To expect the school to do more about racism?

I agree the school is just doing token BLM and Rosa Parks day. Racism is much more ingrained/ wider than that. Some proper lessons about what racism is would help. I’m in rural midlands with a primarily white population, sometimes even friends make racist comments toward me and they don’t see why it is racist and I had to explain to them.

Equally, I think it will be essential to teach your kids about where your ancestors are from (from your first sentence it sounds like you’re quite disconnected to your heritage? ‘Not even been there for holidays’). I guess it was easier for me because I am first generation migrant so I’m proud of my culture and my difference. And I’m trying very hard to teach my Asian/ British kids to appreciate their own culture and to be proud of it. I think having this pride and a sense of belonging to your ‘other’ culture makes it easier to cope with all the racist comments when you’re growing up.

Sounds like the school won’t do anything until your son reports it, it might be worth discussing with him that these behaviours are not ok and that by reporting them, it will highlight that there’s a problem. It’s important to recognise that the kids just pick up these racist views/ casual racist comments from their parents and they’ll never change until someone points it out to them that it’s not ok.

I suppose from the schools POV you asked them to address it generally/globally and not do anything that would single your son out. They therefore think that the things they are doing (general education around racism via the blm day etc) are what you asked for.

I think you're right about the endemic racism in the town but again the school can only do so much - they can tell the kids things are wrong but can't exactly tell them "and all your parents are racists!"

I really sympathise with your son and the examples you've given sound like absolutely text book racism but unfortunately if he doesn't want to tell them about specific incidents or pupils then they are a bit limited in what they can do to address the issue "generally".

It's good that your sons form tutor is on board. Presumably he would be the one delivering any racism based pse lessons- could you make any suggestions directly to him?
Could you ask for a meeting with the diversity lead (if they will release their name!) and form tutor to discuss further?

Yes, schools should already have in place policies on how they deal with incidents of racism as a pp has said. Unfortunately these incidents will occur, and the school should be taking it seriously.

@Karamna

its really not that difficult.
I would be very surprised if the school did not have policy statements relating to bullying and racism.
They could make a good start by applying them.
My son’s school had a zero tolerance approach.
For example, my son waa subject to some racist ‘banter’ on a Thursday after school, technically off site but close enough for a teacher to hear.
On Friday at 9.30 the year teacher phoned me to say that the head had already spoken to my son, she would be speaking to witnesses and the boy concerned.
At 2 oclock they phoned back to say the boy has been excluded.

Clear decisive action. My son felt the school was protecting him. Clear message that ‘banter’ is racist and that racist bullies will be punished.

For those that think that the school should be doing "more" - it might be helpful if you could give OP specific examples of best practice that you have observed. Or bullet points of particular ideas or strategies that the school could adopt. Then OP could take these suggestions to the school and ask if they are already doing these/if not would it be possible to implement them.

But that's the difference - that incident was reported. A teacher will then take statements, interview witnesses, investigate, and apply consequences to the offender. The incidents with OP's son are not being reported, so the school can't do any of these things.

I understand it may be difficult to report things, but that is what needs to happen here.

It really needs to be "Jimmy said x to John in maths on Monday" for the school to action ( like a crime report!) "The entire town is racist" may be true, but what specific actions is a school teacher meant to take at 9 am the next day to solve that?

It sounds like lip service with their BLM and Rosa Parks days to be honest. Absolutely not good enough.

Of course he doesn’t want to report it himself! People being bullied and racially abused never do! School are being completely obtuse!

“Banter” is bullying reframed and this kind of talk will get them into massive hot water in the wider world. You’re totally right that these kids need re educating.

You should be able to access their anti racism policy online. That would be my first port of call, and ensure that they are following it, and if not, raise it with SLT, then governors, and then the local authority.

And I’m sorry you’re going through this. I still can’t/don’t want to believe that it goes on even now. X

He needs to report any specific incidents that occur during school time so they can be followed up with particular consequences for those specific students.

However you described a comment that was made by a boy from another school at your home. Incidents at other school sites should be reported to the other school. Incidents that occur in a home are the responsibility of parents to manage.

Aside from this I think it would help if you had specific suggestions of what else you would like them to do. They have particular days/programs they follow.

The main responsibility of the school is academic education. Children get their values from home. It's unrealistic to expect the school to be able to change that completely.

