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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pregnant and I can’t afford to be

36 replies

Autumnsea · 04/10/2022 14:41

Been trying for a 3rd child for a while and it’s finally happened!

But with the cost of living crisis it all feels so unaffordable now. We have a household income of 52K. But our mortgage has just gone up from £750 a month to over £900.

I’m really scared about the way the economy is going, the predicted recession and I assume job losses that will come with it.

I can’t do it. Is that really unfair of me?

We have saved 15K to get us through Mat Leave but that just doesn’t feel like a big enough buffer anymore.

OP posts:
Thegreenballoon · 04/10/2022 14:55

It’s quite normal and common to have a “wtf have I done” reaction to even a planned and wanted pregnancy. Do you think you might just be having a bit of a panic? If this was a wanted and tried for baby a few weeks ago and all that’s happened is an increase in your mortgage payment then it sounds more like a ”wtf” moment of panic worrying about vague future possibilities like job losses than a decision you don’t actually want the baby anymore.

luxxlisbon · 04/10/2022 14:54

Autumnsea · 04/10/2022 14:52

I think I’m suddenly panicking about it. So we’ve been trying for DC3 for just a bit over 3 years and I’ve become obsessed with it. And now it’s happened I’m looking out at the bigger picture and thinking how can we bring another baby into this?! Our combined take home pay is £3,500 ish a month and it doesn’t seem a lot to have to support 5 people on. I’ve not spoken to DH yet because he’ll think I’ve gone mad.

It’s not really about your income as much as your outgoings though.
How long did it take to save £15k?
What does your essential bills to income ratio look like?

Buckland123 · 04/10/2022 14:54

I had a baby in 2007 & another one in 2008 we couldn’t really afford and the massive credit crunch/ recession came along. Babies themselves aren’t expensive - I had to go back to work much sooner than expected though as couldn’t afford mat leave. But they barely cost anything til they’re school age (as long as you can afford childcare if needed) - hopefully by then it won’t be as bad. I can imagine you’re very anxious though - I was when it happened to me, I cried in fact as I didn’t know how we could pay for it all.

How old are your others? Is your house big enough, big enough car etc? going from 2 to 3 definitely needs more space.

Heyahun · 04/10/2022 14:52

How is the mortgage gone up so much?? Did you move to a new house or has the interest actually gone up by 20% ??

Original poster
Autumnsea · 04/10/2022 14:52

I think I’m suddenly panicking about it. So we’ve been trying for DC3 for just a bit over 3 years and I’ve become obsessed with it. And now it’s happened I’m looking out at the bigger picture and thinking how can we bring another baby into this?! Our combined take home pay is £3,500 ish a month and it doesn’t seem a lot to have to support 5 people on. I’ve not spoken to DH yet because he’ll think I’ve gone mad.

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 04/10/2022 14:51

Only you know your situation, presumably since you have been actively trying you must have felt fine about finances before? And it you can save £15k with your current childcare expenses and bills it sounds like you have a decent buffet at the end of the month.
No one can really tell you if you can afford it or not.

Hibernationsetting · 04/10/2022 14:50

Only you know whether it will work or not. Will it hugely impact your existing children- as in, will they lose out on significantly more than they do now? How long do you think that will last for? material is only material… but I’m talking more about house at risk and parents stressed out and arguing rather than less presents and no karate lessons.

RandomMusings7 · 04/10/2022 14:48

People make do on much less.

Presumably you knew the cost of living crisis was under way while trying to conceive. If it wasn't a deterrent then (presumably only a few weeks ago) how can it suddenly be a reason for aborting?

I'm all pro choice, but this doesn't make any sense...

Original poster
Autumnsea · 04/10/2022 14:44

I will only be paid SMP while I’m on Mat leave. So not really a fortune. It will all be swallowed topping up my income.

OP posts:
Hymnulop · 04/10/2022 14:43

YABU absolutely. And goady actually. 15k is a fortune.

Burnt0utMum · 04/10/2022 14:43

Is there anything else you can cut back on? Do you still have things from your other children so you don't have to buy lots of new things for the new baby?