To ask my partner for a vasectomy

Okay. But I didn’t reply to the OP.
I replied to a comment made 2 days ago.
What’s your point?

He needs to understand his responsibilities though.

In my case I was sterilised via cancer prevention surgery so that solved the issue. But if I had not been having that procedure it would have been vasectomy, condoms or no sex. Simple as that. Men don’t get to be squeamish about a simple procedure AND refuse to use condoms AND expect their wife to use hormonal contraceptives. Not in my book.

Yup, this.

If you know you don’t want more kids then go for your own permanent solution.

FWIW reversal is BRUTAL. If you ever break up and he wants more kids he’ll have a difficult and very painful path to walk.

Edit - just seen the last post and seen this was a thread revival batman! 🤣

This thread is two years old!

You for real?!?!

hysterectomy aka MAJOR SURGERY (!!!) Vs a vasectomy? Which can be reversed.

Are you on glue?!?!

The way I see it if men say they're worried about a vasectomy is... do they not think their partners were ever worried about having an emergency csection, an induction, forceps, ventouse, an episiotomy, a 3rd or 4th degree tear, or ANY tearing, having stitches there, a manual removal of the placenta and then the recovery which can take years for some women and stories of women needing reconstructive surgery afterwards when she was pregnant? Because ALL that stuff is grim and scary and has potential for trauma leaving her with psychological damage. Women don't have a choice about facing any of these risks after you got them pregnant.

But it's ok, you sit this one out because it might hurt a little bit. Man up.

A fucking hysterectomy? I hope you're being satirical. Fucking hell 😂

Can you ask for a hysterectomy instead? Sorry but I don't agree with your husbands life being permanently affected. I know you have been together over 10 years but some relationships end after longer and if this did happen, it's not fair to permanently impact his future.

Can’t believe all these women saying ‘just shove a piece of barbed wire up your vag, love’ to prevent the poor little squeamish man having to put himself through a tiny bit of momentary discomfort. After all you’ve been through! Tell him to get on with it or no more sex.

It's all on us, ladies. Poor the menz.

Except tying your tubes and a vasectomy have vastly different risks. The vasectomy having lower risks out of the two.

Women: step up. Just sort it out.

Don’t expect me men to do anything. That’s completely unreasonable.

Coils and my experience.

I’ve had both coils. Copper made no difference to my periods. Mirena (sp) my periods have stopped.

I’ve noticed no other side effects.

Yes it’s uncomfortable going in just like a prolonged smear I felt.

Would 100% recommend one. If you are sensitive to hormones go for a copper coil.

Good Luck OP

He is being a selfish prick.

My OH had it done. It is not like it was years ago.
Quick easy and barely even a bruise.

Imagine the outrage if he was upset because you wouldn't get sterilised. They'd all be telling you to leave him.

I also found that no contraceptive worked well for me after having our 3rd I opted to be sterilised, made most sense for us as I wasn't working whilst hubby does heavy lifting at work and at that time the waiting time for men was over a year whilst from me talking to GP at my 6wk check to the op was less than 12months and most of that was awaiting the initial gyno consult. So either he needs to step up or you decide to get sterilised. I would stop taking the pill though x

I'm of the opinion that you can't tell him what to do with his body, just as he couldn't tell you what to do with yours.

So he doesn't want the snip, you don't want to take the pill. You both need to decide together what you're going to do whether it be condoms, abstinence or something else that you're both happy with.

I'm the same on the pill - horrendous moods and depression. DH knows my stance on the snip and I'd never push him to get it (the opposite infact - morbid but what if me and the children die tomorrow, he might meet someone else and want more children). He says he wants it done as he doesn't want me suffering anymore.
He's gone off his own back to get referred and I've got the copper coil (due to the mirena being the same as the mini pill/injection that I react to).

DH had his done 8 years ago. He said it felt like he’d been kicked in the bollocks afterwards but we’ve had no scares since. Unfortunately the surgeon did tug on the Vas Deferens a little too hard and he still has a bit of ongoing pain from time to time. This was a mistake on the behalf of the surgeon so up to you whether you mention it to your DH.

I personally know someone who went in happily for it and ended up really injured. He was on bed rest and in immense pain for a few weeks and didn't heal completely for a few months. Unfortunately it is a medical procedure and bad things can happen.

You said you only tried the pill, but there are a lot of other contraceptives. I don't blame him for being worried or nervous, it's a sensitive area. I also don't blame you for not wanting to take a pill if you've had a bad reaction, but even then there are different kinds of pills.

I hope you can find a solution that takes both your feelings and bodies into consideration.

🎯

Same boat here too. I’ve been on the pill since I was 17, I’m now 34 and had 2 children. I had the copper coil after my first child and it worked so well! I was a different person. Had it removed to have my second, put back in after having him and it just made me bleed constantly for months so it had to be removed.
ive mentioned the snip to my husband several times and he has offered to have it but does nothing about it.

Funny how women with selfish husbands know ALL the stats about ‘side effects’ for the poor men. I wonder if those heroes even give a shit about the stats about women’s health?

Same here. Works well for us as my husband doesn't want a vasectomy and I am a horror on the pill. It means we both get to keep our bodies how we want them and would recommend i

The long term pain includes anything that lasts more than a few weeks I think. And doesn't distinguish between chronic agony and the occasional twinge. I'm sure there are occasionally men who have serious lasting issues, but side effects are very very rare. In contrast, side effects from birth control or female sterilization are more or less guaranteed. It's not a good excuse.

Vasectomys are easily reversed.
Your husband is being selfish, end of. He promised something & is now delaying for no reason while you suffer, yet again!!
I’d be seriously considering how much he actually cared about me after everything he has clearly seen you go though!!!