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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think boys shouldn't be in women's toilets

136 replies

verazayac · 11/10/2022 12:15

...even if he's with his gay.

Just been to the shopping centre with toddler DD, she told me she needs the toilet so I took her, the women’s toilets are in a different place to the men's, I saw 2 girls with a teenage boy, I would guess between 16-18, they told him to go in with them as they didn't know where the men’s toilets were and told him he's gay and with friends anyway so he can't be accused of being a creep. I was a bit Hmm, I hurried DD and whilst we were washing our hands a few women did come in and look at him but didn't say anything.

Aibu to think he shouldn't have gone in the women's toilets even if he's gay and with friends?

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 11/10/2022 12:42

Women's toilets are for girls and women - there isn't a 'blokes who are gay can use them too' clause.

Men have their own toilets. We have the right not to be faced with men - HOWEVER "safe" their female mates think they are - in our toilets.

Mothers taking their primary age male children (insert also: or women currently in charge of a primary age male child) into the women's with them is an entirely separate issue.

Live4weekend · 11/10/2022 12:40

They are youngsters. They probably have gender neutral toilets in school so think it's the norm.

Is it making things a lot less safe for women and girls- yes.

But this is what happens when boundaries are ignored.

Gotskeaswr · 11/10/2022 12:38

The kid is gay? Then no, he should go to the mens. In a gay bar/club/ venue it wouldn’t matter but not in a shopping centre. And I’m gay myself.

TwoWrightFeet · 11/10/2022 12:37

Do you seriously think anyone on MN is going to disagree with you?

Soubriquet · 11/10/2022 12:37

No. At 16 he should be outside waiting. No one cares if he’s gay or not.

Older than 12 I think can stay outside

NightmareSlashDelightful · 11/10/2022 12:36

This is a bit confusing.

What do you mean, 'he's with his gay'? Who is the 'he' who was with the gay teenager?

And how old were the girls? If he was minding/looking after a couple of little kids I wouldn't bat an eyelid, to be honest. Might be a bit different if they were all teenagers.

If they were all teens, I think I'd be more annoyed at the girls, really. By the sounds of it (and I'm afraid your OP is a bit confusing so apologies if I've read this wrong) they were the ones who blithely issued an open invitation to the women's loos. He might not even have wanted to go in himself; he may have felt some peer pressure to go in because he was with two people who told him to go in.

Thegreenballoon · 11/10/2022 12:27

Oh quit with the goady title, that’s not “boys” that’s “men” and in that particular instance completely inappropriate. I take my 9 year old disabled son into the ladies because there’s absolutely no way he’s going into the mens alone, but fairly soon and certainly well before he’s 16 if he still needs help we’ll have to start using disabled cubicles. But banning all boys is ridiculous as you’ll discover if you ever have a toddler son!

Thefailinghousewife · 11/10/2022 12:24

Depending on the location I still bring my son in the loos with me - he’s 10. In all honesty it would depend on their attitude for me, if he was genuinely concerned about using the blokes loos as he was not very confident without his friends then it wouldn’t bother me at all. If they were cocky teens and being confrontational then I’d be a lot less happy about it!

Patienceisntvirtuous · 11/10/2022 12:23

Motnight · 11/10/2022 12:20

With his gay?!

This. 'I'm with my gay' Your gay what?!

Sorry OP, I think I agree with you but this has just made me laugh. Grin

Motnight · 11/10/2022 12:20

With his gay?!

Plumbear2 · 11/10/2022 12:20

No he shouldn't have been there. My son's used to come in with me but that stopped once they where around 7.

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