Page 5 | To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

CarsonViolet · 2022-09-28T11:07:48+00:00

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!) In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄 Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah. Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it? Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

MsPincher · 28/09/2022 23:43

Ellami · 28/09/2022 23:38

Sadly all of the children I know with double-barrelled surnames are from the try-hard, shiny Range Rover driving, Labrador-owning, skiing set who want to be seen as being double-barrelled. Generally, if they say ‘darling’ very loudly as part of their normal conversation, it’s a dead cert.

The actual wealthy, genuine upper class old money types either have old family names or see one surname as more than adequate. No calling card necessary. I’m not buying the feminist idea in most cases.

Gosh well we can’t all be old money. They are our betters of course.

why shouldn’t a child be named after both it’s parents? It’s entirely a feminist issue.

Ellami · 28/09/2022 23:38

Sadly all of the children I know with double-barrelled surnames are from the try-hard, shiny Range Rover driving, Labrador-owning, skiing set who want to be seen as being double-barrelled. Generally, if they say ‘darling’ very loudly as part of their normal conversation, it’s a dead cert.

The actual wealthy, genuine upper class old money types either have old family names or see one surname as more than adequate. No calling card necessary. I’m not buying the feminist idea in most cases.

Florenz · 28/09/2022 23:27

I think surnames should be done away with and replaced by numbers.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 28/09/2022 23:21

Palmfrond · 28/09/2022 22:55

u wot

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Yes, quite.

Palmfrond · 28/09/2022 22:55

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 28/09/2022 22:35

Nah. Stephen Fry was 'Lord Snot'. It was Emma Thompson who was 'Miss Money-Sterling'.

Jeezum, what place of cultural desert is this? Education, education, education. Begone to Footlights College ... or would that be 'up Scumbag?'

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u wot

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 28/09/2022 22:38

CarsonViolet · 28/09/2022 22:21

I'm very surprised this thread is still up honestly.

But, yes, mumsnet feminism seems to be its own strange brand in which women should only get respect and equality if it's "nice and easy" for everyone else 🙄

I hope they keep it. Apologies if it's contrary to your wishes, as clearly DMs and some of the deeply personal insults being bandied around are not great.

But aside from this, it's a laugh a minute ... 😂

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 28/09/2022 22:35

Palmfrond · 28/09/2022 21:23

@AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut

I’m reminded of William Donaldson’s description of Stephen Fry; “ A stupid person’s idea of a clever person”, which is of course an utterly vile thing for ne to repeat but I think apt to your analysis and also quite funny.

Nah. Stephen Fry was 'Lord Snot'. It was Emma Thompson who was 'Miss Money-Sterling'.

Jeezum, what place of cultural desert is this? Education, education, education. Begone to Footlights College ... or would that be 'up Scumbag?'

CaptainBarbosa · 28/09/2022 22:28

user1471494928 · 28/09/2022 22:22

So you’re forcing your child to have to choose which one they prefer out of their parents name and which of you they are going to upset (speaking from someone who has a double barreled name)

Honestly most women I've planned weddings for who had a DB name just took their husbands partner singular name.

They seemed relieved to get rid of it in some cases.

The men though, they were a bit "stuck" no way to easily offload it, and I found the Bride's to be having a little bit of difficulty knowing they were going to have a DB name. One Groom did take his wife's name though to offload the DB name and that was his reason to me and the registrar. 😂

Original poster

CarsonViolet · 28/09/2022 22:28

user1471494928 · 28/09/2022 22:22

So you’re forcing your child to have to choose which one they prefer out of their parents name and which of you they are going to upset (speaking from someone who has a double barreled name)

This situation would only come up if they were to get married and neither Dh or I would he be upset. In the meantime, while they live under our roof being raised by both of us as equal partners, they will have both our surnames. What they choose to do as adults is none of our business.

I agree that if the child in this scenario has pushy parents who both pressure them to keep their respective name then that's pretty horrible but I can confidently say that that's not me or DH ( or any other parent I know who double barrelled)

OP posts:

user1471494928 · 28/09/2022 22:22

So you’re forcing your child to have to choose which one they prefer out of their parents name and which of you they are going to upset (speaking from someone who has a double barreled name)

Original poster

CarsonViolet · 28/09/2022 22:21

I'm very surprised this thread is still up honestly.

But, yes, mumsnet feminism seems to be its own strange brand in which women should only get respect and equality if it's "nice and easy" for everyone else 🙄

OP posts:

user1471494928 · 28/09/2022 22:18

My parents gave me a double barreled name and I hate it and have found it very annoying throughout my life.

mill1969 · 28/09/2022 22:17

I gave my children my surname. After all I went through there was no way I wasn't going to be named! They have his name as their middle name . There is no drama about this

JunebuginDecember · 28/09/2022 22:15

properdoughnut · 28/09/2022 22:09

How is it any different from writing a 17 letter surname? What would you do with that? Butcher it?

