"All men cheat, you just never find out about it"

And they are cheating with who? The nice mums who make the sandwiches for the footie teams, and seem happily married, perhaps?
No the 24 year old women from work.

And they are cheating with who? The nice mums who make the sandwiches for the footie teams, and seem happily married, perhaps?

Man here… absolutely not. Why ruin something that is special for something that is pointless.

Is he single?

because he’s just basically said - me and my make friends have no qualms about cheating as we know you won’t do anything about it and everyone will pretend it isn’t happening.

No it isn't just men.

What I found shocking as I grew up and was later into adult life is the amount of cheating in general.
Men AND women.
I don't know if it is more prolific in my field of work but it happens a lot more than I ever thought it would.

Nah don’t think all men do.

I think the definition matters, though. Do we count university students aged 18 whose commitment is that they've been going out for two months?

Statistically it's half.

Talk about generalising. OP your friend can’t speak for all men. Women are just as a capable of cheating.
My DH works a similar shift pattern to your dp, without trust it just wouldn’t work. I trust him 100%.

It is nonsense.

What does happen, is that you get small social circles where all the men in that circle cheat, and they assume it’s more widespread than it is. Like when I worked in the city, the men in finance and also sales all seemed to think cheating normal and joked about it a lot (“Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score” 🤢🙄) but the men I knew in a law firm all thought cheating was weak and for losers. Etc.

Well of course everyone has the "innate ability to cheat". That's just obvious. If you're capable of a relationship and not in a coma or something, it's a theoretical possibility that you could cheat.

It certainly doesn't mean everyone does.

I'm as sure as I can be that my husband has never cheated on me.

I do think, though, that men are generally more likely to cheat even while happy in their relationship. I don't think that happens so much with women.

The men who say “all men cheat” are cheaters and believing that is how they rationalise their behaviour.

I guess it depends how you define cheating?

If all men cheat they must cheat with someone so therefore all women cheat too, by that rationale. Otherwise who are they cheating with? There was a thread on here recently where the OP kissed her work colleague, the general advice was to keep quiet about it.

I used to think that statement was a load of nonsense but now I am older I would say about 2/3 of the men I know have either physically cheated or cheated by messaging other women once they got to mid/late 40’s. This is just the men who have got caught.
These are the same nice guys who help run the footie club on a Saturday and who are lovely and kind to their wives and seem genuinely happily married.

And some women might be shagging loads of men.

This with bells on. He's a dick.

@TomPinch full affairs may not be rife but I'd consider it cheating if my parter was having suggestive sexual conversations with someone else, touching them on the leg etc while chetting in the pub etc too.

Either: all men and women cheat equally; or, if some men cheat a lot, then more women than men cheat? Or have I got my sums wrong? (And I accept that use of sex workers may unbalance the numbers).

My experience of such events is: men drinking too much, talking shite, getting up to nothing, but regardless of that the gossip goes round.

Right now there is gossip at my place of work about two colleagues having an affair. Both of them deny it, it's all based on perception, and I believe them. But it's this sort of crap that gets people thinking that affairs are rife.

Me and my oh have a group of friends(his friends and their wives/girlfriends) 2 of them have cheated mutiple times on their girlfriends and they have never found out. Don't think either of them cheat anymore now they are in their late 30s. Any man or woman is capable of cheating though, but not all do. Unfair of him to plant that fear in your head though.

Not true. I trusted my ex partner 100% with not cheating, it’s just not in his nature, he’s very loyal and doesn’t drink to excess either so wouldn’t be in that kind of situation. I guess many men cheat, quite a lot of women do too, but not ALL. Blanket statements are stupid

Nope. They may all have the desire, but they certainly don't have the ability. Most of them are lucky to have attracted the woman they're with, never mind another one to cheat with. Particularly the deluded charmers like your friend.

I'd tend to agree with him through my own experience witnessing years of lads on rugby tours, men on work nights away , men on general work nights out even.

I'm reassured by the fact that DH took a run up and his friend pointing it out to notice I was flirting. I practically dislocated my neck flicking my hair around but he was oblivious. Bless him.