I’m a long time lurker and this is my first time posting so please be kind 🤨
I like to sit down in the morning with a coffee and have a read through Mumsnet, mainly because it is fascinating, like a parallel universe to real life, BUT…I do find myself horrified, sad, unnerved, shocked, angry etc… at the hatred that this forum creates.
Pretty much anytime someone makes a post asking a question, the majority of comments are negative, some to the point of abusive.
The comments appear to conclude in general (in the posts I’ve read) that:
• If you’re disabled then you’re lazy
• If you have mental health issues you’re likely overreacting, you need serious therapy or your children are suffering because of your MH
• If your OH does one thing wrong then they are lazy feckless idiots
• If your OH shouted at you one time then they are abusive and you should leave
• If your children don’t help around the house they are entitled
• Unless your children can’t dress and feed themselves and take themselves off to school independently by the age of 5 you are a dreadful parent
• If you’re not up, washed and dressed by 7am then you are lazy and not a productive member of society
• If you have anxiety you should just grow some balls
• If you think you might be ill, seriously or not, you need to suck it up and get on with life and stop being ridiculous!
I could go on!
One thing that massively stands out are the huge amount of people who make comments on the basis of the OP’s posts that they have clearly not read correctly. The amount of replies by the OP saying ‘didn’t you read my OP, I never said that’ (or words to that effect) are astounding, not to mention the amount of people that read what they want to read in a post and creates issues that aren’t even there. If someone put ‘my DS accidentally hit me during a tantrum’ some will create the narrative that the DS has anger issues and needs professional help. It’s like some sort of weird version of dyslexia where you read a post and your brain turns it in to something completely different (usually negative) and you run with it and feel the need to chip in.
And let’s not even start of the term ‘drip feed’. Perhaps there should be a stipulation on MN that you must write down all relevant information on your first post or you WILL be accused of drip feeding when you remember said relevant information and post it 🙄
I just don’t understand why, if people are asking a genuine question and would like some helpful advice, many people feel the need to be so negative and abusive. Maybe just don’t comment on the post if you’ve nothing helpful to say. Saying something negative and unhelpful to someone who really just wants a bit of advice can be so upsetting and, I imagine, the OP’s feel worse than they did before they posted.
I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be people out there who get up in the morning, log in to Mumsnet and troll away all day like it’s a sport.
I can guarantee most of the negative comments made would not be said in a face to face conversation.
It makes me sad that there are people out there who genuinely want advice because they literally have no one else to turn to so they go to a MN forum to get ripped apart by judgemental commenters who don’t seem to understand that it’s not appropriate to be a cunt just because you’re sat behind your keyboard. If you have no compassion, empathy or helpful advice relative to the OP, maybe MN is not the place for you 🤷♀️