To think boys shouldn't be in women's toilets

I think a 9 year old with his mom is very different to a 16-18 year old with his friends

No, he should not have been in the female toilet. It's not OUR problem if he's afraid to use the gents.

He's 9 and with his mum, hardly the same thing.

I have "a gay"! Doesn't everyone have a gay? 😂

Purplefoxes

Have you been holidaying in Africa?😂

I don't love it, but probably do think that having two female friends to 'vouch' for him did offer some fairly significant mitigation.

Yet another male invading a female space. No male over 8 years old should be in a female only toilet with or without anyone else. Disabled boys over 8 should be in disabled toilet with a carer if need be.

There was a 10 year old in the changing room at dds swimming. He was commenting on his sister’s body (her breasts) which I found creepy and uncomfortable. The mother was there laughing along but the little girl wasn’t laughing. I took dd to a cubicle after that.

And this is how women’s boundaries get eroded all the time.

If he needed to pee the point is he needs to pee in the bathroom allocated for men.

I don’t care what they do in France, this is the U.K. and the fact is that statistically speaking assaults and sexual offences (incl flashing, video cameras in loos etc) occur in greater numbers in mixed sex bathrooms/ changing facilities.
Loos are separated by sex in order to allow women and girls dignity, privacy and safety. So if there’s a rule then that needs to be adhered to rather than saying ‘well in this case it’s fine…’
Stop shaming women who care about maintaining single sex spaces. It doesn’t make you ‘cooler’. It just makes you shitter at having the back of other women, including ones more vulnerable than you are.

What is it with Mumsnet and toilets?

That's ridiculous. Silly woman, a 7 year old boy is a small child and there's no issue with him being in female toilets with his mum. I have no problem with primary aged boys being in the ladies. I'm very GC and believe I'm single sex spaces and all that stuff but young boys are vulnerable as well. My son is 7 and when he's older depending where we are I'd either tell him to use the men's and wait outside for him or I would tell him to use the disabled. Cue people telling me how awful I am for telling him to do that but my son's safety is my priority.

I remember a similar question coming up about boys in women's changing rooms at swimming. And by boys, I mean 8/9yo. It was a resounding 'he should be in the men's changing room' on the basis that although he wasn't pubescent, some girls of the same age will be, and consequently valued their privacy. I remember at the time thinking 'my son is this age. Would I be happy with him going into a men's changing room alone?' No I wouldn't. But it really made me think about how men's/ boys' rights usually tend to trump women's. Why should a pubescent girl be forced to share a changing room with a boy? But what is the answer?

But 16-18yo?! Come on. What possible reason could there be? No, not ok. Of course teenagers prank and do silly things, but in this situation they needed educating. Their discomfort/ needs do not trump the discomfort/ needs of girls and women.

Can you goady bunch stick to your own forum for once.

He was in the womens toilets. There was no reason for him to be in there. We're not in France and we're entitled to single sex space.

MY dS is 8 and it depends on the situation. Sometimes I let him use the gents and other times he comes in with me.

That seems reasonable to me. I remember taking my eldest into the women's toilets with me when he was 7. While he was drying his hands, a woman walked in with her similarly aged daughter, clocked DS, and walked straight back out. I'm not quite sure what her issue was! But teenagers? - abso-bloody-lutely not.

I think once they are secondary school age, they shouldn’t be allowed in the girls toilets

Was he doing anything dodgy or just going for a pee? To think in france women and men use the same loos all the time the shock and horror of some on here . Why would you hurry out unless he was being dodgy?

MY dS is 8 and it depends on the situation. Sometimes I let him use the gents and other times he comes in with me.

He still looks like a wee boy so get away with it easier but i don't feel he is ready to be on his own yet in some places.

Whereas with DD I have happily let her use ladies on her own for longer. And it's a long time since her dad took her to the toilet when out. Younger than DS is now.

I think you're being rather generous dimensionally there...

There may be a specific reason eg he's been harassed by other teens in that mall, his female friends are being very protective, but no he shouldn't be there.

So women don't deserve to have male free spaces because men are mean to other males?

Sorry but women are not support humans.

Ask this question on Twitter, and you will ignite a skipfire that burns to midnight and beyond.

But in the world of reasonable humans, no, grown-ass people of the male sex ought not to be in women's toilets unless they are a) a doctor or nurse giving first aid, b) a father with a v sick daughter or c) a plumber dealing with an emergency, like water flying out of a tap. None of those scenarios would bother me, but I don't think 'being gay' is convincing grounds. YANBU.

There is a gay boy in Year 11 who always uses the girls' toilets at a local secondary school near me. Because he's "safe". (Actually he is a horrendous bully, if I was at the school I'd rather use the boys' then be anywhere near him).

What do they say, "the safe ones stay out, so the unsafe stand out".

He shouldn't have been there but my DS is 9 and very tall. I feel like someone is going to say something soon enough. I certainly don't feel comfortable sending him on his own into the men's. It's a relief when we are with his dad. Like a previous pp I will probably be hovering outside feeling very uneasy. They are still vulnerable.

YANBU. A male child going into the women's toilets with his mum is fine. A teenager old enough to be out and about with his mates is old enough to find the men's toilet in a shopping centre and go by himself. Being straight or gay makes no difference whatsoever; he shouldn't have been in the women's toilets.

There may be a specific reason eg he's been harassed by other teens in that mall, his female friends are being very protective, but no he shouldn't be there.

There is though genuine reasons sometimes- dp had to take dsd into the ladies this week, adult with severe ld's, because there was no disabled toilet and no sanitary bin in the gents, I stood outside to warn any women, there weren't any though. In this case two gender neutral toilets, one with disability access would be better, than a gents with tiny cubicle and urinal, and a single larger cubicle in the womens.