To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

My ex mil was the same.

Ex h and I were married but I didn’t change my name (also a fucking scandal). So ds has both our names hyphenated.

they were horrified, even more so that my surname was first, then x h. That was purely as it sounded better and flowed. His name first would have sounded terrrible.

we divorced when ds was 9 and from then on, every birthday card to ds was address to just ex h surname. It always used to make me smile thinking of ex mil, writing it in anger thinking it would somehow upset me 🤣🤣

Many of my divorced friends would rather forget their ex. But their children are stuck with their dad’s surname. Double barrel is choice.

I also saw a post on social media last night about Liz and Damian Hurley and amongst all the usual comments mocking his hair style and dress sense (yawn) a man had commented "Poor bloke, why isn't he allowed to even use his own surname?"

I assume he meant he assumed his legal/correct surname must be that of his father (complete crap, there is no such law). His own surname IS Hurley, it's (I assume) on his birth certificate and is the only one he has ever had. I dont think he ever even met his father who tried to deny parentage and is now dead. Why on earth should the arrogant sperm donors surname be considered the "real" one?

My kids have double barrelled surname. We are married but use our own birth surnames and we both wanted them to have our name so it was the only realistic option at that point. We did tell them that when they got to secondary school age they could choose to drop one entirely of their own choice with no pressure from either of us. Surprisingly (because the name is long and they've both moaned about how long it takes to write out) they both chose to keep it.

My son is an adult now and has had some academic publications published in his DB name so he said he "can't" change it now anyway. Interestingly he's now engaged and his fiancee is quite traditional so I'm wondering if she'll take his name or half of it, since she's from a country which doesn't really "get" DB surnames (or middle names either!)

I'm 46 I have a double-barreled name from my Dad, He was given it by his parents who were trying to save some old family name . Say it is Smith-Jones. I hate hate hate hate hate it. I always shorten it to the last part then when I booking stufff and on my email as it is the shorter name. Checking in or registering I always have to say it might be under Smith or Jones . Spent my life spelling it out - explaining what a hyphen is. I let my kids have their Dad's surname even though we weren't married, so they wouldn't have to deal with it. Oh and I got bullied at school for being posh purely cos of the double barrel making me -POSH!

Damn it - I just saw that this was a 🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️ thread!

Your in laws don't get a vote. Simple as that.

My father in law continues to be disappointed I didn't change my surname when marrying his son. Oh well, so sad, too bad.

I agree with you. I know a man who is so disparaging of children with double barrelled names. He sees it as a sign of “unmarried parents” which he is disparaging of despite being with his partner and mother of his kids for 20 years before marrying.

I asked him what is wrong with a woman wanting her children to have her name too and he can never give an answer.

I think that couples should create a new name that becomes their family name. It'd be a name that describes them somehow (like in the old days Taylor or Smith or Turner). So I and my DC would be the Wordsmithery family, or you could be Giraffes if you're all tall, or Chortles if you're comedians.
I'd love to see this catch on 😂

I've had one all my life. And people used to say I was posh (I wasn't, my parents just weren't married and had their own names). I didn't understand until I got to uni and all the trust fund babies had double barrelled names, too.

And now I've married another double barrelled surnamed person. And we gave them one of each (I made my parents decide which). Except that my husband's country doesn't allow any freedom with name choices, and consider my 2 surnames as ONE. SO my eldest has ended up with THREE, YES THREE, very long surnames on his passport and it doesn't match his birth cert. However, I suspect this is a very unique situation.

To be honest, if there are any more comments, just say, 'well that's it. Let's move on'. We had to do this with the first names for our kids (they're very normal names), and my husband was firm, so that was the last of it.

Some of us have surnames we would not wish upon our children! As a couple with two surnames each (mine is technically a middle name that whole family shares, partner's is double barreled) it is a relief that we get to choose from multiple options to find something that won't automatically result in bullying rather than just subjecting them 'character building' for the sake of tradition.

Nothing wrong with giving women/ couples/ children a choice. Up to them what they want to do with it after centuries of being forced into wearing a man’s name. Maybe even one day, men will take women’s name if they want to, without being judged for it. Up to people to choose, let them be.

I’m entitled to my opinion as you are to yours. No need to resort to personal abuse.

I would double-barrel it myself but fine if others want to do it.

What I really think is stupid is giving kids a name that no-one can spell or which is a common name but with an uncommon spelling. A lifetime of having to spell their name to everyone.

do we need to resurrect a zombie from 2022 only to post the same old same old? I'm sure kids with double barreled names will be able to figure it out when the time comes.

Yes, and there won’t be enough space in online forms to get all the names in.

Where does it end? Grandchildren with four surnames and great grandchildren with eight? It’s utterly ridiculous.

My children have double barrel surnames and people love giving negative opinions on it- even in front of the kids. Every family has a personal story- our business . It feels in England people are a bit lazy with long words, would rather pick a nickname and avoid pronouncing a long foreign name. Adding a couple of sylllables is simply too much hard work for some

My parents gave me both surnames. It was such a ballache and I hated it so started going by one name (my mother's name, but not because of preference, just because it came first so people tended to file.me under that letter). When I was old enough I deed polled it to just her name. I explained to my dad it was nothing personal and he is fine with it.
Tbh, I think its ridiculous that people place so much emphasis and identity on a surname (it's just an identifier), and even care whether a kid had their name or their partners. But that's just me.

Point being, you can do what you want, but don't be offended if your kid feels differently and changes it (either officially or through marriage). Because when you think about it and all the other myriad of ways you are linked and bonded to your child, a surname is neither here nor there

Don't understand the fuss. We chose to give our DC my name rather than DB. I carried and gave birth to them, so it didn't make any sense to us for them to take their dad's name. It's never caused any issue and family/friends have never (openly) made any comment.

My son had Portuguese tenants and in my view it really WAS a problem. They had about 4 surnames each and a first and middle name. The tenancy agency made a right meal of it. The bank has massive problems now you have to type in the name of a payee but there is probably not space for the massive names and so much ID these days requires exact matching.
My neighbours are interesting - arranged marriage, Indian and the wife's second name, surname because her husband's first name on marriage so she has his first name as her surname and he has the surname he always had - that is on their property deeds too as that is her official name. I had to look up that area of India's tradition for names which was a new one on me

Yes, non-Anglos are just so annoying innit.

I hope you have told all those Spaniards and Portuguese that.

Double-barrelling I a pretentious and annoying