To ask my partner for a vasectomy

I struggled with all versions of the pill but feel great on the implant.
You can have the depo injection first as it's the same hormones but only lasts 12 weeks so if you react well you know you'll have a good chance of a good reaction to the implant. I don't get periods with it which is great.
That being said we're on the waiting list for a vasectomy and your dh needs to man up or forgo sex

Wasn't a difficult decision for my DH as we had no4 who was premature, didn't ever want to go through all that again. Both of us. He had it done when youngest was 6mo. Huge relief to never have to worry again at our ages (40s).

I haven’t read any other replies but I’m going to assume by this you don’t think it’s possible for two people to have the same opinion if it differs from yours.

Thank you for your support

But don’t worry about me - as I said in my first post on this thread - to anyone who wants to disagree with me on this issue, bring it on.

I am crystal clear that men who opt are are the very definition of pathetic.

Withdrawing sex is not a form of abuse. How often do we say on here that a man who's not ready to take the risk of having a child shouldn't be having sex?

Your approach is forcing a woman to do things she doesn't want to do for her own physical and mental health after she's already gone through multiple pregnancies and miscarriages, but sure, let's tell her she's abusing her husband by not wanting to do that again.

I posted the same question, with a similar backstory, a few years ago and absolutely got my arse handed to me. It's interesting to see the difference in responses.

The reason I asked unthread as to the age of the Op and her partner is if under 40, I’m not sure I’d entertain either being sterilised. You just don’t know what the future holds. Worst case scenario op or her husband suddenly pass away and husband/wife meets someone else and wants to start another family. These things do happen.

Part of the reason I was happy for my DH to have a vasectomy so young was because I don't want him to have children with other people.
I have half siblings and step parents and it's made life so much harder (step parents more than the half siblings tbh).
And I've seen all the parenting boards of people struggling being step parents, with new children being favoured.
If I tragically died tomorrow, I like to think my DH would put the needs of our current children first. Not be off finding a new wife and concentrating on making more children with her, which in turn would create even more chaos in a horrific time for our actual children.
I like that he's thought about the future for our current children and these 2 are enough for him.

Similar situation, DH not entirely comfortable with it but equally understands it's the most sensible and fairest solution for us. Obviously I can't force him, it's his choice, but equally we have chatted and he accepts how one sided contraception and related issues have been to date and thankfully he's a good man!

(And just to add I've gotten pregnant on the copper coil and get some symptoms so whilst it's been a good option through my 20s and 30s, I'm done now!)

Withdrawing sex as a means to force someone into something they don’t want to do is abuse.

Whereas having PIV sex with a women, while expecting her to carry 100% of the contraceptive load and opting out ENTIRELY is really …. what …. noble….?

You wouldn’t consider a small procedure that is now done in GPs surgeries, to prevent your wife having to endure anymore hormonal contraceptions, having had miscarriages and gone through two labours?

I agree with the poster you’re laying into. Decent men would just do it.

My DH was being difficult about this, but then realised it was killing our marriage.
I knew he was being stubborn (he later admitted it). No he didn’t like the idea, but I went through hell having our kids and was done messing with my body.

men need to step up if they are committed to the relationship.

Withdrawing sex as a means to force someone into something they don’t want to do is abuse

Oh my god. Have I honestly just read this? Have I stumbled onto www.pick-me-handmaiden.net?

OP I could’ve written this myself! We only use condoms now and just this month it somehow came off inside me without us knowing. Cue me having to have to take the MAP. I am really disappointed in DH that he won’t do this for our family when He watched me almost die having our youngest. It’s a really selfish attitude these men have that it’s not their responsibility.

women are fertile for a few days a month, men are fertile all the time...yet the majority of contraception was developed for women...BY MEN 🙄

🤷🏻‍♀️

YABU. You can’t force someone into a surgery they don’t want, nor should you try to because of reasons.

He’s said no. The answer is no and you need to accept it.

So you either need to get the procedure done yourself or use another form of contraception.

Withdrawing sex as a means to force someone into something they don’t want to do is abuse.

I'm another "unpleasant individual" too then! I do think these men are pathetic and I have a similar opinion of the women who jump in to defend them.

Oh. I’m tired and wrote that wrong. You’re obviously not pathetic, he is.

It’s time for him to step up. You’ve been through a lot and trying different hormonal contraceptives, all of which are making you ill, just so he doesn’t have to have a 3mm cut in his nut sack, is pathetic.

You have proven in your last two posts to be an unpleasant individual.

This really. No one should be forced to have surgery they do not want. But it means you have to then look at the other options and remove those that are not acceptable to you, which is also very valid, and see what is left.

How old is he?

Snip it, wrap it up or don't come near me.
After decades of pills, pregnancies and breastfeeding I didn't feel at bad pressuring him into a medical procedure. Not that I had to, it was his idea.

And yes, I categorically do think such men are pathetic. No question.

I am sorry for any woman in the position of having to defend such men.

Certainly the women are well shot of such sub-standard specimen.

Certainly, if I were a man, I wouldn't do it for you. Any need to call people pathetic. There are numerous women on this thread who wanted their partners to sterilize themselves. They refused, and they're now not together.
Good call on the part of the men.