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Excellent point here. No harm done if double barrels aren't right for you but I swear these people never come up with anything that isn't untrue or just petty. My surname has 14 letters so I can't begin to imagine the distress I've caused throughout the years....

CaptainBarbosa · 28/09/2022 22:14

properdoughnut · 28/09/2022 22:11

Jacob ReeSmogg

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I swear they keep him in a coffin in Westminster, and he hangs upside down from the rafters after dark 😳

properdoughnut · 28/09/2022 22:11

CaptainBarbosa · 28/09/2022 17:37

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Is also the reason I'd never double barrel, the man gives me nightmares and is the holder of a double barrel name 😂

Jacob ReeSmogg

properdoughnut · 28/09/2022 22:10

Palmfrond · 28/09/2022 21:55

No, it’s Stockholm syndrome; women coopting patterns of patriarchy. Manspreading, in a way; “idgaf look at my big massive long name that you must use every time you speak or write to me or about me.”
ffs just pick a fucking name. Two names. First name. Last name. You have this one simple job, it’s not an occasion to get jazzy.

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It's just sticking two names together with a - in-between. Treat it as one name if that makes it easier. Why is the - such a tricky thing !!

properdoughnut · 28/09/2022 22:09

TowerRaven7 · 28/09/2022 22:04

I don’t really care either way but at work I’m sending out lots of boxes every day and the school and contract name are hand written by me. If I get a double barreled one say Elise Whitehouse-O’Brien I just write Elise W. O’Brien.
I don’t have time to screw around with that.

How is it any different from writing a 17 letter surname? What would you do with that? Butcher it?

JunebuginDecember · 28/09/2022 22:06

Palmfrond · 28/09/2022 21:55

No, it’s Stockholm syndrome; women coopting patterns of patriarchy. Manspreading, in a way; “idgaf look at my big massive long name that you must use every time you speak or write to me or about me.”
ffs just pick a fucking name. Two names. First name. Last name. You have this one simple job, it’s not an occasion to get jazzy.

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Unhinged or just a good ol' fashioned troll?

TowerRaven7 · 28/09/2022 22:04

I don’t really care either way but at work I’m sending out lots of boxes every day and the school and contract name are hand written by me. If I get a double barreled one say Elise Whitehouse-O’Brien I just write Elise W. O’Brien.
I don’t have time to screw around with that.

notanothertakeaway · 28/09/2022 22:00

Since this is anonymous, I'll admit I think double barrelled names are pretentiou

Palmfrond · 28/09/2022 21:55

JunebuginDecember · 28/09/2022 21:32

Mumsnet feminism has officially gone down the drain if we're now claiming that women should give up their names so that they don't risk seeming 'pretentious'.

I think your inferiority complex is clouding your judgement. It seems a lot of you might just be using this thread to have a pop at people you hate for being better than you by your own whacked perception.

In the year 2022 nobody is double barrelling because they think it's posh 😂It's just the obvious move if you want your kids to see you and your husband as equals, and don't want your family life being clouded by patriarchy.

The handmaidens on this thread....yeesh.

No, it’s Stockholm syndrome; women coopting patterns of patriarchy. Manspreading, in a way; “idgaf look at my big massive long name that you must use every time you speak or write to me or about me.”
ffs just pick a fucking name. Two names. First name. Last name. You have this one simple job, it’s not an occasion to get jazzy.

Tuilpmouse · 28/09/2022 21:43

It's one thing not liking double-barrelled surnames, but it's quite another to chastise your child , especially their partner, for doing so rather than mind their own business!

If I chose a double-barrelled name and my inlaws criticised the decision or passive aggressively ignored it, I'd go ballistic! And I'm not one generally for confrontation...

DuesToTheDirt · 28/09/2022 21:39

"people are pretending it’s about keeping the woman’s name to make it look noble but in most cases it’s just trying to sound upper-middle class and failing dramatically."

What a load of absolute bollocks.

JunebuginDecember · 28/09/2022 21:32

Mumsnet feminism has officially gone down the drain if we're now claiming that women should give up their names so that they don't risk seeming 'pretentious'.

I think your inferiority complex is clouding your judgement. It seems a lot of you might just be using this thread to have a pop at people you hate for being better than you by your own whacked perception.

In the year 2022 nobody is double barrelling because they think it's posh 😂It's just the obvious move if you want your kids to see you and your husband as equals, and don't want your family life being clouded by patriarchy.

The handmaidens on this thread....yeesh.