"All men cheat, you just never find out about it"

It is not niave, it is realistic.

Who is looking after the baby/child? What percentage are women what percentage are men?

How many heterosexual men are sex workers?

How many women go after younger, easy manipulated men?

I think women typically have far more opportunity to cheat, because even if they don't get frequent offers, most would be able to find a willing man very easily if they wanted to. I think this probably makes cheating seem less desirable, as its not some irresistible chance, too rare to pass up. Turn one down and there'll be another along soon enough if you change your mind.
Men on the other hand are less likely to be presented with the opportunity, and often talk about how flattering they found it to be on the recieving end of another woman's interest, as particularly after a certain age, that happens very rarely for them.
There are other men, like the OPs friend, who are aspiring cheats. They actively pursue other women and work very hard at every opportunity to find one. With these it's largely a numbers game. Put enough time in and eventually they get lucky. I've yet to come across a female equivalent of this type. Again, probably because women wouldn't need to do this.

@Creasedlinen if you don't mind your partner making leary sexual remarks to other people that's fine and your own boundaries. but for most people it would certainly be cheating.

To assume the half of the human populace with XY chromosomes has more of a propensity to cheat than the XX half is naive in the extreme.

That a male can say this - much less actually believe it - is revealing of an ingrained misogyny that assumes only men have sexual needs, and that women are merely receptacles for those needs. As attitudes go, that one is pretty revolting.

I'm betting the kind of man who trumpets this would be the first to be appalled should their partners happen to cheat on them.

Which streets are you walking down?!

And a comment, whilst obnoxious, is hardly infidelity

I think, in a lifetime, the vast majority of men (and women) will cheat. I think people can go through very long periods where they don't cheat and often when they do, there is a shit storm of circumstances leading up to it, but yes most people will have cheated at some point.

Life's not black and white and I do believe it's perfectly possible to be a basically decent person and to have cheated. Some cheats aren't decent people of course, but cheating alone doesn't make a person bad IMO.

Horribly hurtful when it happens to you, but the perpetrator can still be a perfectly good person making a valuable contribution to human life.

If someone wants to/has cheated in 4 short years, they will obviously do it again so marry at your peril

But, I am saying, ina lifetime, yes, I think most men will have cheated in one form or another.

Not after 4 years though OP

What?! There is no magic cutoff. Some men manage to cheat the night before if not at their own actual weddings!

I believe most men do, yes., in one form or another.

Not after 4 years though OP

No, not all men cheat and no, not all woman cheat. I’m sure a lot do, maybe even half. Who knows; but no I don’t agree with this statement

Nearly correct. However unremitted sexual activity ends with children born who have no stable family environment. The children nearly always end up being cared for by the woman. This unrelenting burden is shared by the taxpayer in our country. Or if government support is not available children are either brought up in destitution or they die.

This is absolutely true. And for many men, the fact that there is government support for women raising children alone and the fact that more women are economically self-sufficient than every before, is a green light to allow themselves off the hook. Not that they weren't cheating in the past, but they were much more conscious of the jeopardy they were putting their children into by doing so and probably more careful.

I'm not suggesting that government support for single mothers or women being able to support themselves are bad things, btw. I think they are essential in a civilised society and tbh the less women rely on their husbands for financial support the better protected they and their children are.

Nearly correct. However unremitted sexual activity ends with children born who have no stable family environment. The children nearly always end up being cared for by the woman. This unrelenting burden is shared by the taxpayer in our country. Or if government support is not available children are either brought up in destitution or they die.

The idea that sex is free from obligation just isn't true. Of course, it's great fun until the lines appear on the test or one catches an std. I know that Dp previous to me had a wonderful time, however, some of these women do persist in reappearing to ask if he is 'ok', (Code for lets shag).

Socially I believe respect for people of either sex in a relationship isn't given, people feel entitled to do as they please. Just look at the 'other' woman thread.
It's the world we all inhabit now, there is no girl code or a ring that means keep away.

@RedAppleGirl I'm sure many women do, however the women I've seen doing it is absolutely nowhere near the same frequency as the men.
you only need to walk down the street to see married men making comments at women passing by to see general lack of respect for their relationships, and willingness to look elsewhere is common.