There are some things they can do, eg ensuring that they study texts written by people of colour, critical approaches to certain episodes of history etc. They may already be doing this. But I think if you think they are not doing enough you need to provide concrete requests of what else you would like them to do. They can definitely apply consequences for any specific racist comments to your son during school time so start there. Expecting them to eradicate ingrained racist attitudes in the whole town is a bit much.

@TheStoop are you actually mad? face palms

I’m shocked at the schools response.

My son is in school in Scotland and was subjected to a racist remark which was reported by a witness to his class teacher. She took it to the Head Teacher who filled out the local authority’s “racist incident” paperwork. She also arranged a meeting with the pupils parents and called me to apologise, explained it was being taken very seriously and that the pupil would be educated about why her remarks were completely unacceptable.

When I was at school there was an oft repeated phrase which was “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me”.

One I picked up in adulthood is “sometimes you only have to listen to people to see just how ignorant they are”.

They might help if they’re borne in mind.

Children should not be allowed to get away with racism. Very often they do it out of ignorance but there is a point to be made. I never feel that ‘black lives matter’ days help as they often tend to highlight the problem in the wrong way by making out BAME people are victims, which they are not. Racism exists in all cultures and between all cultures and we have to learn to accept each other. I thank God I have many friends from a wide cultural background. As Dr Luther King said we accept people as people and not because of what they look like

I hear you. I'm Welsh, but have threatened a few colleagues over the years with HR because of their constant "witty banter" about Wales and the Welsh - usually derogatory. (I'm in England).
They don't see it as racism because my skin is white, but it absolutely is (I'm thinking about the boys who say the curry jokes aren't racist).
I just get fed up with it too.

Yanbu, the school isn't doing enough but you are also fighting a small town mentality here where these kids are being raised that way. I'm an expat in London and we chose the area for diversity being a major factor. I can't imagine any of the things your DC have experienced happening at my dc school. In fact, our religious festivals are celebrated more at our school than in my own home countries schools! I think you are just stuck with it unfortunately.

Idiots like the posters who say you just need to laugh at this give me the rage. I sincerely hope you don't have children and that mine never come into contact with yours . The school are just paying lip service op. Apply the pressure, work on your kids confidence if all else fails I would look at moving.

Children should just "laugh along" while receiving racist remarks??? Are you actually serious??

But in Op,s case the racism isn't being addressed ,I mean i agree Homophobia is abhorrent and shouldn't be ignored either ,but in this case her son is bring racially abused and the school appear to be doing nothing.

YANBU OP

A few assemblies and a bit of tutor time on Rosa Parks and BLM is not 'tackling racism' it's paying lip service.

If your son is still getting these racist remarks then these assemblies haven't helped have they?

Yes promoting anti racism should be a major push in a school, not just tokenistic occasional days.

You can't 100% stop all incidents (children are heavily influenced by what they hear at home) but the school should be making it clear to their pupils that racist comments are completely unacceptable (including as a "joke" - most are probably made as a "joke".)

I think you need to be more direct. Email to chair of governors or appointment with a senior member of staff.

Yes it may happen outside school, but being at the school is how these kids know each other, and schools are responsible for tackling racist and other abuse.

Some years back, one of my DC was verbally threatened by a family member of one of her peers - in front of me! I immediately called school and spoke to the deputy head who said she couldn't deal with it as it happened outside school. So I called the police and they advised that the school should deal with it, with their support if needed. When the head was informed, he banned the family members (others were also unpleasant) from the premises. And dd was left alone (although the peer in question did try to bully her over social media when they later went to separate secondary schools.)

In my experience of schools they are very tight in addressing racism, homophobia meanwhile is totally a free for all and slt don't give a hoot about reported cases.

No they are clearly not doing enough, calling him those names is unacceptable and will not be overlooked in the workplace

The school are absolutely not doing enough. How would learning about black history month and Rosa parks stop them calling your son a towel head and saying he smells like curry? It's completely unacceptable

Black Lives Matter has been a wonderful opportunity to spout slogans coming from a us racism context that is completely different to the uk context

so people can happily spout off slogans but don’t have to actually do anything to examine and address their own racism or the racism in uk culture

of course the school should be doing something to address the ACTUAL racism happening in the school instead of parroting US slogans.

No, I don't think the school are doing enough. But also I think that every single episode needs to be reported so that they can build a picture of what is actually going on
Micro aggressions, "throw away comments" all add up and need to be stopped

And i don't think school are doing enough, discussing Rosa Parks and having a Black lives matters day means nothing I'f they are ignoring racist incidences it's just paying lip service