Pregnant and I can’t afford to be

This thread was bumped from 2022.

I knew a woman who's mortgage went up but £400 a month

Take a look at universal credit with 3 kids.

Universal Credit is designed to bring you up to the minimum income amount for your situation. You can take a look to see if you meet it - if you don't, make a claim.

The mortgage puts a bit of a spanner on the works, as does having more than 2 kids, as UC doesn't take mortgage costs into account nor more than 2 children. You can check where you stand on the minimum income you need for your situation by pretending your mortgage is a rental cost (Housing Association rent specifically) on the online calculator, and pretending all kids were born before 2027, but you wouldn't be able to claim those amounts. Pretending for the calculator is more just so you could see how much less than minimum income needed as stated by government you have with a third kid. But you'd still might be able to claim something even without housing costs & 3rd kid included so have a look. Or call 08001448444 if you want someone to do it for you.

£15k? What a pittance. My heart bleeds. 🙄

Hope it all goes well

Do you think sharing these worries with your husband would help? You could consider a practical plan, draw up all of your outgoings and sit together to go through places to tighten up. Yes it'll be tougher but your in a good position with savings going in to this. Plus you have another 8/9 months pre maternity leave to add to those savings.

Ultimately it's your choice but given the absolute wild ride my hormones set me on during early pregnancy I'd try to set things down as logically as I could before making a life changing decision either way. This baby is obviously very much wanted after 3 years of TTC so sharing this with your husband would be helpful.

As you've been trying for such a long time it seems like this baby is very wanted which is the main thing. Now it's a reality you're just having a wobble. You've got enough money to be able to cope but you may just have to cut back on more than you were expecting but you'll find a way to manage. Don't worry about losing jobs as you can't predict that, and if it happens, you will find a way through. Good luck and congrats

There's probably a million and one things you can do to cut back, look at your phone bills, TV, where are you shopping? Stop buying what you don't need. If you've saved 15k then I am willing to bet you as a family spend more than you need to on stuff you don't need to.

Aborting a pregnancy you struggled 3 years to achieve and was obsessed about in a moment of panic over what amounts to normal money worries could very well leave her devastated and desperate to try again ASAP.

She knows she has choices. It's much more nuanced than that. Being pro choice doesn't mean advising abortion as a universal magical fix regardless of the particulars...

I think you are over thinking it, the baby is very much wanted and will be very much loved by all.
Materntiy leave might have to be shorter, but that’s okay. We couldn’t afford much mat leave after our 2nd so I only took 5 months off and then one month annual leave.
Id potentially try and keep your savings to cover the shortfall between nursey and your wage.
Its all doom and gloom in the news so I’d see this as a light at the end of the tunnel, something happy to focus on rather than the rubbish of cost of living malarkey.
yes nursery is expensive, it’s not forever and we all just make do!

You don’t have to go through with this pregnancy. No woman should feel they have to

Does he knows you’re pregnant?

So if you’re only just pregnant it’s going to be almost 2 years before the baby is in nursery. 9 months of pregnancy and then mat leave. It’ll be a long time before you need to look at nursery costs. We could be in a completely different place in terms of the economy by then.

I don't see how you both would get over that. I suspect it may end your marriage.
Are you sure you can't stretch your finances? Run the figures again.

Oof, this is like the ultimate trigger for anyone TTC.

I would echo others and say: if you could save 15k you'll be fine and it's probably just the shock of something you've waited so long for.

If you’ve managed to save £15k with four mouths to feed you obviously bring in more than you need to spend. So you can afford to feed 5 mouths. How much does a baby cost anyway? I assume you still have clothes, cot, toys, etc from your other children. If you’re planning to breastfeed it costs almost nothing to feed a baby. So the £15k you saved will cover your lost wages to give you the same income as before where you were able to save £15k.

Sounds like you are worrying over nothing.

You need to sit down and crunch the numbers.

What will it be on maternity leave?

What will it look like with nursery fees?

So what would you do?

Have an abortion?

What does your DH think?

@Autumnsea I would just sit and wait on the decision for a while so you don't do something you regret. People manage on a lot less.

Depends on your outgoings really

I survived mat leave with zero savings and just SMP, partner paid in a little extra to cover downfall for me and it worked out

(Household income of 53k prior, so went down to 30k + SMP when on mat leave)

Why are you asking random strangers for help on this very important decision? I am going to say YABU because this cost of living thing has been going on for months so you should have reconsidered your decision to TTC then. I do think your savings is enough though. Lots more than many have.

I think it's perfectly natural that after trying to conceive for such a long time you're now feeling wobbly, and you're right when you look at things initially it does seem like the world is not a good place to bring a child atm. What I would say is please do share these feelings with your partner and then break it down sensibly. How much will an extra person actually cost? Food bills a little more, but things such as heating and electric aren't likely to be too badly affected. Can you use second hand rather than brand new foe any baby items? Make sure you're claiming everything you're entitled too and look at ways you can save pennies as they really will add up to the pounds.