To ask if school mum cliques upset you, or how do you deal with cliques?

Just to add. Cliques exist.
Unpleasant people exist.
Some women have forgotten that they are adults and behave like bitchy little teenagers.

I pay no attention to it at all. I usually have a brief chat with parents of my kids friends and then catch up with emails or facebook whilst im waiting.

The difference between friendship groups and cliques is subtle. Both my DC have finished primary school now and went to two different schools so I have encountered many different parents. My dds class was an absolute horror show in terms of parents. They weren't just groups of friends, they were utterly vile and exclusionary. A dreadful bunch. I used to feel like shit after the school run. I cannot tell you how brilliant it is now my DD is in secondary school and I don't have to see them

Whoops, quote fail!

It’s pretty obvious what the issue is.
The OP is feeling unsure of herself. She is watching friendship groups form and possibly feels excluded.
No need to be so unpleasant.

I take my children to school, wave them off, go home/to work. I couldn’t tell you who’s friends with who etc and my eldest is 25 and my youngest is 10. I have never understood the anxiety around dropping your kids off at school.*

Similar to this for me. I think sometimes there are parents who live nearby / know each other from siblings or nursery / find themselves in the queue near one another each day, and then they get to chatting. That isn’t a clique. Cliques exist obviously, unpleasant ones, but sometimes people can hunt in the shadows a bit.

I take my children to school, wave them off, go home/to work. I literally do not care!!

It depends, are you a SAHP? Do you want to make friends or not? Are you hoping to arrange play dates for your children?

You can say hello to people. I ask my children who their friends are and arrange play dates for them - this is mostly when I see other mums. I’m only there for the children - nothing else.
I also work so never have time - but have made friends with some parents mainly through play dates and coffee mornings if I can attend them.

If there are cliques ( assuming they aren’t welcoming) I ignore. It’s not high school. There will be normal people - majority of the parents are just regular people. Most people have social circles outside of school - if you do you barely feel the need to get too involved in school gate cliques.

I just chatted to whoever I stood next to.
I know that some of the SAHMs were in and out of each other’s houses from 9am-3pm and had nights out together but I wasn’t put out.
I was working full time at the time and had my own (long term) friends and colleagues to meet up with socially every now and then. Look for friendships outside of the school gates.

I'm sorry you're being bloody ridiculous
Cliques.
Really?
Or just a few mum's having a chat before going about their daily routine.
What exactly is the issue, you take your child to school, drop them off, wave to, smile at other mums, go home.

I don't see cliques, I see groups of friends. Of I see one of my friends I'll talk to them, if I don't I just attend in the queue and wait to drop off/collect my child, same as I would in any other queue anywhere else!

I had an incident where I would talk to several mums regularly, we were then away for a few weeks and once back for some reason they would not talk to me. As much as I wish it didn’t it really upset me at first, but then I honestly thought who would want to be friends with adults who behave like that.

anyway, now I really don’t go out of my way to talk to anyone and I’m perfectly ok with that. I hate small talk anyway lol.

I’ve always just chatted to people and they’ve chatted back. I’ve never encountered cliques, just people being friendly to each other. Some people I get on with and others we get on because of our children IYSWIM. I don’t tend to think much of it.

Cliques or just...friends?
I stand and wait for my kids with the same 3 or 4 mums every day. We socialise outside of the playground too but I really love our daily chats on the school run. I certainly don't see us as a clique and we chat to other parents too.
There's loads of "groups" of parents on the playground. Some are neighbours so walk up to school together and stand chatting. Some were already friends before their kids started the school.
I think this might be a you problem.

Why would you be upset with friendship groups or ignore them? People are allowed to be friends . Is it just at school you feel this way or do you react the same if you go into a pub or restaurant and see a group of friends?

I smile if I catch some ones eye and get about my business. If I’m waiting I go over and say hi if I know they parent kids in mines class. What’s the big deal?

I am polite and friendly and warm to every single person who crosses my path.

My Dcs have been at the same school for 8 years and I have not made a single mum friend. I have no idea why. It might be that my older DS has a range of disabilities and struggles massively with social interaction and so we as a family are kept at arms length. But I ignore the cliques (which at times have been so bad with bitchiness and backstabbing that literally the mums have been called into the HT's office to be told to behave. I am not even joking. )

I am polite. I smile. i enquire about how children are going along. I congratulate their achievements.

I then go home and forget about them.

I’ve made friends on the school run (some go to the same childminder as my son) and yes we stand and chat because the people are familiar. We’d never exclude someone else coming to join. Just go and chat to people if you want to make friends. Or suggest starting a WhatsApp group.

What makes them a clique and not just friends? Have you tried to join in and they've been unwelcoming?

See I hate the idea of cliques because actually it’s just mums who can do small talk. Me and the same parents chat daily Because we make an effort. Chat and act confident is my advice- very few people are actually catty and dismissive

Erm, just get on with it?

I chatted to and made friends with some of the schools mums. If you don't want to chat then that is OK too.

I don't see it as something that I need to deal with. It's a non issue for me. Do you feel left out / want to make friends? In that case maybe just say hi?

Depends what outcome you want I guess. If you want to make friends too I would say hi and see where it goes. Make effort to get to know the mums you think you might have most in common with.

If it's bothering you that people are making friends, but you don't want to make friends, then best to ignore it and carry on with your day.

Some mums like to make friends with those at the school gate, others are not as keen, both is ok I think.

Yanbu to ask but it's not really an AIBU question.

I know one set of parents as their son went to the same nursery as my daughter. I do notice other mums chatting but I really don't care. I'm there to drop her off and pick her up. I would ignore it.