To think 2 is easier than 1?

Yep, I definitely felt less lonely when the second was a baby due to having the older one (who didn't shut up even at 2 🤣) around.

n.b. whilst there are some major economies of scale for financially and time wise this is not true of everything and some jobs do scale in a linear fashion e.g. the laundry pile with a household of 6 - 8 people is not what I would call "a breeze"

I don't think Easier is the right word for me, but 2 is a million times better. More fun, and I love seeing their relationship develop. There is 6 years between my 2 and they are best friends!

I don't think it's easier but I do think you worry less. There's no time to stress over little things so you just get in with it better knowing the first one survived just fine !!!

Hmm I have DS 13 and dd 10, DS has been away for the weekend and it was infinitely much easier with one. Only one needing food, one wanting to do stuff.
They never want to do the same stuff, eat the same or be in the same breathing space mainly.
Sorry to burst your bubble but wait until they are both able to express their opinions and then come back to us!

Can I just say, in light of that, I have no idea how someone copes with more than two 🤣

Hmm.. In a way I can see what you mean. I have a 22-month age gap between mine😱 and in some ways it was slightly more enjoyable as I literally didn't have time to think, was just on the go the whole time. Also felt like I had to make more of an effort to get out for the older one, so regular groups etc and got more into a routine.. No chance to stay in and mope!

And now that they're 4 and 6, they do play nicely together and so probably require less input from me on that front?

However, overall, it is definitely more work 🤣 Aside from the doubling of all the physical aspects of childcare, you also have to not only manage your relationship with them, but manage their relationship with each other. Also double the amount of emotional input...

Plus when they get to school, start doing clubs etc, it's all the school admin, reading, homework, ferrying around etc... Even if they both only do two clubs/lessons each, if they're on separate days, that's four different days/nights of the week...

I found it much easier with two.

Having said that, I suffered with pnd after baby one, which disappeared when I was pregnant with baby 2, and didn't recur so that might have a lot to do with it.

Completely agree, but also once you get to three, four ,five and six are a breeze

It's 250 harder with two.

Haha I read the title anved thought "said no twin Mom ever"

Yup , twin mum here, I've nearly punched people in the face for suggesting that.

Thanks @ReeseWitherfork
Have been solo parenting a baby and a 3 year most of the weekend whilst DH is at work so this thread is just a bit close to home for me right now! 🤣

1 was ok but he was a terror as a toddler +. 2 was the pits for the first 2 years. 3 has been easiest so far. Turns out temperament of child and external factors have way more of an impact than number of kids for me.

When they start playing together... it's the most amazing thing ever. I found it hard to entertain my DD when she was an only, but now she plays with her sister in instead of constantly wanting my attention.

Depends on the age of kids. Found baby stage with 2nd one fine, not easier than just having the one, but not twice as hard.

When he was 6-18m it was very hard, pandemic didn't help. Now youngest is over 2 I would agree with you though.
When I just have the little one home I have to do so much more entertaining!

I'm completely with you.

Like everyone else has said I think it's partly down to the parent and child's temperament. I also obsessed over everything with my first and found when I had to drop my standards, I was happier. Also oddly enough relieved the loneliness I felt with the one-on-one dynamic.

My first really had to be taken out twice a day or would be whingey and bored. The second....I can easily spend all day pottering while they help me with chores, etc.

I had the same gap by the sounds of it.

I also think I function better under a slight "siege" mentality- like wow this is so hard, I'm just going to do my best! Rather than wow, surely this should be easier and I should be making the most of every precious second...

I agree. I find 2 easier than having 1. With 1 I was overwhelmed and it felt all consuming. Having said that going from 0 kids to 1 was really difficult.

I have friends who don’t feel the same way! 😀

I found it great when they were babies/pre-schoolers and they played together etc (two years between my eldest). However I found it got harder once at school with different interests and friendship groups and then very hard as teens when they actively despised each other. As young adults they are more settled with each other. One of each sex so I don't know if that made a difference.

As an aside, number three was a piece of piss - big age gap of eight years and loved it.

When they are older and can argue/both run away, it can be very hard.

Anyone who makes these sorts of comments are assholes.
When you’re pregnant and you have insomnia and you’re uncomfortable and shattered and people say “wait until you have a newborn” or…
When you have a baby and they’re not sleeping and they’re teething and fussing and people say “wait until they’re a toddler” or…
Generally anytime you moan on the first 13 years and someone points out the teenage years are the hardest.

All asshole behaviour.

But I’m also going to add goady posts about how easy having two is. I don’t think you saying your bit about those annoying assholes is worth making @Dipsy12 feel like utter shit.

@MolliciousIntent you're probably right. I feel much more relaxed with two. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect parent with the first.

Your first is literally life-changing. Your second is just adding a bit of incremental complexity. I wouldn’t say it’s “easier”, but it certainly isn’t the same shock to the system as your first, in my experience.

Also, now that my DCs are all school aged / toddlers and can play with each other, it’s probably easier than having one DC reliant on me for company all the time.

No mine are 10 and 12 now. So calm with just the one. They both want my attention. Argue. Want different foods to eat at tea time etc.