schools that have a reputation for being nurturing often have a higher proportion of ND children simply because they offer a supportive environment. In my area, School A has very few ND children because School A is shit at supporting them and actively creates a hostile environment in the hopes that their parents will remove them. School B and School C have a high proportion of ND pupils, many of them in-year transfers from School A, and are known to be really good with children who have additional needs.

Both.

When you venture out into a public place you have to accept that people might annoy you, because not all people behave in the same way as you.

People being drunk or loutish dick heads and kids being allowed to run absolutely wild with no regard for others is wrong, but what can you honestly do about it?

Some children are loud, some are quiet, parents can't make a loud child be quiet.
Some are inquisitive and talk a lot and ask a lot of questions.
Some kids are messy (parents should clear up any mess).
Some children may have autism, adhd, learning disabilities, and affects how parents will be able to rein them in.

There just needs to be tolerance, understanding and awareness of other people in the same space.

And also I don't know why you're so 'concerned' about the existence of neurotypicals? We're not diseased.

Don't be so defensive. I just thought it very strange that 11+ children in one class have/or are on the path to having some sort of diagnosis. There's only 13 children in my same aged child's class so I would find it concerning if that was replicated on a societal level.

Parents should do what is reasonably possible to teach their child and manage their child's behaviour. Some children take longer than others to learn ( as is the case in all areas of child development). A few will never manage 'socially acceptable' behaviour but as long as the behaviour is not dangerous, they still have a right to be in public places.

The thing I don't like is:

screeching children on trains/tubes
children running around where there are hot drinks (e.g. on trains) - there was an accident - not involving me but a parent not watching a child who knocked over a hot cup of coffee - luckily not on himself but onto another person... Child was playing a game.

I see a mother with 2 under 4 boys on an express bus most evenings. The other evening she didn't have her phone so let her boys out of their double buggy, they stood up on seats/her laps and were surprisingly well behaved. The one thing she has with them and gives them is snacks, a lot. Never had much of these when I was young!

Reaching there.

I'm out and about sometimes and honestly can't say I've noticed much of the kicking off and screeching often mentioned on here. Kids do get a bad rep on here.

Only example I can think of was a baby on the plane, screaming blue murder, but what are you going to do? Hardly something the mum or dad could do but look sheepishly around, but most folk were glancing sympathetically back.

Situation A: Mother and lovely 3 year old sitting reading together on the train.
Situation B: The 3 year old spills their drink, wets themselves, bangs their head on the carriage window and the Mother doesn't know what to sort out first.

It can go from A to B in 10 seconds.

Fucking phone

Many years ago it was common for many adults to parent a child in public I was scared of an escalator my mom got on I didn't the next adult took my hand encouraged me on took me up to my mom I ran off in town was quickly grabbed and returned to my mom these days you dont get that you get people standing by watching you judging your every movement so kids can run further play up more I even remember going to put a sweet in my mouth and the man next to me saying we pay first yes there was stranger danger but there was always people around

Hi @mavismorpoth I don’t disagree with you, but you left out the bit where you also don’t agree with people who speak on their phones, people who argue, or day I say it people are speak about things you disagree with, ie political matters. After all, you’re speaking about other passengers being a nuisance. Children can be but they’re not as bad as adults who do have capacity to control their behaviour

Many years ago it was co

@katmeouws Yes if the driver is being disturbed

I cannot imagine a toddler tantrum making it dangerous for a driver to drive a bus.
Most people aren’t SAHPs with only one child and no responsibilities, they might be on their way to work, on their way to pick up a sibling from school, on their way to an appointment and can’t just get off transport because their toddler is whinging because they are tired, or don’t want their shoes on or wants a biscuit or can’t pet the dog at the bus stop.

It’s really not very often I see a child kicking off and their parent sat on a phone ignoring it. Most people try their best to make sure their kids aren’t being little shits but ultimately their behaviour isn’t as predictable as an adults.

It really isn’t as black and white as your voting options. Some children have difficulties, toddlers have no reasoning skills and babies have a natural instinct to cry.

parents and children get enough slack as it is in our society, all because children act like children. Don’t add to it.

I live in Japan and the rule is silence on public transport, inluding the kids. And they do it. It's really nice and peaceful. I'm sure some toddler must have a meltdown sometimes though. Children will be children no matter how great a parent.

It's both.

Some noise can't be helped ,a baby crying for a feed ,toddler upset etc obviously parents should try and control their children's behaviour to an extent ,to be that poster my son has severe autism and learning disabilities, we rarely take public transport,however one of his behaviours is shrieking ,he can't help this I think he must gey sensory feedback from it ,he will do it loudly and randomly wherever we are ,he doesn't have to cognitive ability to understand that it annoys others.

This.

It’s about picking your battles too.

I think it's both.

I’d expect a bus driver is used to loud people and noises, and probably isn’t a very good bus driver if a tantrum has him verging in to being ‘dangerous’ and smashing into other vehicles.

So what do you do if your toddler is having a tantrum on the bus? Do you have to get off and walk home as punishment because you couldn’t ‘control your child’.

Yes if the driver is being disturbed

Botton line: we have to exist in the same spaces as children. Sometimes children are loud and won’t do as they’re told. Adults who are not the parents can just bloody well get over it!

I think it's both too.