@ComtesseDeSpair

It’s the patriarchy’s way of keeping women in line and ensuring a man has sexual exclusivity of his property.
Men know the above is all bullshit and made up to keep women in line, aren’t socialised for signing up for it in the same way, and feel far more freedom to acknowledge that sex can just be sex.

This is spot on. Men instinctively realise this as well. They understand that the appearance of fidelity and adherence to its surface rules is very important but that as long as that line is toed, anything else goes. A bit like going to church regularly was a few decades ago.

They don't want to flagrantly insult or upset the person who is raising their kids and doing their washing, cooking and life admin. But underneath most of them are totally clear-eyed about the fact that long-lasting romantic love within a marriage is an oxymoron. It simply isn't possible to sustain long-running desire for the person who washes your pants for decades on end. In an absolute best-case scenario you achieve a mutual respect and friendship but the "romantic" underpinning of marriage which so many women are sold is complete horseshit and men know this.

To be honest I can't really blame them. I would probably feel very much the same if I were a married man. Marriage is a brilliant way of organising family labour and caring for children but it is suicide for the soul.

We used to have a works conference each year, officially to thank everyone for their efforts but really it was a piss up (no partners). Arrived Thursday evening and conference Friday meal in the evening and recovery Saturday morning leave after lunch. Thursday evening and Friday evening it was like watching musical bedrooms, Not all but quite a few.

I suspect some men will cheat.
I suspect some women will cheat.
I suspect some men steal.
I suspect some women steal.
I doubt that doing the wrong thing is restricted to one sex.

All this and yet the only survey mentioned so far suggests that about 80% of men never cheat.

And women on work nights-girls nights out-away.
I think cheating is common, for both sexes, women just don't or won't admit it.

All men? No. But, having worked almost solely with men for decades (and spent a lot of time working away from home) I would say it’s far, far higher than you would imagine. Some try and hide it, be discreet. Some utterly flaunt it and don’t give a shit who knows! The “happily married” ones are the worst too. Personally, I think men have a much greater ability to compartmentalise than women….they put the wife who they do love “in a box” and then what happens on tour stays on tour. It’s “just” sex or whatever.
But, maybe women are the same? None of my female friends have ever admitted to cheating but maybe they are just being discreet?
Either way, I think it’s godawful!!!

I currently know three married women in their late fifties early sixties who have had long term or multiple affairs, very responsible pillars of their communities. They have their reasons and say they dont want to upset family apple carts and they enjoy their stability. As a nurse over many years Ive known dozens of women cheat and never get caught ..I generally think women rarely get found out as much as men do , and I've certainly seen married women at conferences and training courses have one night stands.

I don't think every man or woman does cheat, or would cheat, like a pp said, too many variables.

I think there are indicators as to oppotunity and ability that lesson or increse the probability.

Nothing is certain given the right conditions and envoiroment.
It's an impossible question.

Truthfully, I know very few men who do cheat. Of those who would, I'd pretty much say are blatantly obvious that they'd cheat, and give off serious red flags aside from that... I don't know any self respecting women who would give them the time of day.

It is as easy as swiping on an app. There are tons of married men on Tinder etc. Some of them are very open about it, others you can tell after chatting. One I didn't work out till we'd met. Even the less attractive ones* will probably get a date if they swipe right a lot and hide that they're married.

• I say that... surely no one swipes right on the really bad photos? I mean, there are worse options than being single, and many of them are trying their luck on OLD...

Not so.

Of course not all men cheat.
Having said that, my DH was an elite sportsman for about 15 years. We had lots of ‘ couple friends’ during that time in various sports teams. I found out some times along the way from DH and some years later that many of the men were cheating. Girls sending nude pics etc on Snapchat/Instagram and the men meeting up with them subsequently. It was very obvious they were not single and I’ve seen them at events with their spouse for example, whilst the other girl is there aswell. Some high profile guys I know who represent their country are still cheating to this day! I don’t know if their wives know.. I suspect yes to be honest. X

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