To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

Why are you (and others) pretending there's a dichotomy between giving children their father's surname or giving them a double-barrelled name?

I'm with you OP. My kids are double barrelled and I didn't bother changing my name when I got married, so they have my name and their dad's name.

My parents, in-laws and others of that generation persist in calling me Mrs dhname though, many years on.

It really isn’t that serious especially when the parent are unmarried but would like their child to have both surnames.

I have a double barrel surname and so do my kids. They can pick which name they keep or drop if they have kids or want to get married. It’s really not the end of the world and I don’t see how it’s pretentious?

Which still favours the paternal name

This is hilarious

So do mine. But it's a calculated attempt to be insulting and to put us little women who have dared to assert a personal preference of identity back in their box. Says more about their insecurities than mine. I just laugh at it now, but when I caught DH thanking MiL on my behalf for a birthday card she'd sent to a Mrs Hisname who doesn't actually exist, I blew up like Vesuvius (a thing I don't do very often). He's under no illusions that this isn't to happen again, particularly as he's told her numerous times to address me by my correct name and she has deliberately ignored it. Same goes for DC, who has both names and she similarly feels she should only acknowledge one. She's been told to stop, again ignored, but it will be a happy day when DC (who is very particular about their accurate name) sets her straight on it. I hope I am there to see her face ...

As for them using my 'Dr' title, hell would freeze over first, and I find that funnier still!

My FIL almost collapsed at my 2 having double barrelled names. We had "what about tradition" "who do you think you are, royalty" "they won't know where they come from" which considering he isn't my partner's biological father and my partner changed his name to match his step dads is even more laughable.
He then started calling my children by his surname and ignoring mine. Last time he did it And I pulled him up he told me that 2 surnames were too much to remember so I said next time I heard him do it I would get hold of deed poll and have their fathers name removed so they would just have the one surname, mine. That seems to have stopped it for now.

I think in most cases the sensible thing to do is to give the child the mother's name as she has carried and birthed it (and its bloody hard work). I gave my DC my partner's name but only because my own name is associated with an unpleasant historical figure and is also generally used to describe their horrible behaviour.

The kids can decide what to do when they are older. It might be that in our case his husband/wife wants to take on his surname, she/he might want to add to it or he might want to take on their name. We would always say it's up to him. In our culture/circles it's not unusual to have really long names my husbands is his name, his dads first name, his middle name, confirmation name (he took it as a legal name when we married) then a double barrelled surname. In reality he uses his first name + surname but it's nice to have that history.

DS is his first name, husbands first name, his middle name followed by doubled surname he will pick his confirmation name soon.

What he picks if and when he gets married is up to him

I double barrelled my DDs. Why should just my husband pass his name on.
People can learn to type/spell two names. Not that hard

My unborn child is getting a double barrelled name. Im not growing this baby for 9 months to have to compromise on its first name AND give up my surname. Equally its my partners child and he gets a say in the name as well. Ergo double barrelling solves the issue. The child can then choose whatever surname it wants for its future offspring. Works in other cultures. Its only the hard of thinking who believe its an issue and sooo difficult to work out.

My DH has a double barrel name and it is a key reason as to why I haven't gotten round to changing my name yet, it will be a pain in the butt. There have been so many times I have seen DH irritated having to spell it out, repeat it numerous times... If there is a situation where a surname needs to be given I always give mine to to save the hassle. It does't help that while neither of his surnames is weird, they aren't super common so not intuitive spellings like Jones or Black. My BIL has said to us that when he marries his partner they will merge their names into a single name rather than keep the double barrel.

As a final point I think it can put children into difficult situations later on. If Sam Double-Barrel marries Chris Two-Names and want to share a surname then they either choose one in it's entirety or each prioritise one half. I don't know how I would go about choosing between my parents names without feeling like I was making one more important.

As far as all the "in 100 years people will end up with 20 surnames" comments...We need only peep outside of Britain for 5 minutes and you can see that they're are literally dozens of nations where double barelling is commonplace and lo and behold this is not case. Almost as if things work themselves out

Yes, honestly it's a shit for brains take. If people don't like it that's one thing, but outright ignorance is another.

We double barrelled when we married as neither wanted to lose our names, I already had a child with my surname. Our son together had our double barrelled surname. I don’t really see what the issue is, it’s never caused any problems other than occasionally running out of room if I have to write my name (I also have a long forename)

Of my friends who have double barrelled names aa children have all taken on their dh name once married ?

@CarsonViolet such as where , ny friend is half spanish so his mums name is part of a middle name and not used aa double barrelled ?

How its done in spain etc is easier as you can't keep double barrelling names again and again and how do you decide what is dropped
One surname is plenty whoevers it is

I think that having this issue down the line is still better than perpetuating an entirely outdated, patriarchal tradition.

The child can decide for themselves what to do with their name on marriage and parents just need to not be petty and offended. Really not a big deal!

(Or you can just create a new name, or just use one or the other partners - but statistics are showing that people are still not using the woman's surname equally).

my children have double barrelled- I’ve said they can dump my surname if they wish come 18- but whilst me and my husband have parental responsibility they will have both our names.

All of the male married couples I know have double barrelled their surnames. It does seem that it's only women who are expected to give up their surname.

Yes they can. However 90% of women still take their husband's surname (from a 2016 survey).

People shouldn't sniff at double barrelling when actually it was a great step forwards and the alternative for most women is still just to take their husband's name.

Can't they just use the woman's surname then?

Those saying double barrelling is 'pretentious' should think about what they are saying.

Double barrelling was a huge step forward for feminism, where previously the surname would automatically default to the man/ father.

It's not pretentious, it was massive progress that it even became a thing.