"All men cheat, you just never find out about it"

Well yes anyone can cheat but many just would not no matter what the circumstances.

I never have and absolutely know for certain I never would. I totally believe in marriage and take the vows seriously. I also think cheating is totally wrong. If you love and respect someone why would you treat them so badly? I could never ever do that to my DH plus I could never live with myself

I think most men would cheat if there was no chance of getting found out

but not all

I don’t think love and being in a happy relationship always comes into why men cheat

Nah I don't agree with this at all. I think there's different types of men and alot are sleazebags (like my ex) but I would confidently say the men in my life (family, husband etc.) have never and would never cheat (maybe one would...) same goes for women, I know I never would and know others that wouldn't either, but I know some that would given the chance!

I’ve never been surprised at this, tbh. Women have been socialised and sold this pup that sex is a magical and special gift between people who love each other, and that you’re supposed to settle down with one person who you truly love, and this is the only person you will have sex with forever and ever and mustn’t so much as look at anyone else. It’s the patriarchy’s way of keeping women in line and ensuring a man has sexual exclusivity of his property.

Men know the above is all bullshit and made up to keep women in line, aren’t socialised for signing up for it in the same way, and feel far more freedom to acknowledge that sex can just be sex.

I've said this on here before and I'll say it again. I used to work (no, not taking money for sex) in the sex industry loosely shall we say.

The sheer VOLUME of married men, new babies at home, loving grandfathers (who would often, mindbogglingly, speak about their grandchildren etc) married for 50 years types, people you would never look at and think they would cheat. Well, they do. And if they don't actually get to, they want to. The amount of old men who would sleep with a just turned 18 year old as well. They loved much, much younger. Or much, much older in some cases! It was eye opening. But now I can't really look at friendly old grandpas out with little Charlie the same. I feel like I KNOW. I wouldn't say ALL men though, no. What I would say, and it's just my opinion, is that if most men get the opportunity, they would.

Anybody is the right set of circumstances can cheat. Anybody

Read the relationship board. There are so many posters who start threads either saying their H is acting a bit strange and distant or has suddenly announced they are not happy and don’t know if they want to be married. 100 posters will reply saying sorry OP I think there’s another woman involved. The OP will reply, no, no, no my H would never cheat, in fact he was very disappointed with such and such who did cheat. 3 pages of replies later the OP returns saying it looks like there is another woman after all.

Where do these figures of 73% dropping to 50% or 40% come from?

I don't believe any of them.

He's a cheat and making himself feel better by pretending all men do it.

I travelled away for work for a couple of years in quite nice hotels.
I had to stop going to the gym, eating in the restaurant, sitting in the bar with a book as I was getting hassled so much by men.
Sadly the majority of them were wearing wedding rings.
It gave me a low opinion of men - I could've been shagging almost every night if I wanted.
Instead I was having room service unless a work colleague was staying in the hotel then we'd have a meal, etc. Even then if we were two women we'd still get approached...
I know not all men are like this but I think there is a certain type that's a bit of a chancer & if the opportunity arises, they won't say no.

Like "all men watch porn" its a statement used by men to justify their behaviour and women to justify putting up with it.

Interestingly I've never heard a woman say "all women cheat" despite the rates being similar in pretty much every study I've seen.

I don't believe it's true.
And say that having been cheated on.

Anecdata: big awards event with work, with circa 1000 people there. I know from my circle, any one could have done anything and no way of anyone back home knowing.

What actually happened was, we all stuck together, got stupidly pissed then stumbled back to our hotel together all parting ways in the lobby.

I didn't see a single bit of "frisson" between anyone when I was people watching.

The most I saw was me being bought a drink by my colleagues old colleague, bit flirty but good natured flirty. Not sexual flirty.

So if everyone there had a 100% safe option to cheat, and not one person in my party (of 7, me being the only woman) we know for definite that the original statement is bullshit.

I'm afraid I agree with him given my own experiences and the amount of married or "taken" men who have hit on me.

Shan't say where it actually was but i started in purchasing and moved onto accounts, almost entirely women in the offices. A few men worked there but they were the exception.

The most reliable method of determining who was cheating was looking at how many photos of wife/family were on their desk. The cheaters always had loads of photos.

I'll have to give OH a row, he had lots of pictures of us and the girls. He only went away occasionally though.

Yup.
Often it's lack of opportunity that keeps men faithful.

When I worked in contracting casual sex while guys were away was rife. They looked at it as scratching an itch. The most reliable method of determining who was cheating was looking at how many photos of wife/family were on their desk. The cheaters always had loads of photos.

What was the industry?

I'm on the opposite side, I mainly worked with women and they were pretty awful. Weekends away with the girls were usually just an excuse for random hook ups. One night stands and random sex on a night out seemed not to count as being unfaithful. There was one delightful young lady used to say 'if you have an itch you need to scratch it', she was actually quite a nice person apart from that aspect.

There's two elements to this really: your friend's comment reveals more about him than it does about your partner. It shows he has low personal moral standards and what he says tells you very little about what your partner does.

But I have to say I think there's a fair bit of truth in what he says. I think an awful lot of men would cheat if they thought they could get away with it and a large amount engage in "soft" cheating (a one-off snog, flirty messages but stopping short of actually having sex and having an affair).

I don't believe humans are emotionally or physically designed to remain faithful to one another for more than a few years if there's no external factor keeping them together (usually children or a shared property).

It's only the fear of losing these that stops people cheating (or keeps the cheating under the radar), as opposed to a sense of the importance of the individual they are in a relationship with.

Agree with a PP that a lot more men cheat than most people would realise. It is incredibly common. Fabswingers is full of them.

But no, not all men cheat at all.

People are less likely to be pressured into entering or staying in marriages they don't want now, which might be a factor. Women are more able to leave so if a man wants to stay married, he might be more inclined to walk the line.

It's also possible that a lot of people don't count online affairs.

I think both sexes can and will cheat. Doesn’t mean all will. Out of everyone I know on a personal level I would say around 90% have cheated at some point in their lives. Most of them have only revealed it because someone else has come clean. Some are one time things and some are serial cheats who have cheated in every relationship. Friends hide it because it’s none of their business.

Fascinatingly defensive responses/denial on this thread. The old figures of men who cheated on spouses was 73%. How or why it's dropped to 40-50% is hard to understand, given how many more avenues are now open for people to find cheating partners, with apps designed for this particular purpose, etc etc.

None of the men in my family (bar my ex-husband) have cheated or would ever cheat. It's never even come up as an issue. It's just not something they would ever do. All very long marriages.

The gossip always suggests that everyone is getting loads of action. Late night liaisons at the office. Swinging in the 'burbs.

The reality in survey after survey is that people, once they're settled down, prefer TV to the simple aggravation of being unfaithful.

Not so many people want to acknowledge that life is that banal.

I know precisely one man who I know has been unfaithful. He was a contractor working in a foreign country without his wife. I also have my suspicions about 1 woman. That's it. No one else.

I daresay if I worked in banking or in a strip club my experience would be different but like most people I don't.

Btw the survey I mentioned above was premised on particular acts (including snogging) as infidelity so it's not as if any of the respondents could say 'yeah, I had a sex worker over every Tuesday but It didn't regard it as cheating so it wasn't'.